significance
It is with a heavy heart that I return to this, my journal. Much has changed over the time since I started this journal. Who knows where I will be if, and when, this journal comes to an end. Regardless, for now, I am in Los Angeles and I am....not happy. I moved out here in the pursuit of happiness. I am not sure what I was expecting. For some reason I thought that everything would be happy and wonderful once I got out here. Yet, life once again maintains its mystery. Happiness remains elusive.
I am unsure as to my motivation in returning to this journal. I simply needed a place to vent, and I suppose this has a semblance of familiarity that helps me feel comforted in the bleak times. Many of my illusions have been recently shattered. I do not feel a driving purpose, and, at worst, feel mainly purposeless. How, in an infinite universe, could my existence possibly have any significance? It is a question that humanity has struggled with since the beginning and have pandered to and softened, but never answered.
What possible significance could we have?
I suppose I should focus on nearer and dearer things. Or just more relevant. I need a new job. I have 2 degrees, over 8 years of office management experience and I work retail. as a sales associate. and I get looked down upon for doing so.
I hate it.
I hate being belittled, looked down upon, or sympathized for because of my job. I am trying to pay the bills. My job does NOT mean that I am stupid, incapable, or incompetent.
Yet, I cannot help but feel that way since every other position seems to be slipping through my fingers.
hmmm. I might need help.
I am unsure as to my motivation in returning to this journal. I simply needed a place to vent, and I suppose this has a semblance of familiarity that helps me feel comforted in the bleak times. Many of my illusions have been recently shattered. I do not feel a driving purpose, and, at worst, feel mainly purposeless. How, in an infinite universe, could my existence possibly have any significance? It is a question that humanity has struggled with since the beginning and have pandered to and softened, but never answered.
What possible significance could we have?
I suppose I should focus on nearer and dearer things. Or just more relevant. I need a new job. I have 2 degrees, over 8 years of office management experience and I work retail. as a sales associate. and I get looked down upon for doing so.
I hate it.
I hate being belittled, looked down upon, or sympathized for because of my job. I am trying to pay the bills. My job does NOT mean that I am stupid, incapable, or incompetent.
Yet, I cannot help but feel that way since every other position seems to be slipping through my fingers.
hmmm. I might need help.