confusion washes over me...
" love is just a hoxe so forget everything you have heard "
i always seem to mess things up some how or another... i don't know what i do. the other night i was talking to my friend and he asked me were all my dudes were... i laughed and said i don't have any dudes, dudes don't like me that's why i'm sitting at home alone tonight. then he asked me a question that is still bothering me today... why don't dudes like you? i played it off and just said i don't know you tell me... but i can't help but wonder... is it something that i do? do i push people away... well i know i do. i push people away when i think there may be a potential for a relationship. i don't know what to do with myself... i'm so un happy but yet i won't allow myself to be happy... what am i afraid of? i don't know i rack my brain day in and day out for the answer.
i had a friend a while ago that i did some stupid things with... i don't regret anything i did, instead i just learned from it... well one night we had decided to be honest and she started crying and she told me that sometimes she just stares at me when i'm on the phone or when i'm driving and singing and she said that she was so jelous because she thought i was beautiful... i was so shocked because she was the one that everyone always went after... she was the hot friend that everyone always wanted to hook up with... i was the ugly friend... i couldn't understand why she was jelous of me... she told me i didn't have to do anything to be pretty i just was.... i didn't know how to take that because i don't see myself that way... now i'm wondering if she really ment it or if it was just the e talking...
i have to start letting my walls down... but if i do then just anyone can get in... what am i talking about i let the wrong people in anyway... i just have to go numb... that way no one will be able to hurt me...
i'm so glad i met someone i know is all around good... i see a lot of myself in her... i can see us being friends for a long time and i like that... now she just needs to be a dude and we could be together and it would be rad... haha awwww <3
" love's completley real so forget anything you have heard "
i always seem to mess things up some how or another... i don't know what i do. the other night i was talking to my friend and he asked me were all my dudes were... i laughed and said i don't have any dudes, dudes don't like me that's why i'm sitting at home alone tonight. then he asked me a question that is still bothering me today... why don't dudes like you? i played it off and just said i don't know you tell me... but i can't help but wonder... is it something that i do? do i push people away... well i know i do. i push people away when i think there may be a potential for a relationship. i don't know what to do with myself... i'm so un happy but yet i won't allow myself to be happy... what am i afraid of? i don't know i rack my brain day in and day out for the answer.
i had a friend a while ago that i did some stupid things with... i don't regret anything i did, instead i just learned from it... well one night we had decided to be honest and she started crying and she told me that sometimes she just stares at me when i'm on the phone or when i'm driving and singing and she said that she was so jelous because she thought i was beautiful... i was so shocked because she was the one that everyone always went after... she was the hot friend that everyone always wanted to hook up with... i was the ugly friend... i couldn't understand why she was jelous of me... she told me i didn't have to do anything to be pretty i just was.... i didn't know how to take that because i don't see myself that way... now i'm wondering if she really ment it or if it was just the e talking...
i have to start letting my walls down... but if i do then just anyone can get in... what am i talking about i let the wrong people in anyway... i just have to go numb... that way no one will be able to hurt me...
i'm so glad i met someone i know is all around good... i see a lot of myself in her... i can see us being friends for a long time and i like that... now she just needs to be a dude and we could be together and it would be rad... haha awwww <3
" love's completley real so forget anything you have heard "