dreams

[boombox_heart]

last night i had the most amazing dream. it was so real that i actually woke up and believed it was true... i swung my feet out of bed took a few steps, picked up my phone to call you and realized it never happened. we where standing there... she was there too... all we did was spend time together. it was like it used to be and i asked you if you wanted to try again... i asked if you wanted to take a chance and see what happens... you made me wait. you told me you had to think about it... it seemed like forever. i saw you talking to her and you smiled and i figured your mind was made up... then you looked at me, and you had this look in your eyes... you looked at me the way you used to and it made my knees weak. then you came over to me and hugged me and told me your mind was made up and you wanted me... you wanted to see what could happen... i was so happy. you kissed me and hugged me tight. then i told you i was going to go home and nap and call you later... then i woke up believing i had just taken a blissful afternoon nap... but that wasn't the case at all.

it kills me that i can tell you to stay out of my life if you don't want to be in it... but part of me will never let me forget your face... i hate that part of me

i wish i never would have asked if i could kiss you that night