Losing my girlish enthusiasm
I think I'm headed for a period of intense denial of reality. The Katrina disaster -- in all senses of that word -- has me angry, numb, horrified, maudlin, furious and detached. All at the same time. I want to weep and scream and mourn the loss of my faith in my nation (what little I had to begin with), and then I seem to sigh deep down and turn away in my head.
I remember September 11th killed me all at once, perhaps because it was so instantly overwhelming. Watching that happen, those planes and the fires and people jumping from windows and buildings collapsing, and then seeing the incredibly rally of the world's people to try and right that hideous wrong. It was so painful and exhilarating at the same time.
This time... This time our own government has fucked the entire situation over, the world's people have tried to send aid, to rush to the scene and they have been DELIBERATELY REFUSED the ABILITY TO HELP. And now is when I, a certified polytheist of the highest order, pray to every God I know that Bush and Brown and all their people believe in their Christian God and His Heaven and His Hell so that they can suffer in that Christian Hell for eternity. Dante says that Satan reserves the greatest punishment in Hell for those who have been treacherous. Lucifer has three faces, three mouths, chewing on 3 sinners for eternity. And who is reserved for the greatest punishment of this fallen angel who weeps blood and whose hideous bat wings mindlessly beating are the source of the freezing cold of Hell? Judas, Brutus and Cassius, who have betrayed family, country, God.
I think, were Dante with us today, Satan would trade Brutus and Cassius with Bush and Brown. And that image? Brings me peace.
In a reaction that was at first subconscious, I've been consuming books like water. The Time Traveler's Wife, The Dante Club, The Shadow of the Wind, Crusader's Cross, Guardian of Honor, The Forgotten Man, The Serpent on the Crown, Kitchen Confidential.... I go through a book a day, not sleeping if I need to finish. Because I need to finish, to read and be in that world and not be in this one. To absorb new thoughts, ideas, characters and circumstances. To construct a place where I know the people, and they will act in ways I understand. Because what has happened in the wake of this bitch Katrina... I don't know this world anymore, I fear.
I remember September 11th killed me all at once, perhaps because it was so instantly overwhelming. Watching that happen, those planes and the fires and people jumping from windows and buildings collapsing, and then seeing the incredibly rally of the world's people to try and right that hideous wrong. It was so painful and exhilarating at the same time.
This time... This time our own government has fucked the entire situation over, the world's people have tried to send aid, to rush to the scene and they have been DELIBERATELY REFUSED the ABILITY TO HELP. And now is when I, a certified polytheist of the highest order, pray to every God I know that Bush and Brown and all their people believe in their Christian God and His Heaven and His Hell so that they can suffer in that Christian Hell for eternity. Dante says that Satan reserves the greatest punishment in Hell for those who have been treacherous. Lucifer has three faces, three mouths, chewing on 3 sinners for eternity. And who is reserved for the greatest punishment of this fallen angel who weeps blood and whose hideous bat wings mindlessly beating are the source of the freezing cold of Hell? Judas, Brutus and Cassius, who have betrayed family, country, God.
I think, were Dante with us today, Satan would trade Brutus and Cassius with Bush and Brown. And that image? Brings me peace.
In a reaction that was at first subconscious, I've been consuming books like water. The Time Traveler's Wife, The Dante Club, The Shadow of the Wind, Crusader's Cross, Guardian of Honor, The Forgotten Man, The Serpent on the Crown, Kitchen Confidential.... I go through a book a day, not sleeping if I need to finish. Because I need to finish, to read and be in that world and not be in this one. To absorb new thoughts, ideas, characters and circumstances. To construct a place where I know the people, and they will act in ways I understand. Because what has happened in the wake of this bitch Katrina... I don't know this world anymore, I fear.