So. Here goes.
I have some to update about between now and when last I updated but this has to come out right now before I vomit or my head explodes.
So I was talking to Neal earlier tonight (we left each other about 20 min. ago) and we talked for probably an hour. Well... he has pretty much decided or is thinking about or whatever going to St. John's College in Annapolis in the fall. He says he really understands now that he wants to pursue teaching, that he thinks he has something to offer there, etc. so he wants to go back to school - he's going somewhere far away so that he will no longer be connected to friends and family and work. Which I think will be good - I'm still not completely sure how I feel about this but he needs to work some more details out before anything's going to happen anyway.
So as we're talking, he mentions to me that there are several people that think I need to be somewhere other than Radford - Kendall and Mrs. Rabin both happened to mention it to him today and he himself had been thinking about it earlier. So he got me thinking again - and his main suggestion was William and Mary. I'm far enough away from my past disappointment with them that I think I could pursue reopening my application. The thing is, after this semester, I will need only 14 more credits to have the equivalent to an Associate's Degree, i.e., all my gen. ed. will be done. 4 of those credits I am considering taking at Western this summer (science, ew.). So - if I'm going to transfer, it would really make most sense to just go ahead and go there next fall. Only problem = I have already agreed to room with B - get an apartment or live on campus. And - when Neal and I were thinking about leaving earlier in the year, she and Evan were really upset - mainly her. and I assured her shortly after that I would be here - but I don't necessarily want to be - part of it is for her. So - we have a girls' night out scheduled for tomorrow and I'm going to have to damper it with this. I really wanna go in the fall - I could wait, however, until the spring which I think would be a nice compromise. Only thing - W&M only accepts 40-60 spring transfer students :\ my chances would be rather slim. So what to do?? I have no idea. I'm just gonna lay it all out there for B - I hate hurting her feelings because she is very sensitive and often holds back her true opinion to please the other person - I don't want that - but then again, I need something better than Radford... I get asked all the time why I'm here. And I know there are certain things that I needed to go through here but I don't know that I need to stay much longer. Anyway, so I just need to talk to her - let her know what's going on - see if she would rather me stay for fall or just go ahead and leave - she had a tentative living plan with some other people that she turned down but the spot may still be open, I'm not sure. I don't want to leave her hanging out to dry, but I don't want to be smothered here anymore. WHAT TO DO??? :( This sucks.
I love Neal for challenging me, though. He's very gentle, but he gets his point across and I really see the love he has for me when he does things like this, thinks about me like he does :) We shall see, my friends. Advice is thoroughly welcome - prayers as well!
So I was talking to Neal earlier tonight (we left each other about 20 min. ago) and we talked for probably an hour. Well... he has pretty much decided or is thinking about or whatever going to St. John's College in Annapolis in the fall. He says he really understands now that he wants to pursue teaching, that he thinks he has something to offer there, etc. so he wants to go back to school - he's going somewhere far away so that he will no longer be connected to friends and family and work. Which I think will be good - I'm still not completely sure how I feel about this but he needs to work some more details out before anything's going to happen anyway.
So as we're talking, he mentions to me that there are several people that think I need to be somewhere other than Radford - Kendall and Mrs. Rabin both happened to mention it to him today and he himself had been thinking about it earlier. So he got me thinking again - and his main suggestion was William and Mary. I'm far enough away from my past disappointment with them that I think I could pursue reopening my application. The thing is, after this semester, I will need only 14 more credits to have the equivalent to an Associate's Degree, i.e., all my gen. ed. will be done. 4 of those credits I am considering taking at Western this summer (science, ew.). So - if I'm going to transfer, it would really make most sense to just go ahead and go there next fall. Only problem = I have already agreed to room with B - get an apartment or live on campus. And - when Neal and I were thinking about leaving earlier in the year, she and Evan were really upset - mainly her. and I assured her shortly after that I would be here - but I don't necessarily want to be - part of it is for her. So - we have a girls' night out scheduled for tomorrow and I'm going to have to damper it with this. I really wanna go in the fall - I could wait, however, until the spring which I think would be a nice compromise. Only thing - W&M only accepts 40-60 spring transfer students :\ my chances would be rather slim. So what to do?? I have no idea. I'm just gonna lay it all out there for B - I hate hurting her feelings because she is very sensitive and often holds back her true opinion to please the other person - I don't want that - but then again, I need something better than Radford... I get asked all the time why I'm here. And I know there are certain things that I needed to go through here but I don't know that I need to stay much longer. Anyway, so I just need to talk to her - let her know what's going on - see if she would rather me stay for fall or just go ahead and leave - she had a tentative living plan with some other people that she turned down but the spot may still be open, I'm not sure. I don't want to leave her hanging out to dry, but I don't want to be smothered here anymore. WHAT TO DO??? :( This sucks.
I love Neal for challenging me, though. He's very gentle, but he gets his point across and I really see the love he has for me when he does things like this, thinks about me like he does :) We shall see, my friends. Advice is thoroughly welcome - prayers as well!