labyrinth of the year (part one, the body)
In my tradition, the year ends at Samhain and starts at Yule. The "fallow time" in between is a good time to evaluate the year and think about what you want to bring into your life for the next year.
I also like the idea of knowing where you are and where you want to go. For example, last year at this time, I joined the gym. I was going with the intention of developing a good habit, of finding a way to enjoy my experiences with my body, and to get stronger. I also emphatically stated I was not going to the gym to lose weight. Which was both true and untrue. I *wanted* to lose weight, but I didn't want to judge myself if I didn't lose weight. I also don't want to live a life that's about numbers. I did a quiet version of freaking out when I did lose weight. Only ten pounds, but it is really hard for me to deal with.
I think this year I need to be more honest. I *do* want to lose weight. I don't want to freak out about it. Maybe baby steps will work.
Last year about this time, I cut my hair pretty short. I felt stronger, more powerful, but not pretty or sexy. Now, I'm trying to grow my hair out, and it's a frustrating experience. I keep wanting to go back to short hair. I *liked* not having to think about my hair. I also prefer the way I look with longer hair. Maybe I should give my hair growing out one year, like I did with the gym. See how it goes, and don't beat myself up for days that don't go well. My hair is grayer, which I like.
This last year, I also started wearing make up. Mineral make up, which solved all of my complaints about make up and actually improved my skin. I currently own more make up than I have in the rest of my life put together. It's a scary thought, because so much of my self definition was about not wearing make up.
My back is still messed up from the accident, so that's another thing I need to work on in the coming year.
Over all, what I like best about this last year for my body is that I stuck to going to the gym. What I'd like to do better next year, is be willing to try scary things. And by "try" I mean, really give it several months, not just do it once, feel uncomfortable and stop. Heck, sometimes I'm still scared to go to the gym, but I still go and over all I enjoy the experience.
I also like the idea of knowing where you are and where you want to go. For example, last year at this time, I joined the gym. I was going with the intention of developing a good habit, of finding a way to enjoy my experiences with my body, and to get stronger. I also emphatically stated I was not going to the gym to lose weight. Which was both true and untrue. I *wanted* to lose weight, but I didn't want to judge myself if I didn't lose weight. I also don't want to live a life that's about numbers. I did a quiet version of freaking out when I did lose weight. Only ten pounds, but it is really hard for me to deal with.
I think this year I need to be more honest. I *do* want to lose weight. I don't want to freak out about it. Maybe baby steps will work.
Last year about this time, I cut my hair pretty short. I felt stronger, more powerful, but not pretty or sexy. Now, I'm trying to grow my hair out, and it's a frustrating experience. I keep wanting to go back to short hair. I *liked* not having to think about my hair. I also prefer the way I look with longer hair. Maybe I should give my hair growing out one year, like I did with the gym. See how it goes, and don't beat myself up for days that don't go well. My hair is grayer, which I like.
This last year, I also started wearing make up. Mineral make up, which solved all of my complaints about make up and actually improved my skin. I currently own more make up than I have in the rest of my life put together. It's a scary thought, because so much of my self definition was about not wearing make up.
My back is still messed up from the accident, so that's another thing I need to work on in the coming year.
Over all, what I like best about this last year for my body is that I stuck to going to the gym. What I'd like to do better next year, is be willing to try scary things. And by "try" I mean, really give it several months, not just do it once, feel uncomfortable and stop. Heck, sometimes I'm still scared to go to the gym, but I still go and over all I enjoy the experience.