Mother + Me (Again)
Ugh. I swear my mother is borderline bi-polar or something. Last night, she was all "I love my favorite support group" and it was hugs and kisses all around. This morning, she discovered that a teapot that she had set on the edge of the counter was knocked into the sink, along with a set of teacups that I think are actually sake cups, but that's ok. She started into me about how I needed to "be careful" and how I "never listen to her." I ended the conversation (if you could call it that) at that time. But still, she really needs to decide in her own mind if I'm an expectation or a human. If I'm an expectation, then there are three possibilities: I am the good little over-achiever who gets all straight A's and calls her parents mommy and daddy forever; I'm the teenage daughter (which I am, teenage I mean) which means I am rebellious and hormonal and hate her and everything she stands for, or I'm an adult about her age (and I think this is the one that gets her into the most trouble) and I am expected to make decisions based on 40+ years of life experience (which I do not have.) If I'm a human, of course I'll let down some expectations, because that's what humans DO. But she needs to make up her mind soon, because as soon as I am employed in such a fashion that will allow me to move out, I will. And then I will stop asking permission. And I will prove to myself, and to her, that, while bits of me are present in her expectations, I am NOT an expectation or a one dimensional stereotype. What I am is a human, complete unto myself. And yes, I will make decisions that she won't like, but life has a tendency to move on, and so will I.