(no subject)
Wow.
I wasn't aware that it was so easy to just....start crying. I shouldn't be reading any of my old writing. It's packed with far too many emotions and memories. Memories that I guess I have been trying to forget. How can all of this evoke so many questions from me?
How could something so innocent and pure NOT last forever? I want to go back to the mindset that THIS is the life. This is where I wanted to be forever.
How could I have done this? What was I thinking? And how could it have evolved into something so wonderful and then died?
I know we were soulmates in that "We're going to be friends forever" kind of way. What the hell made us forget?
How could my parents be such assholes? How did I allow something that I was expecting for years and years to tear me to shreds?
What the hell happened to you? To us? I guess I was right all along. It was a horrible thing to get ourselves into. But, damn, it was fun. And it's sad that we can't even embrace the fact that it might have been worth it.
Where has all the simplicity gone? Why can't I find happiness like this now?
What have I done to myself? What am I doing to myself? I want to find some aspect of any of this kind of happiness...somewhere. I want to be able to stop feeling like this at the end of the day. I want to feel whole again. Who took this feeling away from me...and can I please have it back?
I wasn't aware that it was so easy to just....start crying. I shouldn't be reading any of my old writing. It's packed with far too many emotions and memories. Memories that I guess I have been trying to forget. How can all of this evoke so many questions from me?
How could something so innocent and pure NOT last forever? I want to go back to the mindset that THIS is the life. This is where I wanted to be forever.
How could I have done this? What was I thinking? And how could it have evolved into something so wonderful and then died?
I know we were soulmates in that "We're going to be friends forever" kind of way. What the hell made us forget?
How could my parents be such assholes? How did I allow something that I was expecting for years and years to tear me to shreds?
What the hell happened to you? To us? I guess I was right all along. It was a horrible thing to get ourselves into. But, damn, it was fun. And it's sad that we can't even embrace the fact that it might have been worth it.
Where has all the simplicity gone? Why can't I find happiness like this now?
What have I done to myself? What am I doing to myself? I want to find some aspect of any of this kind of happiness...somewhere. I want to be able to stop feeling like this at the end of the day. I want to feel whole again. Who took this feeling away from me...and can I please have it back?