Fire and Ice - Chapter 30

[booklovergirl]

Pairing: Ennis/Jack

Setting: AU/AU

Rating: NC-17 for the whole story

Disclaimer: The characters of Ennis and Jack belong to the fabulously talented Annie Proulx. No disrespect is intended. Any OCs are mine.

Summary: Ennis del Mar is a defenseman and Jack Twist a left wing on a minor-league hockey team who meet when Ennis is assigned to Jack’s team.

Feedback: Yes, please. Always welcome.

Warnings: M/m smex, drinking, homophobia, foul language, angst, injuries, more smex, and occasionally some hockey thrown in. 
Thanks to: Fizzerbass, rmina, bcatjr, samtyr, CYNICAL21 and baileymoyes-you all rock!

Special Awards and Recognition to the Best Little Wannabe Zamboni Driver out there-Heidi.

J If you ask Mike nicely, he might let you ride the Zam with Mu-tang.

Dedicated to: former NHLer John Kordic. Miss you, buddy.

Chapter 30

A week later…

“Hey pal, how ya feeling?”

Ennis heard his father’s voice as he came out of the anesthesia. “Thirsty,” he replied through a dry mouth, and suddenly a Styrofoam cup with a straw appeared in front of him, and he drank greedily.

“Just sip it, honey,” came his mother’s voice.

Ennis’s eyes opened slowly and he turned his head, seeing his brother and sister sitting in the room too. Karen got up when Ennis awoke more fully and came over to the bed. “Hey there, Ennie. You’re finally awake.”

He was surprised to see Karen and Kevin there, and even more surprised at Karen’s use of his childhood nickname. They’d never been close as adults; she’d often treated him with resentment and indifference, but it seemed that was about to change.

“Hey,” his voice crackled. “Who’s taking care of the ranch?”

“The hands can handle it for today,” she said. “Don’t worry about it.”

Ennis’s still-groggy brain couldn’t quite fathom why everyone was in his hospital room. “Did Brett fix my knee?”

Ennis’s father’s eyes dropped away and he stepped away from the bed. Gwen took his place and spoke to her son.

“Ennis…Brett will be by to talk to you in a little bit. He said you tore the new ACL, and he doesn’t think it can be repaired again.”

Ennis winced. “But…”

Gwen sighed. “He tried to put it back together, but he’s pretty sure it won’t hold. If that’s true, you can’t play hockey anymore.”

Ennis closed his eyes. Oh God…

“I’m sorry, sweetie. We all are. But we’re going to help you get through this.”

Ennis faded back into sleep, but only thoughts of Jack weaved their way through his muddled consciousness.

***

One week after Ennis’s surgery…

Ennis lay in bed, his knee in a foam cast as he played with his cell phone.

Call him.

Shit, this is hard.

What’s hard about it? You have him on fucking speed dial. Call him like your mom said you should.

What am I gonna say? ‘Hi Jack, it’s Ennis. Remember me?’

Don’t be stupid. Just tell him what you feel. You told your family and they were pretty cool about it. So, just tell Jack you love him and want to come home.

He said some pretty terrible stuff to me last time we talked. I don’t think he’ll want this-

Bullshit. You’re pussing out again, aren’t you? Jesus, Mary and Holy St. Joseph. When are you going to grow some balls? Telling your dad and your brother you’re gay wasn’t easy, but you did it. But now you have to tell the one person who really matters that you love him, and you can’t do it.

He might hate me. He might not even answer the phone if he sees it’s me.

Well, that’s a chance you have to take. Is not knowing better than knowing? Even if he still hates you, at least you’ll know. For all you know now, he might be missing you too.

That’s true.

And he might be just as afraid as you to take the first step. Right?

Right.

So call him.

Ennis toyed with his phone some more, then took a deep breath and dialed.

**

Jack lay in bed with Brady, running his fingers through the other man’s hair. He could hear his phone ringing in Brady’s living room, but he was reluctant to get up and answer it. He’d just had amazing sex with his ten-years-younger fuck buddy and he felt absolutely boneless, and getting out of bed wasn’t even an option.

“Could we get in trouble for this?” asked Brady sleepily.

Jack turned his head to Brady and inhaled his sweaty scent.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well,” Brady said as he turned over to face Jack, “we’re on opposing teams in the playoffs. Isn’t this like ‘fraternizing with the enemy’?”

Jack smiled down at him. “I don’t think this is like war time,” he explained.

Brady gave him a blank look.

Jack narrowed his eyes. “You do know that that’s a World War II term, right?”

Brady grinned sheepishly. “Nope. I’ve just always heard it referred to in sports terms, like not going drinking with the other team and stuff.”

Jack closed his eyes, realizing once again how young Brady was. “Why am I here?” he joked.

Brady laughed. “Because you like to fuck me,” he decided. “And I like it too.”  He kissed Jack and started moving against him. His cock was hard again and Jack liked the feel of it, but he pushed him back.

“I need to piss,” he explained, climbing out of bed.

“Was that your phone I heard earlier?” groaned Brady, and Jack nodded. “Well, tell whoever it was calling to fuck off and then come back here. I’m ready to go again.”

It was Jack’s turn to groan. The kid was insatiable. Ten minutes ago we were climaxing, and now he’s ready for another round? Damn, I can barely keep up with him. My fucking back is killing me from the game last night, and if anyone from the team knows I spent the night at his house instead of the hotel, I’m going to be in the deepest shit imaginable. Yeah, we can get in trouble for this, buddy.

Jack went into the bathroom and urinated, then went to find his pants which had ended up on the floor by the couch where their sexual debauchery had started the night before. Jack grinned to himself as he picked them up off the floor and pulled out his phone. He pressed “1” for his voice mail.

“Hi Jack,” came that familiar gruff voice. “Uh…it’s me. Ennis. Ummm…I was just wondering how you’re doing. Uh…so…I’m okay, just in case you….well, um, not so okay, eh? I hurt my knee again. Don’t know if…anyway, I was just calling…to say hey and…well, I’ll talk to you later. Um….bye. Oh…um…I…I miss ya, bud. Well, bye.”

A stunned Jack felt all the strength go out of his legs. He sat down hard on the couch and pulled the phone away from his ear, staring at it as if he were suddenly holding an alien in his hand.

Then he realized Ennis’s voice with that low wonderful rumble was in his voice mail, so he hit “4” to repeat the message. He listened to it six or seven times before a voice broke his reverie.

“Jack? You coming back to bed or do I have to come out there and get you?”

He misses me! Ennis said he misses me!

“Jack?”

Fuck. “Yeah…uh…hang on, I’m coming.”  Shit, what do I do now? Fuck, I want to call Ennis right now, and I’ve got Brady in the other room.

Jack’s mind spun like a Tilt-A-Whirl at a county fair. What do I do? I have to get out of here and call him.

Jack’s phone rang again and scared him to death. He looked at the number on the screen.

Oh fuck.

“Yeah?” he said into the phone.

“Where the hell are you?” Jeff hissed. “We have a team breakfast in twenty minutes and I just woke up!”

“Oh, fuck me!” Jack cried, panicking, grabbing for his clothes. “I’ll be there, swear to God. Shit. Fuck!”

“Hurry up!” The line went dead.

Jack tore around looking for his tie. “Brady, I gotta go- I got a team breakfast in twenty minutes back at the hotel!”

Brady stumbled, sleepy and naked, out to the living room where Jack was in a panic. “Okay,” he yawned. “Damn, I wish you could stay. I wasn’t done fucking you yet.”

Oh God, don’t start that shit, thought Jack. “Yeah, me too. But could you call me a cab?”

“No time, dude,” he mumbled, stretching his hard body but barely getting a glance from Jack. “I’ll drive you.”

“Fuck. Then drop me at the edge of the parking lot so no one sees you. Jesus, could this get any worse?”

Brady watched as Jack pulled on his clothes hurriedly, and Jack looked at him. “Get dressed!” he barked.

“Okay, Jesus, chill out.” Brady frowned and went back into his room and came back in jeans and a sweatshirt. “Let’s go.”

Brady drove him quickly back to the hotel and parked out on the street.

“So I guess a kiss goodbye is out of the question?” asked Brady.

Jack looked at him in horror.

“I was joking, Jack. Jesus, you’re all worked up over this stupid breakfast. You’re back in plenty of time. Don’t worry.”

It isn’t the breakfast I’m worked up about, thought Jack, but of course he couldn’t tell Brady the real reason. “Oh…yeah, I know. I just don’t want to get caught. You know? Nothing personal.”

“Nothing personal,” Brady repeated, staring out his windshield. “Guess you better go.”

“Yeah,” agreed Jack, but he could tell Brady was upset. “Hey…I had a good time…no, really, I had a great time.”

Brady turned to him and smiled slightly. “Me too. Can we do this when we play in Cooper Bay?”

Aw shit, don’t ask me that, Jack thought miserably, wondering if Brady thought they were going to become some sort of permanent thing. Until the phone call from Ennis, Jack had been happy just being fuck-buddies with the good-looking young man. “Ummm…you know, what you asked earlier about getting in trouble if anyone finds out? You know it can happen, right? We could get in a shitload of trouble.”

“I know.” Brady tapped the steering wheel with his thumbs. “But…maybe we can try?”

Jack tried not to show his exasperation. “Maybe. Look, I gotta go.” He squeezed Brady’s thigh. “I’ll see ya soon, all right?”

Brady nodded, and Jack could tell by the blank look on his face that the reality of their situation was hitting him hard. “Yeah. See ya.”

Jack got out of the car and walked away, not looking back as Brady pulled away fast from the curb.

Shit, he thought somewhat sadly. He’s a great kid. But…

Jack pulled out his phone as he entered the lobby and stared at it with a loopy grin on his face. Ennis called me!

***

Jack had never remembered such a long team breakfast.

Jeff sat beside him quietly, and Jack knew that he was pissed at him. He knew he’d have to make it up to Jeff, to explain where he’d been although not who he’d been with, and that he had to get his shit together and start pulling his weight as assistant captain.

He also knew that none of that mattered that much to him, because Ennis had finally called him and even said that he missed him.

***

Jeff and Jack got back up to their room to pack, and Jeff confronted him.

“Jack, what the fuck-“

“Look, I know you’re pissed. I shouldn’t have been gone all night.”

“Jack, I don’t care how you spend your time but the team needs you here. I need you here! We talked about this, and now you’re fucking up again.” Jeff rubbed his jaw. “Don’t do this.”

“I know, I know,” said Jack sincerely. “I swear to God it won’t happen again. But there’s something you need to know. Ennis called me.”

Jeff’s eyes went wide, and his anger faded as he smiled. “He did?”

“Yeah! And I really want to call him back.”

“You didn’t talk to him?” Jeff asked as Jack grabbed his duffel and started packing it quickly.

“No, it was on my voice mail. Look, can you give me a minute to call him? I swear to you we’ll talk about all this later, really. I just need to call him before we get on the bus, or I’m not going to have a chance.”

Jeff sighed. “You have five minutes.”

Jack looked at his watch. “Ten?” he bargained.

“You asshole. Okay, but not one second more,” smiled Jeff. “I’m gonna take a shower. When I get done, you get off the phone. Understand?”

“Got it, Captain. I swear.”

“I am seriously going to have to kick your ass,” growled Jeff good-naturedly. “Now go call your boyfriend-and tell him I said hi.”

They both laughed as Jeff went into the bathroom and closed the door, and Jack couldn’t wipe the grin off his face while he speed-dialed Ennis’s number.

“H’lo?” came a tentative voice.

“Hi, it’s me,” Jack almost whispered. “I-I got your message…”

“Hi!” Ennis sounded happy, and that was enough for Jack.

“So…ummmm….” Jack stumbled, “how’s your knee? What happened?”

Ennis sighed on the other end of the line. “I tripped over the fucking dog and tore it again.”

“Are you shitting me?” asked Jack, all giddiness gone, replaced by fear and concern.

“Nope. Just had surgery on it again, but it can’t be repaired. I’m gonna have to give up hockey.”

Jack winced. “Shit, bud…I’m really sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah.” Ennis paused, not knowing what else to say, but thrilled all the same that Jack had called him back, acting like nothing bad had happened between them.

“Hey…you been following the playoffs?” asked Jack, desperate to keep the conversation going.

“Yeah. You guys are doing great against Mich.”

“One more win’s all we need. In fact, we’re going to leave here in a few minutes to drive back to the Bay, so…so I don’t have much time to talk. And sorry I couldn’t call you back right away…I was…we had a team breakfast.” Can’t tell him what I was really doing.

“That’s okay,” replied Ennis. “Hey, you know what I said…um…about missing you?”

“Yeah?” Jack’s heart leapt up into his throat.

“I…I meant it, Jack.”

“I meant it too,” Jack hurried to say, and then realized he’d messed up. “I mean, I do too.”

“That’s good. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, Jack. About you and me and…everything. I’m okay with it…the whole gay thing. It’s what I am, and I realized I can’t change it.”

Jack couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“And you don’t owe me a damn thing, but I’d like to apologize to ya, eh?”

Jack blinked. “I understand. I mean, I get what was going through your head.” He paused. “I need to tell you-I found the picture in your coat pocket-the one from the paper.”

There was silence on the other end of the line, and then Ennis spoke. “I’m sorry. I never wanted you to see it.”

“Where’d you get it?” asked Jack seriously.

“Someone taped it in my locker.”

“Fuckers. Any idea who?”

“Nope. You?”

“Not a clue. But…is that why you left, or was it really your knee?”

“Sort of both,” Ennis admitted. “I just figured that you’d gotten along okay before I came around, and if I left, it would just solve a lot of problems. It’s not like I wanted to leave…you know? I didn’t want to leave at all.”

Just hearing the words from Ennis made Jack forget all the bad between them, and he smiled into the phone. “Okay, but don’t ever do it again, understand?”

Ennis chuckled, finally realizing things would be okay. “I won’t.”

Jack sat on the bed, stunned and happy, and took a chance. “So…are you coming back?”

Ennis smiled to himself and lied one last time to Jack. “I’m not sure. Do you want me back?”

“Do I want you back? Hell, Ennis, I don’t want anything else.”

Ennis felt relief gush through him like an overflowing river. “Me too,” he replied, wishing that he wasn’t in a cast so he could get up and jump around happily. He felt like he’d just won the Stanley Cup. “But my knee is still messed up. I don’t know when I can get back.”

“I don’t care. Just…just come home.”

Home, Ennis thought. Yep, my home is in Cooper Bay, with Jack. “Okay,” he agreed, staring at the plane itinerary in his hand, his travel arrangements all set. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to travel, but I’ll get there as soon as I can, okay, bud?”

“Fine. I’ll be here.” Jack coughed a little into the phone. “Hey, Ennis?”

“Yeah?”

“I missed you too.”

Ennis had never heard such sweet words.

Tbc…