Fire and Ice - Chapter 32
The first part of this chapter was supposed to be the end of the previous chapter, but LJ said it was too long.
Also…this chapter was too long too, so I will continue it in chapter 33.
A few days later…
Jack awoke with a smile on his face, as he had every day since Ennis had called him. Today was going to be the best day in months: today was the day Ennis found out from his doctor when he could fly home to Cooper Bay.
Jack could barely contain his excitement. Add to that, the playoff series against Asheville was going well; the second game was tonight and Cooper Bay had won the first one, aided by Jack’s one goal and two assists. Even the Asheville paper had admitted that right now, Jack Twist was red hot and almost impossible to stop. He laughed at the description; if anyone had any idea what his inspiration truly was, they’d kick him right out of the game he loved.
And he didn’t care.
He set about cleaning the house and preparing for Ennis’s arrival. Ennis was still on crutches, so Jack put everything away that would be an obstruction. He made a baked ziti and put it in the freezer so they could eat it whenever it was convenient, and he was finally able to enter Ennis’s room again so he could clean and make it ready for him.
He just wished he could hear what the doctor said to Ennis before his game, but it couldn’t be helped. Ennis’s appointment was for 4pm Mountain time, which made it 6 pm Jack’s time and he would already be at the arena preparing for the game, and all phones were to be turned off in the locker room. There was no way to hear from Ennis until after the game was over, but Jack had instructed him to let him know as soon as possible either by text or voice mail. He even considered somehow sneaking into the bathroom between periods so he could check it, but with his luck he’d get caught. Besides, he almost didn’t want to hear it on his messages or read it on a text; he wanted to hear it in Ennis’s own voice that he was coming home, and soon.
Jack tried to tell himself not to get his hopes up, though. Over the past few days he and Ennis had talked a lot, and Ennis had told him that he had done a lot of thinking and he wanted to be with Jack more than anything, even more than he’d wanted to play hockey. He admitted that he had made that decision before he’d tripped over the dog and hurt his knee again; he didn’t want Jack to think that since he’d been forced to give up hockey that that was his reason to give him another go. He needed him to know that he wanted him, not because he was second choice to hockey. Jack knew that wasn’t the case; he could hear in Ennis’s voice that he was a changed man. When he told Jack that he had come out to his family and even to Anne-Marie, Jack was stunned-but he knew this was the real deal. If Ennis had done all that, then Jack truly believed him and wanted to support him, and despite all that had gone on between them, he took Ennis back.
They talked for hours about their fears and their futures. Jack listened patiently, because Ennis seemed to have a new outlook and Jack wanted to hear all about it. For whatever reason, Ennis had changed, and Jack was excited to be the recipient of his new feelings.
Still, a small part of Jack remained guarded. Ennis’s history required a bit of self-preservation, and Jack couldn’t help that. It hurt, but it was necessary. He knew Ennis might talk a good game but his actions would speak louder than his words, and all Jack could do was give him time to prove himself.
Finally Jack finished cleaning up, his eyes on the clock the whole time. He called Ennis once but got his voice mail, so he just left a quick message, hung up, and jumped in the shower.
Tonight after the game he’d finally find out when his life was going to begin again.
Chapter 32
The cheers and energy poured off the crowd onto the players as Cooper Bay led Asheville 3-1 in the first period.
Jack played like a man on fire; he was unstoppable. He felt powerful and invincible, skating with speed and determination and scoring goals so easily it was like breathing. And once again he had to smile to himself: if anyone knew the real reason he was so happy, they’d kick him out of hockey-and he honestly couldn’t care less.
His thoughts were consumed with one thing: Ennis was coming home tomorrow.
He thought back to the other night, when Ennis had called him and left a voice mail and a text during the game. Jack showered as quickly as he could and then nearly ran outside to check his phone; when he saw he had two messages from Ennis he didn’t even take the time to listen, he just called him. Ennis happily told him that he had gotten clearance from his doctor, although he would have to see Dr. Hudson for follow-up care, and that he would fly home on Thursday.
Jack was so happy, he could barely contain himself. He barely slept that night after talking to him; he lay in bed staring at the ceiling with a stupid smile on his face, thrilled that Ennis was finally coming back, and sleep was elusive. Normally after a game Jack would be exhausted, but his euphoria kept him awake and finally he took himself in hand and jerked off, knowing that it would probably be the last time he’d have to do that alone. That was enough to make him happy, and the smile stayed on his face even when he fell asleep that night.
On the bench, though, Jack had to shake himself from his Ennis-reverie and concentrate on the game. No time to think about that now, he told himself. Do what you gotta do now. Tomorrow will come soon enough.
***
Ennis stared out the window as he flew east. He was in first class because he needed room for his foam-casted leg to stretch out, and he had to admit it would be hard to fly coach after this. First class was a huge shock for a simple country boy like him, but he grinned to himself, thinking it was something he could get used to. And he thought about how much Jack would like it. He smiled hugely, proud of himself for surprising Jack. He hadn’t liked lying to him on the phone, but he had been thinking for a week about surprising Jack and getting home a day early, and he had to admit that he was happy about being able to fool Jack and make him think he was coming on Thursday, when in reality he was flying in the day before, on Wednesday.
What he hadn’t counted on was getting delayed in Chicago. His connecting flight was coming from Seattle and it was delayed due to a mechanical problem. Ennis had stewed about it, but the airline folks had said that there was nothing they could do so he just had to bear it, knowing the part of his plan about arriving before Jack left for the game had to be scrapped. He realized, though, that he could go straight to the rink via cab and it would be even better to surprise him at the game. That would be the last place Jack would ever expect to see him. He smiled, feeling his plan was still perfectly in place. He checked his watch and noted that he’d be on the ground and in a cab within an hour. He couldn’t wait to see Jack’s face.
***
High up in the stands on the third level sat Brady McKay.
On a whim, he’d driven down to see Jack, hoping they could hook up after the game. Jack hadn’t been quite as interested lately, but Brady figured that was because he was distracted with playing Asheville. Brady grinned to himself. He might be distracted, but I’ve got eight inches to bring to his attention, and it damn well better work!
Brady had missed Jack in the short time they’d been apart. He knew it was stupid to feel so strongly about someone so soon, but he was powerless in the presence of Jack Twist. He’d had no idea Jack was gay, and when he’d walked into the bar that night, Brady had almost dropped his drink. His first thought had been, oh my God, my dreams have come true, Twist is gay! Then reason got a hold of him and he thought, I bet he doesn’t realize this is a gay bar. He thought about going over and telling him, but when he saw Jack taking surreptitious glances around the room, Brady realized that Jack was exactly where he wanted to be. That’s when he called the bartender over and sent Jack the drink. He almost laughed out loud when the bartender pointed him out and Jack’s jaw literally fell open; he watched Jack hesitate and consider his options, and he nearly got hard when he saw Jack walking over. As far as Brady was concerned, at that point it was a done deal; he would have Jack in his bed that night, come hell or high water. He even decided he’d bottom if that’s what that hot piece of ass wanted; Brady hadn’t bottomed since he was a teenager but if that’s what Twist wanted, that’s what he’d get. He wasn’t going to let a little thing like positioning get in the way of having sex with Jack Twist. But tonight…oh, tonight Mr. Twist was going to be begging for Brady to fuck him in the ass, and Brady couldn’t wait. He’d even had to pull over once on the drive down and take care of business; he’d been fantasizing so much about Jack that he’d gotten painfully hard and had to relieve the pressure. It hadn’t taken long, as Brady had known it wouldn’t. Almost every time Brady thought about Jack, he got hard as a rock. He hadn’t beat off this much in months.
He still kicked himself about bringing up del Mar in their first time together. He wished now that he’d just kept his mouth shut and never said anything about him. He might’ve been able to convince Jack to just forget about him and concentrate on the here and now, and Brady was definitely here and ready to go now, anytime Jack wanted him. But, it did afford Brady an ‘in’ with Jack; Jack seemed to feel safe with him because he listened to and counseled Jack about Ennis, and he’d noticed that lately Jack spoke less and less about him. Brady was thrilled; even though it seemed Jack had pulled away a little bit, he rarely mentioned Ennis anymore and Brady thought Jack’s hesitation had everything to do with the playoffs and nothing to do with him or del Mar.
That’s why he’d decided to drive down to Cooper Bay. Just like in the bar, Jack would be surprised to see him, and Brady hoped that he wouldn’t be callous enough to send him away. It had been a helluva long drive, and he was tired. Luckily, no one at the rink recognized him. He paid for his ticket like any other fan and sat alone in the nosebleed seats, drinking a beer and eating a hot dog, but unable to take his eyes off #19 who seemed to be all over the ice, directing traffic and scoring goals, leading his team like the Jack Twist of old. Brady wiped his mouth of food and reached into his pocket for a stick of gum. He didn’t want to have bad breath when he kissed Jack later that night. He thought about the packed bag in the back seat of his car and hoped that he hadn’t been too presumptuous in thinking that Jack might ask him to stay for a day or two. He smiled to himself. Of course he’ll ask, Brady decided. And later tonight, I’m gonna show him a few reasons why he made the right decision. When I’m done with him he’ll never want me to leave, and Ennis del Mar will just fade away like a bad memory. Watch out, Jack-you might just fall in love with me.
***
“Fuck, boy-you’re on fire!”
Jack smiled widely at Pierre, who tapped Jack’s shin pads with his stick as they skated back to the box.
Jeff skated up and patted him on the top of his helmet with his big gloved hand. “That’s my boy! You’re back!”
Jack grinned at him and heard the cheers rain down from the crowd. It was early in the second period and Jack had just scored his second goal, and to add to that he also had an assist, for three points in the game.
The three of them climbed into the box and sat down, but Jack couldn’t sit still. He was vibrating with energy and couldn’t stop.
“Thinkin’ about tomorrow?” asked Jeff quietly.
Jack nodded. “Yeah. I mean-fuck all this shit. I’m just stoked about that.”
Jeff smiled. “Well, keep playing like this and everyone else is gonna be stoked too.” He thumped his shoulder into Jack’s. “You really stepped it up. Good job.”
Jack turned halfway and ran his hand over Jeff’s sweaty head. “Couldn’t let my captain down, could I?”
“Better not. I’ll kick your ass.” They both laughed.
***
The cab pulled up to the curb at the rink, Ennis paid the driver, and then got security at the players’ entrance to get his bags and golf-cart him inside the arena to the locker room so he wouldn’t have to go so far on his crutches.
He thanked Charlie, the driver, and hobbled into the locker room. The stale smells of sweat, old tape, wet carpet and Icy-Hot liniment assailed his nostrils, and he grinned at the familiarity of it. He looked around the room and his eyes lit on Jack’s locker. He made his way over to it and, just like Jack, everything was neat and in its place. He looked around and didn’t see anyone, so he leaned forward and put his nose up to Jack’s shirt that hung there. He could smell him-Jack, his lover-on the shirt, and he took a deep breath, knowing that in about an hour or so he’d be smelling the real thing.
“Well, look who’s back,” came a voice, and Ennis whirled around.
There stood Todd, the 20-year-old stick boy, who handled the team’s equipment and made sure the sticks were out on the ice for games. He didn’t look or sound happy to see Ennis, and Ennis realized he’d never paid much attention to the young man. He seemed grumpy-almost angry-and Ennis felt his neck hairs stand up.
“Hey Todd,” he said in a friendly voice. “What’s goin’ on?”
“Not much. Just came in to get a new mouth guard for Neely. He practically bit his in half.” Todd turned away, to Blair’s locker, and Ennis could feel the tension rising off him. “What are you doing here?”
“Just came back to see the game,” Ennis said lightly.
“Really. So you get that present I left for you and your boyfriend?”
Ennis tensed up. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, I think you do, faggot,” Todd bristled, flipping Blair’s mouth guard in his hand, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “The picture from the paper, that I left in your locker. You remember that?”
“Oh yeah,” said Ennis firmly, his head held high, not wanting the boy to see his reaction to the slur. “Now I remember.” It was Todd, this kid I barely know? Ennis remained on guard, not knowing what Todd was up to.
“I saw you two at Target one day, walking down the aisle, talking all close together. God, you fags make me sick. You might as well have been having sex in the kids’ section.”
It was Ennis’s turn to bristle. “I thought kids these days were supposed to be tolerant and sensitive.”
“Fuck that,” snorted Todd. “I hate homos. It’s that simple. You guys make me want to throw up.”
“At this moment I can say that I know exactly how you feel,” Ennis snapped, “because people like you make me sick too. I don’t know where you learned to hate so much, but it’s not a very nice quality.”
“Fuck nice,” Todd sneered. “I could care less.”
“Maybe you should care more.”
“Maybe I should tell everyone what you and Jack ‘Twisted’ really are-a couple of cock-sucking fags. I bet the Hockey News and ESPN would love that,” Todd mused. “I wonder how much they’d pay me to out a couple of fairies?”
Ennis curled his lip and bit back the urge to throw aside his crutches and beat the living shit out of the misguided young man in front of him. “Well, you know what? Call ‘em. Tell ‘em. I’ll even look up the number for you.” He stepped up to Todd, crutches and all, and got right in his face. “Just remember Todd, what goes around, comes around. One day you’re gonna piss off the wrong person and this shit will all come back on you, and you’re gonna wish you’d never been born.”
“I already do,” he retorted, his eyes full of hate.
Ennis chuckled bitterly, looking down at the 5 foot, 9 inch kid. “I feel sorry for you. How does that make you feel-that a pathetic, cock-sucking homo feels sorry for you, because he has a better life than you do?”
Todd still radiated hate and tension, but said nothing.
“Hmm,” Ennis replied, turning away, “no big words now, eh? That’s what I thought. Get out of my way.” Ennis pushed past him and got out of the room as fast as his crutches would carry him. He got out in the hallway where he could take a deep breath, and he realized that it was true-that he had a better life than Todd would ever have, because he was no longer consumed with shame and fear about what he was; he had accepted it and moved on, and he wasn’t the worse for wear. And he also realized that even if Todd did out them, Ennis didn’t care. He was done with hockey, but he’d always have Jack.
***
Ennis hung back in the tunnel. He wanted to watch the game, but he knew that once the fans spotted him, he’d have no chance to keep himself secret.
He saw Todd walk past him and go back out to the bench but he ignored him and Todd did likewise. Ennis was pretty sure Todd would follow up his stupid stunt with another, and only then would Ennis make an issue of it. He thought as long as he could keep it a secret from Jack then Todd might just fade away into the ether and Ennis wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.
Ennis felt euphoric being back in the rink; the energy from the fans was invigorating and he missed that in the months he’d been gone. The cheers rose up and washed over him, and little by little he inched his way forward until he could peer up at the scoreboard and see that Cooper Bay was leading Asheville 6-2. He caught a glimpse of Jack whizzing past him on the ice, and he grinned, knowing how surprised Jack would be when he realized he was back a day early.
Ennis decided to chance it and head to the Cooper Bay bench. He made his way up the three little stairs into the stands and glanced out to the ice, where he saw Jeff, Jack and Blair attacking the Asheville net, and suddenly he heard a buzz from the seats.
“Ennis! Good to see you back!” called one fan.
He turned and smiled.
“Hey, it’s del Mar!”
“Hey man! What’s up with your knee?” asked one young man. “I thought you got it fixed.”
“I injured it again,” he answered sheepishly.
“You coming back next year?” asked a teenage girl.
“I don’t know yet,” he lied.
“Ennis!” called a couple more fans a few rows up. “We miss you!”
“Miss you guys too,” he called back. “You guys are the best fans in the world.”
Everyone in the vicinity clapped and cheered.
As Ennis made his way to the box, cheers around the rink rose up and suddenly a huge wave of noise erupted as a siren went off, signaling another Cooper Bay goal. Ennis turned to see Jack raising his arms in the air, signaling that he had scored, and Ennis was elated. This night, despite Todd and the delayed flight, was going even better than he expected.
***
Brady watched with pride as Jack scored his third goal and fifth point of the game. He felt ecstatic for Jack and also for himself. I’m the luckiest guy here, he thought excitedly, because I get to go to bed with Jack Twist tonight.
***
Jack couldn’t believe it-he’d scored a hat trick, his first in many months. His Tornado teammates surrounded him on the ice, tapping his helmet and slapping his shoulders and chest in congratulations. The crowd was going insane as the announcer came on the PA and proclaimed Jack’s goal, with assists to Blair and Bobby Murray.
As Jack and the other guys started skating back to the bench, the PA announcer continued on. “Ladies and gentlemen, Tornadoes fans of all ages-we have a special guest with us tonight. Please direct your attention to the Tornadoes’ bench and welcome back a very important part of our team-defenseman Ennis del Mar!”
The whole arena erupted in cheers and applause, and yet, everything in Jack’s vicinity melted away. He looked up and there stood Ennis, propped up by his crutches, waving to the fans and shaking hands over the Plexiglas that surrounded the bench. Ennis turned back to the ice and his eyes found Jack, standing almost still, his jaw dropped open in surprise and shock. He gave a little wave to Jack, who, in his dumbfounded state, could only wave back numbly. All he could think was, oh my God, Ennis is here. He’s really here.
***
Brady watched, his nerves on fire, as Jack celebrated his hat trick with his teammates. He was so happy for Jack, and he was happy for himself, knowing that Jack would be in a wonderful mood after the game and he would get to experience that euphoria with Jack-hopefully in bed.
He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and hid his smile behind his clenched hands. Volts of happy energy careened through his body-until the PA announcer kept going and Brady looked down at the Tornadoes’ bench and saw his foe, Ennis del Mar.
If it was possible to go from forwards at 120 miles per hour to backwards at 10, that’s how Brady felt. His mood shattered, he slumped back into his seat and stared into space. He watched as Ennis drank in the cheers, and sat stunned as Jack skated toward the box, stepped in and, instead of sitting down, hugged Ennis, as the crowd went wild.
Brady’s mouth stiffened into a grim line, and he rubbed his mouth with his hand, not knowing what to do or what to think. He felt like he’d just been shot in the heart and all his life was seeping out of him. Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why now? Why’d he have to come back and ruin everything?
Brady’s thoughts whirled around in his head. He pondered the possibility that Ennis had hurt Jack so much that he wouldn’t forgive him; then he remembered his first night with Jack and how he had nearly broken down crying over the loss of Ennis. He’ll take him back, mused Brady, especially if that hug on the bench was any indication. A little part of him held out hope, though; he knew he and Jack, although ten years apart in age, were a good match. He sat forward again and looked down at the bench; the players’ backs were to him, and he saw the guys moving around. Ennis stood behind the players with the coaches, but Brady noticed that his hand rested on Jack’s shoulder pads and he made no effort to hide or move it.
I’m fucked, thought Brady. I can’t compete with that.
But stubbornly he wouldn’t give up hope. Maybe Jack will talk to him and he’ll see that Ennis will pull his same paranoid shit and piss him off again. I still have a chance…maybe. Jack likes me-I know he does. And he knows I don’t care about being outed. If he retires, like he says he wants to, maybe I can get him to move to Michiwaga with me. If I can get him away from del Mar, I might still have a chance. And I can’t see them still living together if they’ve broken up. How sick would that be?
Brady slumped back in his seat again, nearly fighting back tears. This fucking sucks. Why can’t I get what I want for once? Fuckin’ Ennis del Mar. You asshole! You leave Jack, you fuck him over time and time again, and I put him back together-and here you come, ready to swoop in and sweep him off his feet. You fucking dick. I do all the work and you get all the credit? Fuck this shit. Fuck you.
TBC…