So. I’ve decided not to publish the article on hockey fandom. Instead we’ll be publishing a much narrower, shorter piece on lockout-related internet memes
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I'm glad you've reconsidered and are starting to stare down numbers 5 and 6 of your journalistic ethics post, but let's just say angry and bewildered doesn't really cover my reaction. I laughed my face off at your 1D fandom post and the ensuing reaction, but it hasn't been funny now that the shoe's on the foot of my fandom/me, so I'm going to own my hypocrisy on that front. I actually feel weirdly betrayed (too strong a word, maybe, but it's the closest one) by all of this - that it took hockey fandom uniting for the first time basically ever to hammer "the fourth fucking wall exists for a reason!" home to you.
RPS is a dicey area for a lot of people. I don't want exposure to anyone beyond the people I intend/people actively looking for it, yet I understand that as part of having public links, it's a possibility. But we're obviously not in any hurry to speed that day along. We're still pretty insulated in our public spaces and we like it that way. I was on spotty hotel internet reading horrified emails from several authors/friends in this fandom last night, and none of us were remotely on board with this, and I'm angry you managed to upset this many people, myself included.
I expect others outside the fandom to write about fandom in ways I don't like or approve of or agree with. I don't expect someone with your kind of fannish experience, who is being told that hey, people have problems with being talked about at all, steamrollering over people. And yet--that's what I kept seeing. I don't expect you, with a twitter under your real name and a locked twitter for your fannish fun to not think about these problems ahead of time and maybe approach something like this with some better empathy and sensitivity. This lockout has taken its toll on an already small fandom with its own issues and we didn't need yet another shitty thing to happen right about now.
I think the big difference between the 1D and hockey fandoms is that 1D never really had a wall to begin with. The tin-hatters were very forceful in there interaction with that band and bringing it to their attention via Facebook/twitter/tumblr. But hockey rpf is very firmly behind that wall and NOT widely known, which makes something like this more than potentially harmful to the fandom participants.
Feeling betrayed, that's understandable when the strife started from someone who has been and is still a staple in many fandoms. I feel uneasy about the whole thing, but I feel we were lucky that it was Aja writing for Daily Dot and not a sportswriter composing a mocking article in a serious sports outlet. It might have taken her a bit to realize what she was actually putting people through, but once she took a step back and took in the bigger picture, she dropped the story. She is taking responsibility. That would not have happened with any other columnist or journalist. They would have done it any way.
I do agree with your first point - that there's definitely more people taking their wares to the front door, so to speak, in 1D. Hockey fandom's been a mix of people who lock and people who don't but we've been consistently on the page that says streams should not be crossing. I sometimes randomize links to anything that I feel could do a trackback to something they don't need to be seeing; I know plenty of others who do the same. This enforced "behind the veil" session took a toll; a fandom I'm very emotionally invested in is paying a cost. I don't appreciate it.
I feel the exact opposite on your second paragraph - I don't feel lucky at all, because I don't agree with this underlying assumption that it's all inevitable (the screencaps in that initial post Aja made only really show a kind of unfamiliarity with how google works), and I certainly don't agree with the notion that I should be grateful that it's a familiar face that's taking it upon themselves to force the issue along. A friend of mine put it this way - YOU LIVE IN A BAD NEIGHBOURHOOD, SO YOU MIGHT GET SHOT AT SOME POINT, WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER IF I, AS YOUR FRIEND, SHOT YOU FIRST.
...excessive metaphor is excessive, but I agree with the heart of it. Like I initially said - I'm glad Aja changed her mind. But the fallout so far in my fandom hasn't exactly been pleasant to watch, so at this point, it doesn't exactly matter to me. The repercussions I'm seeing are as though she'd written the damn thing.
Oh, goodness no. I didn't mean to sound like you should be grateful. If anything it makes it more painful because it was a familiar face/name. I'm hoping the repercussions aren't long lasting. I'd only just started getting a feel for this fandom before this whole thing exploded, so I'm hoping it will regain its footing quickly. But I'll have to wait a while after the dust has settled.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I upset you. I'm sorry that I handled this badly and didn't treat the concerns of the fandom sensitively enough. I've said I will not be publishing the article. I hope you will accept my apology.
If I can, some clarification: - My public Twitter is openly fannish--it's just not *only* fandom. My locked Twitter existed originally as purely for Inception fandom only. Now it is still Inception fandom only, but it also functions at least partially as a place where I can vent about my real life to friends if needed, because LJ no longer fulfills that function. I have never intended my locked twitter to be taken as some kind of separation of my fandom life from my public life. My private twitter specifies "Inception fandom" specifically. If the distinction between that and "fandm in general" is getting blurred, that can easily be solved. But it's a minor, semantic detail that attaches to what you're really saying, which is simply that I should know better.
- I have had a very long time to live with my real name being permanently attached to my fandom persona and activities, and I know exactly how scary the breaking of the fourth wall is. but it's because i have had so many personal experiences with the breaking of the fourth wall in traumatic ways (i had the mailing list i moderated deleted overnight because of it, i had my fic personally threatened with a takedown directive from the WB because of it, i lost my job, i had my real name outed without my permission, you name it, i have experienced it) that i feel so strongly that the fourth wall won't protect any of us, ever. You say that it took the whole hockey fandom to hammer home that the fourth wall exists for a reason. But I'm a reporter. Breaking the fourth wall is now my livelihood. You cannot ask me to feel any differently about this. All I can do is try to act in ways that don't hurt the trust of the fandoms I'm writing about. And that's what I'm trying to do.
I know that I've been accused of "steamrolling" over people, but in my defense, I started planning this article 2 weeks ago. I announced it to Tumblr 2 weeks ago, I asked for fandom input, I wrote the non-slash-related parts, I got several fans to talk to me. I didn't link (in the article as it was being written) anything fannish without permission. When controversy started I respected the wishes of fans who asked not to be quoted, and I posted to tell people that my article didn't focus on RPF. In terms of actual interaction, all I did was ask imp and one of her commenters not to take down their fic, and post the outline of the article so that people could see that the article didn't focus on RPF. I made the decision not to run the article less than 24 hours after controversy over it started. I'm asking, honestly: what do you think I could have done differently?
And what, if anything, can I do now to make things better?
I understand that you're upset, and I do, I very much respect your reasons for being so. But please also understand that it's extremely painful for me as well, to know that I've angered so many people, including people I respect, like you, just for trying to do my job with integrity.
"My private twitter specifies "Inception fandom" specifically."
Your dreamwidth intro post still says "[twitter.com profile] mmmarthur for fandom; [twitter.com profile] ajaromano for everything else and in-between".
maybe she just hasn't updated it in a bit? maybe she's more active in inception fandom than any other fandom so most of her fandom ramblings happen in mmmarthur? cut her a break, she makes mistakes, stop picking at everything she does.
At the end of the day, it boils down to this: I don't buy into the premise that breaking the fourth wall is now your livelihood.
I understood the chronology of the article - that you'd asked for input, etc. And I guess I even understand on one part of it - that it's your job. But I don't understand your reaction to our reactions and I don't think this is something that ever should have come up as a viable topic to even write about. At all.
And that's where I can't bridge your gap on what you could've done differently, because I truly can't wrap my head around you thinking there'd be any reaction other than this appalled state of things, or that you'd think people would...empathize? With this being your job now. You're right though - I can't ask you to feel differently.
I wish you the best in your professional pursuits, Aja.
RPS is a dicey area for a lot of people. I don't want exposure to anyone beyond the people I intend/people actively looking for it, yet I understand that as part of having public links, it's a possibility. But we're obviously not in any hurry to speed that day along. We're still pretty insulated in our public spaces and we like it that way. I was on spotty hotel internet reading horrified emails from several authors/friends in this fandom last night, and none of us were remotely on board with this, and I'm angry you managed to upset this many people, myself included.
I expect others outside the fandom to write about fandom in ways I don't like or approve of or agree with. I don't expect someone with your kind of fannish experience, who is being told that hey, people have problems with being talked about at all, steamrollering over people. And yet--that's what I kept seeing. I don't expect you, with a twitter under your real name and a locked twitter for your fannish fun to not think about these problems ahead of time and maybe approach something like this with some better empathy and sensitivity. This lockout has taken its toll on an already small fandom with its own issues and we didn't need yet another shitty thing to happen right about now.
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Feeling betrayed, that's understandable when the strife started from someone who has been and is still a staple in many fandoms. I feel uneasy about the whole thing, but I feel we were lucky that it was Aja writing for Daily Dot and not a sportswriter composing a mocking article in a serious sports outlet. It might have taken her a bit to realize what she was actually putting people through, but once she took a step back and took in the bigger picture, she dropped the story. She is taking responsibility. That would not have happened with any other columnist or journalist. They would have done it any way.
Reply
I feel the exact opposite on your second paragraph - I don't feel lucky at all, because I don't agree with this underlying assumption that it's all inevitable (the screencaps in that initial post Aja made only really show a kind of unfamiliarity with how google works), and I certainly don't agree with the notion that I should be grateful that it's a familiar face that's taking it upon themselves to force the issue along. A friend of mine put it this way - YOU LIVE IN A BAD NEIGHBOURHOOD, SO YOU MIGHT GET SHOT AT SOME POINT, WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER IF I, AS YOUR FRIEND, SHOT YOU FIRST.
...excessive metaphor is excessive, but I agree with the heart of it. Like I initially said - I'm glad Aja changed her mind. But the fallout so far in my fandom hasn't exactly been pleasant to watch, so at this point, it doesn't exactly matter to me. The repercussions I'm seeing are as though she'd written the damn thing.
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I'm sorry. I'm sorry I upset you. I'm sorry that I handled this badly and didn't treat the concerns of the fandom sensitively enough. I've said I will not be publishing the article. I hope you will accept my apology.
If I can, some clarification:
- My public Twitter is openly fannish--it's just not *only* fandom. My locked Twitter existed originally as purely for Inception fandom only. Now it is still Inception fandom only, but it also functions at least partially as a place where I can vent about my real life to friends if needed, because LJ no longer fulfills that function. I have never intended my locked twitter to be taken as some kind of separation of my fandom life from my public life. My private twitter specifies "Inception fandom" specifically. If the distinction between that and "fandm in general" is getting blurred, that can easily be solved. But it's a minor, semantic detail that attaches to what you're really saying, which is simply that I should know better.
- I have had a very long time to live with my real name being permanently attached to my fandom persona and activities, and I know exactly how scary the breaking of the fourth wall is. but it's because i have had so many personal experiences with the breaking of the fourth wall in traumatic ways (i had the mailing list i moderated deleted overnight because of it, i had my fic personally threatened with a takedown directive from the WB because of it, i lost my job, i had my real name outed without my permission, you name it, i have experienced it) that i feel so strongly that the fourth wall won't protect any of us, ever. You say that it took the whole hockey fandom to hammer home that the fourth wall exists for a reason. But I'm a reporter. Breaking the fourth wall is now my livelihood. You cannot ask me to feel any differently about this. All I can do is try to act in ways that don't hurt the trust of the fandoms I'm writing about. And that's what I'm trying to do.
I know that I've been accused of "steamrolling" over people, but in my defense, I started planning this article 2 weeks ago. I announced it to Tumblr 2 weeks ago, I asked for fandom input, I wrote the non-slash-related parts, I got several fans to talk to me. I didn't link (in the article as it was being written) anything fannish without permission. When controversy started I respected the wishes of fans who asked not to be quoted, and I posted to tell people that my article didn't focus on RPF. In terms of actual interaction, all I did was ask imp and one of her commenters not to take down their fic, and post the outline of the article so that people could see that the article didn't focus on RPF. I made the decision not to run the article less than 24 hours after controversy over it started. I'm asking, honestly: what do you think I could have done differently?
And what, if anything, can I do now to make things better?
I understand that you're upset, and I do, I very much respect your reasons for being so. But please also understand that it's extremely painful for me as well, to know that I've angered so many people, including people I respect, like you, just for trying to do my job with integrity.
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Your dreamwidth intro post still says "[twitter.com profile] mmmarthur for fandom; [twitter.com profile] ajaromano for everything else and in-between".
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maybe she just hasn't updated it in a bit? maybe she's more active in inception fandom than any other fandom so most of her fandom ramblings happen in mmmarthur? cut her a break, she makes mistakes, stop picking at everything she does.
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I understood the chronology of the article - that you'd asked for input, etc. And I guess I even understand on one part of it - that it's your job. But I don't understand your reaction to our reactions and I don't think this is something that ever should have come up as a viable topic to even write about. At all.
And that's where I can't bridge your gap on what you could've done differently, because I truly can't wrap my head around you thinking there'd be any reaction other than this appalled state of things, or that you'd think people would...empathize? With this being your job now. You're right though - I can't ask you to feel differently.
I wish you the best in your professional pursuits, Aja.
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