[1-7] Reader's Digest: The Forgotton Books
I'm trying to do away with my REALLY LONG LIST of stuff to reaction shot! Unfortunately, the books at the top of the list are from SEPTEMBER.
... Yeah, these reviews are going to be me going "Oh! I remember this!" and "I think it was okay..." a lot.
[1] Lucifer: Mansions of the Silence by Mike Carey, Peter Gross, Ryan Kelly, and Dean Ormston
Let's have a quick intelligence test! You're on a flying boat with a lot of other people. One of them's kinda meek and sweet and terrified and tiny and oh yeah, he has wings. He flies off for a short time while you're in a mysterious place filled with things trying to kill you, and when he comes back he's wearing armour and has taken a level or three in BADASS.
If you either don't notice or don't question this, you'll fit right in with most of the cast of this.
Seriously, that's my main memory of this: yelling at the main characters for being blind or stupid (I really should check this out in the library again, because I remember bitching at the final boss fight a lot but not WHY beyond "YOU COULD DO THIS YOU PILLOCKS!". There was also a guy making CREEPY DOLLS or LANTERNS with little sad faces out of souls, cheering for the pregnant woman pretty much the whole way through (Woman has one arm and won't let it get in her way. Woman pounces on hot guy and as I recall tops him pretty thoroughly because he's lazy. Woman refuses to take back the demon-baby even though it saved her life and seriously, that was SENSIBLE because that was SO going to kill her! D: ), wishing the art was better for the scenes with Lucifer (who was seriously the only good reason I can find to read this comic again, and he wasn't even IN IT that often), especially when he was with his brother Michael. And I may have spent a ridiculous amount of time cackling at the girl and her friend becoming goddesses. Especially what they became goddesses OF.
Verdict: This is one of those books that sounds AWESOME when people summarise it for you, but I... Wasn't really that enthralled with it! Lucifer was quite awesome though, so I may give the series another chance.
[2] Hellblazer: Lady Constantine by Andy Diggle and Goran Sudzuka
Mwahahahaha, Constantine and the Swamp Thing are probably DESTINED TO MEET FOREVER and that makes me happy. As does the fact that this Constantine, while not the sarcastic chain-smoking dick from The Swamp Thing, is a swindler and smart and unashamededly moneygrubbing and she has a pirate captain on call. (Also, please tell me I'm not the only one who wanted pirate captain/magical construct slash. Please?) I think the villain was kinda ridiculous, and seriously, HANDS UP ALL THOSE WHO DIDN'T SEE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH MOUSE COMING FROM FOUR MILES AWAY. No one? GOOD.
Verdict: Not bad, just kinda predictable.
[3] Batman: The Joker's Last Laugh by Chuck Dixon and Scott Beatty
Really, who the HELL would tell the Joker that he had brain cancer? WHO? At least without doing a thousand checks first to confirm the result, locking him in a box he can't get out of, and really strong sedatives?
Apart from my problem with the whole basic premise (and haha, you really need to see what happens with THAT), this was INSANE! The lunatics take over the asylum and all become jokerfied! The Joker all-but destroys the world! Oracle's OCD about never leaving her screens is validated! Nightwing! No, really Nightwing needs no explanation because flsdhgjkjf! The Joker's plans for the escape! The completely badass woman protecting her boss and killing people because she doesn't want him to have to! The guy who changes powers every time he dies! Harley Quin!
Oh god, the whole thing is mental but I'd read the whole thing again just to boggle.
Verdict: ... Oh god, I don't even know.
[4] Batman Year Two: Fear the Reaper by Mike W. Barr, Alan Davis, Todd McFarlane, Paul Neary (artist), Alfredo Alcala (artist)
Wow, these parallels with Bruce Wayne's childhood trauma are completely not forced or shoe-horned in for plot purposes in any way! Nor is Batman swearing off crime fighting for the love of a good woman!
Also Batman being talked into offing himself was completely ridiculous but there was Robin! Robin is always for the win!
[5] Batman: No Man's Land Volume 2 by Bob Gale, Greg Rucka, and Ian Edgington
I've read one of the issues compiled here - the one with Two Face and the police officer - and I love it with the fire of a thousand suns even though the art makes me twitch. NOW though, I have slightly more context and know vaguely WHY Gotham was suddenly post-apocalyptic. And I MEAN slightly, because the exposition kinda fails at being memorable.
Things that DON'T fail at being memorable!
* GCPD and the supervillains and the goddamn Batman having EPIC GANG WARS up to and including gunfights and tagging their territory.
* THE TWOFACE STORY! *flails*
* The story about the old man who was looking after people. Oh god, that broke my heart. ;__;
* The two idjits wandering into one of the Joker's old hideouts and surviving all the traps through sheer dumb luck.
* The new Batgirl appearing and Oracle's reaction. Oh Oracle...
* Batman in a gladiator-style arena courtesy of the Penguin!
The story itself would probably make more sense to me if I'd read the first volume, but as it is? Random scenes of win and heartbreak.
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[6 & 7] Café Occult Volumes One and Two by Ahn No Uhn (Artist), Oh Rhe Bar Ghun
Do not read this after playing The World Ends With You! If you're anything like me you will get really confused. Apart from that, this appears to be your standard action-shoujo series. The heroine is liked by EVERYONE
except the hero (even the adorable little girl with split personality/mother issues), and sought by everyone. The hero is brooding with A Dark Past and, y'know, killing himself by inches - he has a funky cross-shaped gun that made even me boggle, and I think he can turn into a monster but I COULD BE WRONG! The villains can all do weird and wonderful things, possibly involving turning into monsters or other people. The heroine's BFF is there for no reason other than exposition and motivation. There are places only Special People can go.
It's not a bad series, just not memorable enough that I'd pay money for it. I mean, seriously, if they weren't all dead I wouldn't remember it at all.
... Yeah, these reviews are going to be me going "Oh! I remember this!" and "I think it was okay..." a lot.
[1] Lucifer: Mansions of the Silence by Mike Carey, Peter Gross, Ryan Kelly, and Dean Ormston
Let's have a quick intelligence test! You're on a flying boat with a lot of other people. One of them's kinda meek and sweet and terrified and tiny and oh yeah, he has wings. He flies off for a short time while you're in a mysterious place filled with things trying to kill you, and when he comes back he's wearing armour and has taken a level or three in BADASS.
If you either don't notice or don't question this, you'll fit right in with most of the cast of this.
Seriously, that's my main memory of this: yelling at the main characters for being blind or stupid (I really should check this out in the library again, because I remember bitching at the final boss fight a lot but not WHY beyond "YOU COULD DO THIS YOU PILLOCKS!". There was also a guy making CREEPY DOLLS or LANTERNS with little sad faces out of souls, cheering for the pregnant woman pretty much the whole way through (Woman has one arm and won't let it get in her way. Woman pounces on hot guy and as I recall tops him pretty thoroughly because he's lazy. Woman refuses to take back the demon-baby even though it saved her life and seriously, that was SENSIBLE because that was SO going to kill her! D: ), wishing the art was better for the scenes with Lucifer (who was seriously the only good reason I can find to read this comic again, and he wasn't even IN IT that often), especially when he was with his brother Michael. And I may have spent a ridiculous amount of time cackling at the girl and her friend becoming goddesses. Especially what they became goddesses OF.
Verdict: This is one of those books that sounds AWESOME when people summarise it for you, but I... Wasn't really that enthralled with it! Lucifer was quite awesome though, so I may give the series another chance.
[2] Hellblazer: Lady Constantine by Andy Diggle and Goran Sudzuka
Mwahahahaha, Constantine and the Swamp Thing are probably DESTINED TO MEET FOREVER and that makes me happy. As does the fact that this Constantine, while not the sarcastic chain-smoking dick from The Swamp Thing, is a swindler and smart and unashamededly moneygrubbing and she has a pirate captain on call. (Also, please tell me I'm not the only one who wanted pirate captain/magical construct slash. Please?) I think the villain was kinda ridiculous, and seriously, HANDS UP ALL THOSE WHO DIDN'T SEE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH MOUSE COMING FROM FOUR MILES AWAY. No one? GOOD.
Verdict: Not bad, just kinda predictable.
[3] Batman: The Joker's Last Laugh by Chuck Dixon and Scott Beatty
Really, who the HELL would tell the Joker that he had brain cancer? WHO? At least without doing a thousand checks first to confirm the result, locking him in a box he can't get out of, and really strong sedatives?
Apart from my problem with the whole basic premise (and haha, you really need to see what happens with THAT), this was INSANE! The lunatics take over the asylum and all become jokerfied! The Joker all-but destroys the world! Oracle's OCD about never leaving her screens is validated! Nightwing! No, really Nightwing needs no explanation because flsdhgjkjf! The Joker's plans for the escape! The completely badass woman protecting her boss and killing people because she doesn't want him to have to! The guy who changes powers every time he dies! Harley Quin!
Oh god, the whole thing is mental but I'd read the whole thing again just to boggle.
Verdict: ... Oh god, I don't even know.
[4] Batman Year Two: Fear the Reaper by Mike W. Barr, Alan Davis, Todd McFarlane, Paul Neary (artist), Alfredo Alcala (artist)
Wow, these parallels with Bruce Wayne's childhood trauma are completely not forced or shoe-horned in for plot purposes in any way! Nor is Batman swearing off crime fighting for the love of a good woman!
Also Batman being talked into offing himself was completely ridiculous but there was Robin! Robin is always for the win!
[5] Batman: No Man's Land Volume 2 by Bob Gale, Greg Rucka, and Ian Edgington
I've read one of the issues compiled here - the one with Two Face and the police officer - and I love it with the fire of a thousand suns even though the art makes me twitch. NOW though, I have slightly more context and know vaguely WHY Gotham was suddenly post-apocalyptic. And I MEAN slightly, because the exposition kinda fails at being memorable.
Things that DON'T fail at being memorable!
* GCPD and the supervillains and the goddamn Batman having EPIC GANG WARS up to and including gunfights and tagging their territory.
* THE TWOFACE STORY! *flails*
* The story about the old man who was looking after people. Oh god, that broke my heart. ;__;
* The two idjits wandering into one of the Joker's old hideouts and surviving all the traps through sheer dumb luck.
* The new Batgirl appearing and Oracle's reaction. Oh Oracle...
* Batman in a gladiator-style arena courtesy of the Penguin!
The story itself would probably make more sense to me if I'd read the first volume, but as it is? Random scenes of win and heartbreak.
[6 & 7] Café Occult Volumes One and Two by Ahn No Uhn (Artist), Oh Rhe Bar Ghun
Do not read this after playing The World Ends With You! If you're anything like me you will get really confused. Apart from that, this appears to be your standard action-shoujo series. The heroine is liked by EVERYONE
except the hero (even the adorable little girl with split personality/mother issues), and sought by everyone. The hero is brooding with A Dark Past and, y'know, killing himself by inches - he has a funky cross-shaped gun that made even me boggle, and I think he can turn into a monster but I COULD BE WRONG! The villains can all do weird and wonderful things, possibly involving turning into monsters or other people. The heroine's BFF is there for no reason other than exposition and motivation. There are places only Special People can go.
It's not a bad series, just not memorable enough that I'd pay money for it. I mean, seriously, if they weren't all dead I wouldn't remember it at all.