What's the difference between a large pizza and an English major?
This week is Graduation Fair week at the bookstore, where the Alumni Association, loan consolidation firms, class ring representatives, photography studios, florists, and graduation announcement providers all vie for your attention (and money). It's also the first chance you have to buy your graduation regalia (we get to call it regalia now! that's so cool, in a geeky kind of way!), and order other things you might need closer to the ceremony, like the Stole of Gratitude (which is, no joke, its real title).
Most of the graduation stuff comes in easy one-price packages. We bachelor's degree candidates have two options: the Basic, which includes regalia (*glee*), a diploma cover, the commencement fee, and a one-year membership to the alumni association; or the Standard, which is everything in the Basic, plus a $115 Elite Diploma Frame. I really don't think I have much need for a Diploma Frame, Elite or not, so I decided on the Basic package.
What I didn't know is they actually give you most of the stuff in the package right then and there, so now I'm actually in ownership of yet another itchy polyester graduation gown. At least this one, unlike my high school graduation gown, does not make me look that much like a frantic refugee from a gospel choir.
Of course, I had to inaugurate my new regalia with a series of bleak photographs, most of which I feel can be captioned, "WILL RECITE CHAUCER FOR FOOD. ANY BIT HELPS. GOD BLESS."
(and in answer to the subject line, a large pizza can feed a family of four.)