A Game of Poker, Chapter 35: Burning Bridges
Title: A Game of Poker
Author: Bookkbaby
Rating: Teen
Warnings: YAOI
Summary: LUCKY Pair. It started as a simple game of poker, but a little white lie from Lavi changes everything. ['If you lose... you spend the night here, with me, and let me do whatever I want with you.']
Warnings: YAOI, which means BOYS LOVING BOYS. If you dislike that, then the back button is easy enough to find. Please click that and leave. Limes are in the future, and lemons. Maybe some OOC, spoilers for the end of the anime later on.
Disclaimer: I don’t own these lovely characters, that honor belongs to Katsura Hoshino. (Though if Hoshino-sama ever has a sale, I call dibs on Tyki… what?) I don’t own anything but a copy of the anime series and all volumes of the manga in English. Anything you don’t recognize (like the plotline of ‘A Game of Poker’) does belong to me. Everything else… not so much. Please don’t sue.
Kudos to the awesome SisterWicked of AssHat Productions (a group I am now a proud member of), who got me started on Lucky and lets me use 'lovely'! Beta’d by N.H. Arawn and Misster Cackles! All remaining mistakes are mine.
Thank you to those who reviewed! Sorry to those who weren’t logged in - I couldn’t send review replies to you. Thank you so much! Also really, really sorry about the delay in getting this posted.
Last Time On ‘A Game Of Poker’:
"Tyki Mikk," Komui said, voice exhausted but still strong. "Welcome to the Black Order."
Tyki stared at the hand for a long moment, then looked back up at Komui's face. With a small smirk, Tyki stepped forward and took the offered hand. He shook Komui's hand once and then let it go.
"Thank you, Supervisor," he said, only the faintest hint of habitual mockery in the title.
And Now, The Continuation
Chapter 35
Burning Bridges
Lenalee lethargically opened her eyes. Her head ached and her brain felt somewhat fuzzy from her bout of unconsciousness. She blinked slowly, staring up at what seemed to be a white ceiling. The room was dim, so she couldn't quite tell. Her eyes widened a moment later as she realized where she was.
The Black Order's infirmary. Was the fighting over? Were the others all right? What had happened to Road?
Not thinking about her injuries, Lenalee shifted to push herself to a sitting position. She winced and paused as the motion made her head swim, but it was the tightening of something around her hand that made her truly stop. She jerked her gaze towards it, breath catching in fear.
-rotting hands grabbing at her, air thick with blood and decay, floor shaking and shattering beneath her feet-
The hand was normal, pale pink flesh. She lifted her gaze to the hand's owner, already knowing who it was.
Komui was slumped in a chair; his neck was bent forward, his chin resting against his chest. His beret was resting in his lap and Lenalee could see him slowly stirring. His hand was wrapped tightly around hers. Her moving had probably woken him up.
Komui lifted his head and blinked sleepily. Lenalee didn't move, cold suspicion blooming in her chest.
What had happened to Road? Had Lenalee really won? The last thing she could remember was falling, the ground rushing up to meet her and then... nothing.
"Lenalee...?" Komui's voice was filled with relief and hope.
Lenalee tugged her hand free and held it tightly to her chest as she scooted away from Komui. Her brother's eyes widened in surprise and then his expression turned pinched. Lenalee bit her lip, but didn't move back towards the white-clad man. He looked like her brother and he sounded like her brother, but so had the illusion. She couldn't afford to trust him, not when this could be another one of Road's tricks.
Komui reached for her again, trying to grab her shoulder. Lenalee jerked herself away from the hand with a muffled cry of alarm, not realizing that she was already at the mattress's edge. She fell, head striking first and scraping along the stone floor as the rest of her followed. Lenalee winced, hissing through gritted teeth at the pain.
"Lenalee!"
She heard the back of Komui's chair hit the floor and then the sound of footsteps moving quickly around the bed towards her. Lenalee sat up, panicked, and scrambled backwards as quickly as she could while still tangled in the sheets. Her back hit the wall as Komui rounded the corner of the mattress and turned towards her. He stopped a little more than three steps away from her, as though worried about frightening her.
"Are you all right?" Lenalee could still hear a mixture of concern and pain in his voice.
For a moment, she saw the image of her brother's rotting corpse superimposed over the man before her. Her heart sped up, breathing become shallow in fear, and she pressed her back against the wall.
Komui took a step closer. Lenalee flinched and looked away. She heard Komui stop, but didn't look up at his face. She watched his feet, trembling when her mind conjured up images of blood and maggots eating and the rotting smell of human corpses-
"Lenalee?"
She didn't look up. She could hear him moving to kneel on the floor in front of her, but her eyes had stopped focusing.
"Lenalee? Look at me, please?"
She pressed herself more firmly to the wall, flinching when she noticed movement through her blurred vision. The motion stopped.
"Lenalee?" His voice was so gentle, so warm. The first illusion's voice had been the same. "Do you remember me?"
"Do you remember me?"
Lenalee began to shake.
"I'm your brother, Komui Lee."
"I'm your brother, Komui-"
"You're an illusion."
This was another illusion. She hadn't won. She would have to watch her brother die all over again. She would have to watch all of her friends die until she found Road's real body.
The Ark had only been the beginning.
"You were fighting Road and you hit your head. The Nurse told me you might have lost some of your memories."
"I'm not an illusion. You won the fight with Road but you took a nasty hit to the head. I was told you might have lost some of your memory."
She couldn't do it again.
"Lenalee?"
Komui sounded so worried, exactly like her brother would sound if he saw her now. She could feel herself shaking and she swallowed hard, trying to still her limbs. She had to keep it together, she had to face this, had to, had to...
"Lenalee!" He was frantic now.
Lenalee swallowed heavily again and raised her head. For a moment, when she looked at Komui's face, all she could see were maggots crawling through his eyes, blood pouring from the corners of his mouth and one cheek eaten away to reveal the bones beneath. Her stomach lurched and she jerked her gaze away, taking in a deep, shuddering breath to try and control the sudden nausea.
"Lena-" He reached for her, shifting forward on the floor as he extended his hand towards her shoulder.
"No!" Lenalee cried out, body moving on instinct. She tried to kick, but her legs were still tangled in the sheets and the blow only barely reached Komui's chest. Her foot tapped against him without any force. Lenalee felt her insides freeze when she caught sight of her bare foot.
Her Innocence was gone.
Her breathing began to speed up. She tried to calm herself down, tried to take slower, deeper breaths, but every breath was shallower than the last no matter how she tried to even out her breathing.
Komui, momentarily stunned by the fact that she had tried to kick him, sprang back into action. He moved backwards, extending the distance between himself and Lenalee by a few feet. He stopped when he was just beyond reach, apparently unwilling to move any further. Lenalee's breathing slowed somewhat and she lowered her foot, still staring at her toes.
"Lenalee?" Komui asked her softly. His voice was carefully gentle and was as soothing as he could make it. "Can you hear me? Please, just nod or shake your head."
Slowly, Lenalee nodded. She kept staring at her feet. She couldn't look at Komui. This was an illusion, just another illusion, and she needed to pull herself together and fight. Like this, she'd fall to pieces if she had to watch her brother die again. She had to be strong.
"What's scaring you?" he asked her, voice still kind. She could hear him swallow thickly and his voice was strained when he spoke next. "Am I scaring you? Do you remember me?"
"You're not my brother," Lenalee whispered, not looking up at Komui. Her shakes had subsided and now her body was merely trembling. Her heart still raced, but it was calming down too.
She would win this time. She had to.
"What?" Komui's voice was still soothing. He hadn't heard her.
"You're not my brother," Lenalee repeated firmly, lifting her head to meet his gaze. Komui was stunned, hurt visible in his eyes. Lenalee felt her chest tighten and she shut her eyes and shook her head. "You're a fake."
"Lena-" She looked up and saw him reaching for her again.
"No!" Lenalee quickly struggled to her feet, off-balanced and wobbling. She shoved off the sheet and flattening her back against the wall. She stared down at Komui, who was still kneeling on the ground with his arm half-reaching for where she had been. Komui looked up at her and slowly rose to his feet. He kept his knees slightly bent, trying to stay at eye-level with her. His expression was tight and pained. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Komui took a deep breath and shut his mouth.
"This is another illusion," Lenalee said, more to herself than to Komui. She could hear the waver in her voice, one created by equal parts fear and uncertainty. "It's just an illusion."
Komui's expression grew more shocked, hope seeping into his eyes.
"Lenalee, no. This is real. You're safe," he said quickly. "The battle is over. One of the medical teams found you and brought you in-"
"Do you remember waking up in the medical wing?"
"That's what you said last time!" Lenalee said. She took a deep breath, starting to shake again. "I can't- I don't want to do this. Not again... but I have to. I can't give up, I can't-"
She cut herself off with a choked gasp, staring wide-eyed at Komui. The image of his rotting corpse was superimposed over his body and all she could see were the maggots crawling behind his glasses, blood covering him from chin to navel-
The corpse reached for her.
"No!" she screamed, lifting her arms to shove the offending limb away. Komui stopped, though he didn't drop his arm.
"Lenalee, you're all right now," he said gently, coaxingly. "You're in the medical wing at the Order. You hit your head pretty badly. That's probably why you don't remember, but you're safe. The battle is over and you're safe."
Lenalee shook her head, keeping her eyes fixed on the corpse's outstretched arm. She could see the bone where the flesh of his fingers had been eaten away and what flesh remained had a sickening grayish tinge.
"You're dead," she whispered, inching away from Komui while keeping her back pressed to the wall.
"Dead?" Komui asked, sounding shocked. He shook his head. "No, I'm fine. We're safe, Lenalee. You're safe and I'm not dead."
He reached out for her. Lenalee jerked away from him with a muffled cry and he retracted his hand as though he had been burned. Lenalee felt a pang of regret for hurting him, but this was an illusion. This wasn't her brother.
"It's only an illusion. An illusion," she whispered.
"What can I do to get you to believe that this isn't an illusion?" Komui asked her, tone more than just a little pleading. Lenalee wavered.
"Lenalee, please?"
Lenalee shut her eyes and took another deep breath.
"Can you tell me anything that would prove this isn't an illusion?" she asked softly. Komui was quiet.
"I don't know," he answered finally. "What would prove to you that this is real?"
Lenalee opened her eyes slowly. Swallowing heavily, she lifted her gaze to Komui.
Komui smiled weakly at her, showing her that maggots had invaded his mouth too and that his gums had already rotted away to nothing. Lenalee shuddered and looked at the large, gaping wound in his chest. Maggots crawled around in the exposed innards, the white coat around it stained with blood. Lenalee's stomach rebelled but she lifted a trembling hand, ignoring her nausea.
All the dead people in the illusion had felt like decaying corpses. Their bodies had been soft from rot, nothing like the firm feeling of another living being's flesh. If she concentrated, she could see Komui behind the image of his corpse. Which one was real? The image of the corpse or the image of Komui?
She reached out, stepping closer and pressing her palm to her brother's chest over where his heart would be. Komui didn't move.
The material of his coat was soft, not rough or sticky with blood. His flesh was firm. His heart beat soothingly under her hand, steady and calm.
He was alive.
The memory shattered under her hand. There was no blood, no maggots, no exposed bones. Komui was alive.
Lenalee felt tears well up in her eyes and her knees suddenly went weak from relief. Her hand tightened in the material of his jacket. She slumped forward, trusting her older brother to hold her weight.
He let out a startled noise and his arms came up around her, catching her. Komui held her carefully, arms tensed as though he half-expected her to shove him away again.
Lenalee began crying. Her shoulders shook and she buried her face in Komui's shoulder.
"Lenalee?" Komui asked carefully. There was a clear undercurrent of worry in his voice.
"I'm sorry, brother," she said quietly, breathing unevenly. This was real. She was safe.
Komui's arms relaxed and he held her protectively, one hand rubbing soothing circles on her upper back. For a moment, Lenalee felt like she was a little girl again, being carried by her brother and being comforted by him after a nightmare. In a way, she supposed that was exactly what she was.
"It's all right, Lenalee," Komui said. "I'm right here. You're safe."
Lenalee didn't reply, just held on tighter. Tears kept pouring down her face and soaking Komui's shoulder, but neither sibling really noticed or cared. Komui unconsciously began to sway, as though Lenalee really were a child that could be rocked back to sleep. His hand never stopped making soft circles on her back, his voice softly reassuring her that she was safe, he was alive, and the Order had won.
Lenalee's eyes slid shut, her grip on his coat becoming looser. Her tears had stopped and she felt exhaustion welling up.
She fell asleep to the sound of Komui's voice and the feel of his heart beating beneath her hand.
LINE BREAK
Komui kept rocking his sister gently, still rubbing circles on her back after she had fallen asleep. He could hear her breathing, deep and even, and she was dead weight against him. The motions were as much a comfort for him as they had been for her.
He had come to the medical wing as soon as he had been able to get away, terrified of what he might find. The only two Exorcists known to have fought Road were Lavi and the late General Kevin Yeeger, and the deceased General's mind had been completely destroyed by Road. Komui had spent the hours by Lenalee's bedside carefully not thinking about how Lenalee's mind might have been wiped blank by Road's attack. He had simply sat by his sister's bed, holding her hand and willing her to wake.
She had been hurt, certainly, and worse off than Lavi had been after fighting Road, but she hadn't been broken. She would be fine.
The sound of the door opening caught his attention. Startled, he turned his head towards the door, careful to keep his body still so that Lenalee wouldn't fall. Access to this room was restricted to the Head Nurse, her assistants, Exorcists, and the Supervisor, so who-?
The Head Nurse stood in the doorway, looking extremely displeased. Komui winced, turning away from her and cringing. Lenalee wasn't supposed to be out of bed; he had no clue how the Nurse had known, but-
"A Howard Link is here to see you, Supervisor," the Head Nurse said icily. "I was told to /fetch/ you and tell you to go back to your office immediately."
Komui felt suddenly cold.
"Link...?" he repeated. He felt Lenalee begin to slip from his hold and tightened his arms around her before she fell.
"And just what is my patient doing out of bed?" the Nurse asked pointedly, though her voice had warmed a little. Komui smiled thinly.
"She woke up," he replied. He bent carefully and lifted Lenalee. He turned around slowly and cautiously laid her in her bed, setting her head gently on the pillow and arranging her limbs comfortably. He picked the sheet up off the floor where she had dropped it and pulled it over her, tucking it under her chin. Lenalee didn't stir. Komui watched her for a moment, looking for any sign of distress. He sighed, relieved and yet resigned.
"I'll be back soon," he promised quietly. He turned and followed the Head Nurse out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind himself.
LINE BREAK
Komui stepped into his office, controlling his frown when he noticed that said office was already occupied. Leverrier was sitting in the chair across from Komui's desk with his back to the door. Link was standing just off to the side and behind Leverrier's chair, half turned towards the door. Komui gave him a tight, insincere smile and nodded briefly before shutting the door behind himself and making his way to his desk. He avoided the few stacks of paperwork out of habit and then pulled out his chair, keenly aware of two pairs of eyes watching him. He sat down and tried to make himself comfortable, avoiding eye contact with either of the men staring at him.
There could be no good reason for Leverrier to show up, but he doubted that the Inspector was here because of the attack earlier today. Komui hadn't even had time to begin the necessary paperwork to inform his superiors that the Main Branch Headquarters had been compromised and that they'd need to move into a new building. He wasn't even certain whether or not Central HQ knew about the attack yet.
Taking a deep but silent breath, Komui lifted his head and met Leverrier's gaze squarely. Komui didn't bother smiling.
"What brings you here so late, Inspector?" he asked politely. Even if this didn't have anything to do with the battle, there were a few other things Komui could think of that the higher-ups at Central HQ might want to poke their noses into.
Leverrier smiled almost pleasantly. As usual for the man, the expression didn't reach his eyes. Leverrier leaned back in his chair, outwardly relaxed. Komui tensed.
"I was on my way here to discuss a certain Exorcist's use of the Ark against the Central Headquarters' official policy when I heard a rather interesting rumor, Supervisor," Leverrier replied, tone going dangerously soft and eyes going flinty. Komui held the Inspector's gaze.
"And what rumor was that?" he asked, though he had a sneaking suspicion he already knew. Leverrier dropped the smile and leaned forward slightly.
"The rumor that the Main Branch has been harboring a member of the Noah Family," he said. "The rumor that, for months, a Noah has lived inside the walls of this building without Central Headquarters being informed."
Komui forced himself to not react to the accusation in Leverrier's voice. There was no way to deny it, not when it was basically true.
"If by 'harbored' you mean kept locked up under twenty-four hour guard, even after he had been vouched for by an Exorcist," Komui replied evenly. "The Noah has provided information that has proven very valuable to the scientists here. Besides the information, he helped repel an attack made on this building by the Earl and the other Noah. Without his assistance, you probably would have arrived to find charred rubble and piles of dust."
Leverrier's expression didn't change.
"And your reasons for not informing Central? I'm sure you have excellent reasons for keeping this secret."
"The paperwork must have gotten lost somewhere," Komui lied, knowing perfectly well that he hadn't done it. When Tyki Mikk had first arrived, it had been because both Allen and Lavi had made illegal use of the Ark. Allen hadn't needed the second strike against him and Lavi certainly didn't need the first, not when Central was already decidedly uneasy about the presence of Bookman and his apprentice in the Order. Afterwards, Komui had been so busy with asking Tyki questions and verifying his answers that explaining why a Noah was living in Headquarters to Central had fallen by the wayside. "I'd be more than happy to resubmit my report."
Leverrier was quiet for a moment.
"'Lost'," he echoed quietly. "Of course. The report was just lost in the mail, I'm sure."
Komui felt a shiver go down his spine. As long as Leverrier couldn't prove that Komui had willfully neglected to inform his superiors, Komui was safe. Still, from the way Leverrier spoke, Komui knew that the man would go digging for any shred of evidence he could find.
"Were my requests for Allen Walker to be disciplined for his unauthorized usage of the Ark similarly 'lost'?" Leverrier asked coolly. Komui forced a strained smile onto his face.
"I don't know. There have been a few unfortunate accidents with paperwork lately; coffee gets spilled or a pen explodes, or sometimes papers have been dropped into the incinerator. Accidentally. Perhaps your requests were among them?"
Leverrier's eyes narrowed.
"If you'd like, you could fill out another form and submit it," Komui said brightly. "But then again, it has already been more than thirty days since Allen Walker used the Ark to save Kanda Yuu. The paperwork would need to have been filed before now, so I'm afraid there's nothing that can be done to punish him for that incident."
"Terribly unfortunate, that both of my requests were destroyed," Leverrier said, watching Komui intently. Komui nodded somewhat stiffly, trying to keep the smile on his face.
"Terribly unfortunate," he agreed. Leverrier nodded and leaned back in his chair.
"Now, about the Noah..." Leverrier said. "I am certain that Central will be receiving a full report from you on the Noah very soon-"
Komui nodded again.
"-but I have a few questions of my own I want answered now."
Komui tensed.
"If you submit your questions to me in writing-" he began, but Leverrier cut him off.
"Of course," he said, a hint of smugness and steel in his tone. "If you want them in writing, I'll have them for you tomorrow. While I'm here, I may just decide to do a little investigating on the 'accidents' that keep happening to important paperwork in this office. All humans make mistakes, but it doesn't do for a Supervisor to be... careless."
Komui's hands tightened on the armrests of his chair. He tried to relax, keeping his face placid as his heart froze inside his chest.
"Or," Leverrier continued, voice silky. "Perhaps I'll choose to investigate the Exorcists stationed here. If an Exorcist might be more useful somewhere else, it would be my duty to write a recommendation for that Exorcist to be reassigned..."
All the breath seemed to have left Komui's lungs. The threats were clear; 'answer my questions now, or I'll do my best to remove you from your post or get Lenalee taken away from you'. There was no real choice.
"What do you want to know?" Komui asked carefully. His gaze darted to Link. The light-haired man hadn't spoken a word, but Komui knew that he had to be listening and remembering everything he said. Komui couldn't avoid answering Leverrier's questions, but he didn't have to be entirely truthful either.
"Does Tyki Mikk have control over his Noah?" Leverrier asked promptly. Komui blinked, startled.
What was Leverrier asking that for?
"I would guess so," Komui said. "Enough to ensure that he won't attack an Order member or an Exorcist, I'm sure."
Leverrier leaned forward again.
"But does he have complete control? Enough to control himself when his Noah is brought to the surface completely?"
Komui's mind flashed back to the battle, to watching a transformed Tyki Mikk attack the Earl. Slowly, he nodded.
"Yes," he said. "At least, he has enough control over himself to attack the Earl while transformed."
Leverrier leaned back again, a smile on his face. It was a thoroughly satisfied expression, one that actually reached his eyes and was far more chilling for it. Komui shivered.
"Anything else?" he asked shortly. Leverrier seemed to consider and then shook his head.
"That's enough for now. If I have more questions, I'm sure you will answer them." Leverrier stood and tugged at the bottom of his uniform jacket until it lay perfectly flat on his chest.
"Of course, Inspector," Komui said through gritted teeth, keeping his gaze on the man.
Leverrier nodded in an almost mocking show of respect and turned to go. Link nodded a bit more respectfully and followed Leverrier out of Komui's office. Komui sat at his desk and watched them leave. He studied the closed door for several seconds before releasing his white-knuckled grip on the armrests of his chair and buried his face in one of his hands.
He didn't know why Leverrier was so interested in Tyki, but it couldn't be for anything good. Answering Leverrier's questions was a bad idea, but what other choice did Komui have? If Leverrier found evidence that Komui had deliberately destroyed requests for discipline, Komui's ability as a leader would be called into question. At the very least, Komui would be dragged into hearings to prove his worthiness and at worst he'd be removed from his post without question. A Supervisor who couldn't do their job was a liability.
Komui refused to be separated from his sister. Lenalee needed him, now more than ever. Road's attack had made her vulnerable and Komui would be damned before he let her regress back to the state he had found her in when he had finally managed to become the Supervisor in charge of her.
He'd have to tread carefully. He couldn't lose Lenalee, but he refused to simply withdraw his protection from the other Exorcists. Leverrier had come here originally because of Allen Walker and Komui didn't believe it was simply because Allen had broken the rules about using the Ark. There had to be another reason Leverrier was so interested in Allen and that didn't bode well for the white-haired boy.
Komui couldn't protect everyone, but he would do the best that he could to protect as many as possible. Especially from men like Leverrier.
Swallowing heavily, he sent a silent apology to the Noah. Komui would do his best, but if it came down to losing Lenalee or handing Tyki Mikk over to Leverrier...
He didn't want to have to make that choice, but he had a sick feeling that, in the future, he might need to.
He swallowed again. He couldn't lose Lenalee.
"I'm sorry."
LINE BREAK
Leverrier walked down the deserted hallway with measured steps. Link kept pace behind him. Their footsteps echoed lightly.
"We have informants here, correct?" Leverrier asked calmly.
"Correct, Inspector," Link replied.
"Have them keep a closer eye on Allen Walker. Get a few to monitor the Noah. I want a full report of his abilities and how much control he appears to have over his Noah."
"Understood."
The two walked in silence for a moment, a slight but disturbing grin on Leverrier's face.
LINE BREAK
"You don't mind if I sit here, do you?"
Tyki looked up from his lunch, so startled he dropped the shrimp he had just managed to spear with his fork.
Allen Walker stood in the aisle on the other side of the table, balancing three trays piled with food. The white haired boy was smiling slightly, though there was a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. Tyki managed to nod and shifted a bit in his seat, somewhat uncomfortable. Tyki was an expert on how to charm people and had confidence aplenty, but there was no word other than 'awkward' that adequately described his situation.
There was no graceful way to go from trying to kill people to trying to be their comrade. If there was, Tyki did not know it.
Allen nodded and set the trays down on the table, taking care to not spill so much as a drop of milk or morsel of food. He had just gotten out of the infirmary and had decided to celebrate by ordering all of his favorites. Jerry, as always, had been overjoyed to see the white-haired boy back on his feet and had whipped up Allen's order in about half the time it usually took.
"Thanks," Allen said with apparent sincerity, reaching for a bowl of some kind of soup and pulling it towards himself.
"Having trouble finding a seat, were you?" Tyki asked dryly, briefly glancing around the room at the many empty tables. It was well past the lunch rush, so there were only a handful of people in the dining hall. Tyki had grown accustomed to eating late since the hush that fell over any room he walked into was a bit unsettling. He re-speared the errant shrimp and ate it, chewing thoughtfully and keeping his eyes on the Exorcist across from him.
Allen didn't answer for a moment but met Tyki's gaze steadily.
"I wanted to talk to you about the battle," he said. Tyki's gaze flicked to the bruises visible on the boy's neck.
"I see," he said. Allen noticed the direction of Tyki's gaze and shook his head.
"That's not what I wanted to talk about," he said, putting a hand to his neck to hide them from sight. He sighed and dropped his hand, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
Tyki raised an eyebrow in question.
"That's at least the fourth attempt I've made on your life, direct or indirect," he said lowly, speaking just loud enough for Allen to hear. "If I had expected any Exorcist to come sit with me, I would not have expected you."
Tyki would have expected Lavi. At least, he would have expected Lavi before the redhead had left him after their second night of sleeping next to each other. Now, with both Lavi's cold rejection of him and his quiet plea for Tyki to be safe ringing in his head, the Noah didn't know what to expect from the redhead anymore.
"And that's not what you came to discuss?" Tyki continued, still keeping his tone soft and allowing some of his incredulity to seep into his voice. Granted, Allen had seemed rather accepting of him during the battle, but that had been a life-or-death situation. Things were relatively calm now, though Tyki had heard rumors that the Order would be moving to a new building.
Allen shook his head again.
"You wouldn't have tried to strangle me if you were in complete control of yourself," he said, speaking just as softly as Tyki had. Allen's voice was full of conviction and almost dismissive of his brush with death. Tyki just stared, stunned. "I don't think you'd try transforming again unless you had no choice, right?"
The Noah nodded mutely. Allen smiled thinly.
"So it's not a big concern for me." He paused, gaze dropping to Tyki's chest and then back up. "Does your injury still hurt?"
"Injury?" Tyki asked, glancing down reflexively. He looked back up, shaking his head. "From Crown Clown?"
Allen nodded. Tyki shook his head again, more firmly.
"No. It still twinges, but that will fade and so will the scar." The last ones had, after all, though it had taken a while for them to be gone entirely. Allen smiled, relief evident in his expression.
"That's good," he said, reaching for a small roll and buttering it quickly. He ate half of it in one bite.
"I confess I'm somewhat surprised you asked," Tyki said, toying with another shrimp on his plate. "Or have you forgotten that we were enemies not too long ago?"
Allen shrugged, chewing and swallowing.
"We're not enemies anymore."
"You sound so certain," Tyki mused, turning back to his lunch. Many people still regarded him with suspicion, he knew, especially Exorcists and any Finders who had been unfortunate enough to come across his handiwork in the past. The Finders that were less familiar with Tyki's history were somewhat friendly - a few even gave him looks suggesting that they could be /very/ friendly if he'd let them - but even they kept their distance.
"Lavi trusts you."
Tyki couldn't resist chuckling at that. He reached for his water glass and took a slow sip from it before looking back at Allen.
"What is it you wanted to talk about, boy?" he asked, setting the glass down. Allen regarded him seriously.
"What you did during the battle, with the Akuma..." He hesitated. "I know you had to and I don't blame you for it, but please tell me you'll never do that again."
"'What I did'..." Tyki echoed, forehead furrowed in brief puzzlement before he realized what the boy meant. "You're talking about how I ordered them to self-destruct."
Allen nodded.
"Doing that saved a lot of people in that battle, but it also destroyed the souls trapped inside the Akuma," he said, voice dripping with pain and regret. "Unless an Akuma is destroyed by Innocence..." His voice trailed off.
"You want me to promise that I'll never order another Akuma to self-destruct?" Tyki asked cautiously, just for confirmation. Allen nodded firmly. Tyki considered for a moment, toying with his glass.
"I couldn't promise that," he finally said. Allen's face fell. "I could promise to never do it unless there were extenuating circumstances, but in either case the point is moot."
Allen frowned, confused.
"What do you mean?" he asked. Tyki took another sip from his water before answering.
"After I betrayed the Earl, he stopped programming Akuma to respond to my orders. There may still be a few that were created before I left the Family, but I doubt there are too many left that would respond to such an order from me," he said simply, setting his glass down and picking up his fork. He began eating his lunch once more.
"Oh," Allen said quietly. He began eating his soup again, first slowly, and then with more energy. Tyki idly scanned the dining area. There were a few stragglers getting last-minute orders before Jerry closed the kitchen so the cooks could get a break between lunch and dinner. Among the stragglers was another Exorcist Tyki recognized; the long-haired swordsman. Tyki was fairly certain the boy's name was Kanda. Tyki was absolutely positive that Kanda was glaring daggers at him.
He snorted quietly. It took more than that to intimidate him.
"Tyki?"
The Noah turned back to Allen, noting with some surprise that most of the white-haired boy's food had disappeared in the time it had taken him to glance around the room. The Exorcist seemed hesitant and opened and closed his mouth a few times, each time hastily shoving more food in to cover his reluctance. Tyki waited, somewhat anxious about what it was Allen was so nervous about asking.
"What is it, boy?" Tyki asked after the third aborted attempt. Allen swallowed the food in his mouth.
"You can call me Allen, you know," he said, somewhat petulantly. Tyki waited for him to continue. That wasn't what Allen had wanted to say.
Allen sighed.
"What's going on between you and Lavi?"
Tyki bit his tongue on the response that leapt to his lips; even though it really was none of Allen's business, Tyki knew that he wouldn't be half as touchy about the subject if he wasn't so uncertain himself. Things had been so much clearer between them before Tyki had ever set foot in the Order.
Tyki picked at his food, not truly hungry anymore.
"I don't know," he said finally. Allen nodded but didn't speak, silently encouraging Tyki to speak. Tyki just as quietly declined the request and silence fell over the table. They continued eating in silence, Allen polishing off the rest of his food and starting in on his mitarashi dango in short order. The quiet was almost companionable before being broken by a gruff demand.
"What the hell are you doing, idiot beansprout?"
Allen and Tyki both looked up from their meals, Allen half-scowling and Tyki's face a careful mask.
Kanda nearly slammed his tray down on the table and sat next to Allen, shooting a hate-filled glare at Tyki as he did so. Tyki inclined his head in a greeting that was a hair too shallow to be truly polite. Kanda's glare darkened.
Allen elbowed the swordsman, not even attempting to be subtle. Kanda's glare faded to a scowl as his harsh gaze switched victims.
"What?" he demanded.
"There are plenty of open tables," Allen said waspishly. "Sit somewhere else if you're going to be like that."
"Che. I'll sit where I want to," Kanda replied, turning to his food and snapping his chopsticks apart. The swordsman shot one last glare at Tyki before he began to eat.
"Forgive me for having trouble believing that you actually want to sit here," Allen muttered sarcastically, picking up another stick of dango.
"Che."
Tyki looked from one Exorcist to the other with interest, a small smirk forming on his face. He had to admit that he didn't personally know either of them very well, but he had had plenty of experience with people in general. Allen was not the type of person to get angry very easily, that much was obvious to anyone who met the boy, but Kanda had managed it with a sentence and a look.
Tyki hadn't seen much of Kanda, but what he had seen was very telling. The way Kanda had become infuriated when Tyki had threatened Allen all those weeks ago had been a hint, but that was nothing compared to how possessive of Allen the swordsman seemed now.
Tyki had never seen Allen or Kanda interact with each other before now, but he made a mental note to watch them more often in the future. It promised him some amusement, at least. Perhaps Lavi would find it as amusing as he did. His smirk faded.
He needed to talk to Lavi. Soon.
He saw a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. Hopeful, he turned his gaze towards it quickly.
Lavi stood in the doorway to the dining hall, eye wide and mouth slightly agape. Tyki and Lavi stayed like that for several long seconds, gazes locked, and then Lavi shut his mouth and turned abruptly. The redhead walked hastily out of the hall, turning left when he reached the corridor.
Tyki looked back at his dinner companions. Neither had apparently noticed Lavi's arrival and quick departure.
"I'm afraid I must go now, if you'll excuse me..." Tyki said, standing up. Allen nodded politely. Kanda grunted, still glaring. Tyki's eyes narrowed in reply.
"Thank you, Tyki," Allen said. There was a small bit of mitarashi sauce next to his mouth. Tyki's gaze flicked to it and then back to Kanda. He smirked.
It wouldn't hurt to needle the swordsman just a little bit...
Tyki leaned forward a bit, putting one hand on the table for balance.
"You're welcome, Allen," he said, putting just a little bit of emphasis on the name. He could almost hear Kanda's murderous intent rising and his smirk widened. "I enjoyed our... talk."
Allen stared up at him, expression one of wide-eyed innocence. Tyki lifted his other hand and slid it across Allen's face, wiping up the mitarashi sauce.
Allen blinked, startled by the unexpected motion. Tyki moved back a bit.
"You had some sauce on your face," he offered casually, lifting his thumb to his mouth and licking it clean. "Delicious. Jerry really is an excellent cook."
He snuck a glance at Kanda. If he had thought the boy angry before, that was nothing compared to how furious the swordsman looked now. If looks could kill, Tyki was very certain that he'd be dying at least in at least a hundred different extremely painful ways.
His gaze moved back to Allen just in time to see the white-haired boy look thoughtfully at Kanda. The dark-haired Exorcist didn't notice, too busy glaring for all he was worth at Tyki and gripping his chopsticks so hard they snapped. It was extremely fortunate that he didn't have his sword with him, else he would have attacked the moment Tyki had leaned forward.
Allen's gaze returned to Tyki and the boy pasted on a bright smile.
"Thanks again," he said with apparent sincerity. "I'll see you later?"
Tyki could hear Kanda snarling in wordless rage but ignored him and nodded at Allen.
"Of course." With a polite nod, he turned and left. He abandoned his tray, knowing that he had lost enough time already. He would probably lose all chance of following Lavi if he took the time to return it properly. He could apologize for his negligence later.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing, beansprout?" Kanda demanded in a hiss as Tyki left. Allen regarded him, radiating an air of innocence.
"I don't know what you mean," he answered, playing dumb. Kanda growled and grabbed Allen's arm, forcefully turning the other Exorcist to face him. Allen frowned.
"What are you-"
"He's a goddamn Noah," Kanda snarled, more venom concentrated into his voice than ever before. Allen's frown faded, surprise taking its place. "He's the enemy."
Allen studied Kanda's face. It was clear that the swordsman was furious, angrier than Allen could remember ever seeing him before. It wasn't the simple kind of rage the swordsman had for all of their enemies; that was nothing personal and was kind of cool and detached in its own way. This was a burning-hot anger and was definitely personal.
"Why are you so angry?" Allen asked, unable to help himself. Kanda blinked, briefly taken aback, then scowled darkly.
"Che. Fucking idiot," Kanda growled, releasing Allen's arm and standing. He seized his tray with a quick, jerky motion and knocked over his cup of tea. Allen jerked back as the hot liquid splashed over the edge. The broth that came with Kanda's beloved soba didn't escape Kanda's fury either - it sloshed over the sides of the bowl as Kanda pivoted and stomped away from Allen.
Allen watched him go, bemused.
LINE BREAK
Lavi walked along the hall to the dining room. It was almost time for the kitchen staff to take a break before dinner, so hopefully the place would be mostly deserted. It wasn't that the redhead didn't want company; speaking with someone would be a welcome distraction from thinking. It was just a certain person's company he was hoping to avoid.
“Be safe.”
He shouldn't have said that. His heart had taken temporary control of his vocal cords, but he couldn't afford to slip up again. Now that Tyki was free to wander around, it would be almost impossible to avoid the man. Lavi's reaction had been very mixed when he had overheard that bit of news while recovering in the infirmary. There had been, first and foremost, a stunned sort of relief that Tyki was alive and apparently mostly unharmed. On its heels was a sick, stomach-churning dread that he'd actually need to talk to the man again. Lavi was fairly certain that the only reason that Tyki hadn't confronted him yet was because the section of the infirmary Lavi had been in was off-limits to most people. Not that any guard would have been able to keep Tyki out; the risk of being put back in chains for breaking rules so soon after Tyki had earned the Order's tentative trust, however...
There were plenty of people who wouldn't look kindly on a Noah sneaking into the rooms of wounded Exorcists, no matter how reformed that Noah was or what his intentions were.
When they spoke again, Lavi wouldn't need to just simply burn the bridge. He'd need to tear it down until no fragments remained and then completely incinerate it to make sure that there was no remnant left. Acting the way he had been was only confusing Tyki and making things much more difficult for Lavi.
Tyki would keep pursuing him until the Noah was convinced that there was no chance they would be together again. There couldn't be a chance; Lavi just had to convince Tyki of that. The redhead, for his part, was already painfully aware of that fact.
He stepped into the dining hall, gaze downcast. He took a deep breath, vowing to shove those thoughts aside for now. He intended to avoid Tyki for as long as possible anyway, so wondering how best to dissuade Tyki from pursuing an impossible relationship wasn't necessary quite yet. All it was accomplishing was deepening the metaphorical injury in his chest Lavi knew no medicine could help.
He looked up and immediately wished he hadn't.
Of course the one person he wanted to avoid just happened to be sitting in the first seat Lavi's gaze landed upon. That was just how his luck worked. For a moment, the redhead couldn't bring himself to move. He stared at Tyki, the ache in his chest growing deeper.
He absently noted that the Noah was sitting with Allen and Kanda. That was odd, though it didn't really merit further consideration. It was just a visual reminder that Tyki was slowly but surely being accepted by the Order. He didn't need Lavi anymore. For anything.
Lavi stared, throat nearly closing off from the emotions pouring through him. It wasn't fair. He couldn't even sit next to Tyki now. It would be too risky, since he still wanted to hold the older man and be held by him. To maintain any sort of unprofessional relationship was a bad idea. A really, really bad idea.
It didn't stop Lavi from wanting to.
Just then, Tyki looked up. Lavi's eye widened with shock and sudden anxiety. He hadn't expected to get caught staring. He should have left the second he had noticed Tyki was there. He didn't move. The Noah's dark eyes seemed to hold him in place, gazes locked for several heartbeats.
Lavi shut his mouth, not having been conscious of opening it, and swallowed heavily. He tore his gaze away, breaking the connection, and spun on his heel. He needed to get out of here. Now. At least he wasn't hungry anymore; his appetite seemed to have fled.
Lavi walked swiftly to the door and turned left, barely stopping himself from breaking into a run. He took deep breaths as he walked, trying to calm his racing heart. He'd go hide in the library. Or in his room. Somewhere, anywhere so long as he could put off this conversation.
He took the first hallway he could. The more complicated he made his path, the harder it would be for anyone to follow. It was a pity that there weren't more forks in his path, but that couldn't be helped. The layout of the area near the kitchen was a bit too simple for Lavi's comfort, but hopefully he had managed to get away quickly enough...
A hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder and spun him around.
"Wha-" Lavi's voice caught in his throat.
Tyki's hand tightened, his grip like iron. His expression was serious, bordering on solemn.
"You and I," he said firmly, eyes narrowed slightly. "Need to talk."
Lavi swallowed heavily and relaxed his face into an unconcerned expression. His heart pounded.
"About what?" he asked, yanking his shoulder out of Tyki's grip and wincing as the motion tugged on his wound. It promptly began throbbing. "I thought I said all I needed to weeks ago."
Tyki's eyes narrowed further. He looked actually angry; Lavi shivered almost imperceptibly. Had he ever seen Tyki actually angry? Annoyed, sure, but never actually angry.
"You'll find that I disagree," he said dryly. He made a show of glancing around. "Do you know a room where we can have this discussion in private? Unless you'd prefer to air our dirty laundry here..."
"I told you, I've said all I needed to," Lavi forced himself to say. The words felt oddly thick on his tongue and his throat was uncomfortably tight. He coughed to clear it before continuing. "You can't give me anything I couldn't get somewhere else. I've already been getting it somewhere else, if you know what I mean."
A white lie. Tyki didn't need to know that. Lavi felt his chest grow heavy when Tyki actually looked taken aback and then hurt by Lavi's statement. Tyki quickly covered it up, but for a second the pain had been clear.
"You moved on rather quickly," he said, voice on the verge of snapping. Lavi shrugged, hoping the movement didn't look as tense as he felt.
"I didn't see any reason not to," he said with what he hoped sounded like sincere casualness. He smiled thinly at Tyki. "You were interesting for a while, that's it. I'm done dallying with you."
He felt like his tongue should shrivel up. It was as though he was an observer, watching someone else use his body to lie to Tyki like this. His shoulder still throbbed a bit, but the sensation was faint. Inconsequential. The painful throbbing in his chest was much more immediate.
Tyki didn't respond for almost a minute, just stared at Lavi's face as though looking for a crack in the mask. Lavi's thin smile held up under the weight of that stare, though his heart quivered. In the depths of Tyki's eyes, he could see pain.
"I had thought," Tyki said, voice clipped. "That once I was free, we could spend more time together. I had thought that you would be in my bed as many nights as you could."
"Well,-" Lavi began, but Tyki wasn't done.
"I had thought," he said, voice dangerously soft. "That I would have the pleasure of waking up next to you for every one of our morning afters."
"-you thought wrong," Lavi finished weakly. He ached. How could he have ever thought that he was getting over this? This was no less painful than it had been the last time they had been together.
Images began to play back in his head, not true memories but fantasies based off of them. What would it have been like, one of those nights he had slept next to the Noah, to simply lay in bed and wait for the sun to rise? What would it have been like to press kisses to Tyki's sleeping face and lips until the older man woke up? What would it have been like to be awoken in such a manner himself?
He'd never know.
"I suppose I did," Tyki said, voice cold. Lavi nodded, motion jerky. "It really never meant anything to you, lovely?"
"I told you not to call me that," Lavi said flatly. The use of the pet name sent a spike of longing through him. He fought to keep his expression clear. "And no. It didn't."
Tyki didn't respond, expression unreadable. Lavi looked away. He couldn't stand to watch.
"Are we done here, then?" he asked, trying to sound exasperated. He barely managed 'tired'. The redhead was just happy his voice hadn't wavered. "I've got things I have to do..." Like mourn the fact that whatever had been between him and Tyki was now truly over. There was no easy way back from statements like 'I don't need you' and 'I'm sleeping with someone else'. Not unless Tyki was totally desperate, but the Noah had too much pride to beg Lavi to come back to him.
"Not yet," Tyki said. "I want you to answer one last question for me."
Lavi faced Tyki again and lifted his chin a bit, projecting as much confidence as his could while his innards turned to ice. He met the Noah's gaze squarely.
"Sure. Ask away," he said confidently, as though he feared nothing the man might ask.
"Why did you tell me to 'be safe'?" Tyki asked.
The ice spread to his face. Lavi's expression stayed fixed, heart tripping over several beats before it regained its regular rhythm.
"It's what I'd tell Kanda or Allen or Lenalee if they were going out to fight," he said. It wasn't a total lie. He did care whether or not they returned in one piece, though his concern for them wasn't quite on the same level as his fear for Tyki. "You're a great asset to the Order and there's probably plenty of knowledge we haven't even tapped yet, questions we didn't know to ask and you didn't think to tell us the answers to. It'd be a waste to lose so much information."
"Information?" Tyki repeated, incredulous. Lavi shrugged again, the movement no more graceful than it had been a few minutes ago.
"You thought it was something else?" he asked. Tyki just stared at him again, anger now more visible in his eyes than hurt. Good.
"I suppose that was foolish of me," he said, voice low and furious. "After all, anything else would require you to have a heart."
Lavi didn't flinch at the implication, but it was a near thing. He just shrugged again, unable to speak. His throat had completely closed over, emotion quite literally choking him.
Tyki watched him, apparently waiting for a response. When he saw that none was forthcoming, he scowled and turned.
"Very well. Don't worry, your precious 'information' is safe," he offered over his shoulder as he walked away.
"Good. I'm glad," Lavi said, voice coming out in a whisper. He doubted Tyki had even heard him. The Noah disappeared around the corner and Lavi let himself relax. His shoulders slumped and he let out a slow, shuddering breath. He turned away from the corner Tyki had disappeared around and began walking towards his room. He needed to lie down for a while, somewhere he wouldn't be disturbed. If anyone asked, he could say that his injuries were bothering him.
He was certainly feeling hurt enough.
TBC…
A/N: Really, really sorry about the length of time it took me to update. I was out of the country for two weeks and didn’t get nearly as much writing done as I wanted to.
Thank you for all your support! I’m glad you’re enjoying the fic and I hope this chapter was worth the wait. I hope to have 36 posted before I go back to school (early September) but I unfortunately do not know if I will be able to get it written and posted so quickly.
Please let me know if you noticed any mistakes and I’ll do my best to correct them! Thanks!
IMPORTANT NOTE
Well, more like shameless plug: the group I’m a part of, AssHat Productions, has a really awesome website and a chatbox, so if you have time, feel free to drop by! Here’s the link to the main page: h t t p : / / w w w . a s s h a t . 0 f e e s . n e t / (just delete the spaces) I’m usually on and so is Sister Wicked (author of such works as Fall Away and Nightmare Game) and Niamh Arawn (author of Some Sacred Place and The Fine Line)
Hope to see you there!
Author: Bookkbaby
Rating: Teen
Warnings: YAOI
Summary: LUCKY Pair. It started as a simple game of poker, but a little white lie from Lavi changes everything. ['If you lose... you spend the night here, with me, and let me do whatever I want with you.']
Warnings: YAOI, which means BOYS LOVING BOYS. If you dislike that, then the back button is easy enough to find. Please click that and leave. Limes are in the future, and lemons. Maybe some OOC, spoilers for the end of the anime later on.
Disclaimer: I don’t own these lovely characters, that honor belongs to Katsura Hoshino. (Though if Hoshino-sama ever has a sale, I call dibs on Tyki… what?) I don’t own anything but a copy of the anime series and all volumes of the manga in English. Anything you don’t recognize (like the plotline of ‘A Game of Poker’) does belong to me. Everything else… not so much. Please don’t sue.
Kudos to the awesome SisterWicked of AssHat Productions (a group I am now a proud member of), who got me started on Lucky and lets me use 'lovely'! Beta’d by N.H. Arawn and Misster Cackles! All remaining mistakes are mine.
Thank you to those who reviewed! Sorry to those who weren’t logged in - I couldn’t send review replies to you. Thank you so much! Also really, really sorry about the delay in getting this posted.
Last Time On ‘A Game Of Poker’:
"Tyki Mikk," Komui said, voice exhausted but still strong. "Welcome to the Black Order."
Tyki stared at the hand for a long moment, then looked back up at Komui's face. With a small smirk, Tyki stepped forward and took the offered hand. He shook Komui's hand once and then let it go.
"Thank you, Supervisor," he said, only the faintest hint of habitual mockery in the title.
And Now, The Continuation
Chapter 35
Burning Bridges
Lenalee lethargically opened her eyes. Her head ached and her brain felt somewhat fuzzy from her bout of unconsciousness. She blinked slowly, staring up at what seemed to be a white ceiling. The room was dim, so she couldn't quite tell. Her eyes widened a moment later as she realized where she was.
The Black Order's infirmary. Was the fighting over? Were the others all right? What had happened to Road?
Not thinking about her injuries, Lenalee shifted to push herself to a sitting position. She winced and paused as the motion made her head swim, but it was the tightening of something around her hand that made her truly stop. She jerked her gaze towards it, breath catching in fear.
-rotting hands grabbing at her, air thick with blood and decay, floor shaking and shattering beneath her feet-
The hand was normal, pale pink flesh. She lifted her gaze to the hand's owner, already knowing who it was.
Komui was slumped in a chair; his neck was bent forward, his chin resting against his chest. His beret was resting in his lap and Lenalee could see him slowly stirring. His hand was wrapped tightly around hers. Her moving had probably woken him up.
Komui lifted his head and blinked sleepily. Lenalee didn't move, cold suspicion blooming in her chest.
What had happened to Road? Had Lenalee really won? The last thing she could remember was falling, the ground rushing up to meet her and then... nothing.
"Lenalee...?" Komui's voice was filled with relief and hope.
Lenalee tugged her hand free and held it tightly to her chest as she scooted away from Komui. Her brother's eyes widened in surprise and then his expression turned pinched. Lenalee bit her lip, but didn't move back towards the white-clad man. He looked like her brother and he sounded like her brother, but so had the illusion. She couldn't afford to trust him, not when this could be another one of Road's tricks.
Komui reached for her again, trying to grab her shoulder. Lenalee jerked herself away from the hand with a muffled cry of alarm, not realizing that she was already at the mattress's edge. She fell, head striking first and scraping along the stone floor as the rest of her followed. Lenalee winced, hissing through gritted teeth at the pain.
"Lenalee!"
She heard the back of Komui's chair hit the floor and then the sound of footsteps moving quickly around the bed towards her. Lenalee sat up, panicked, and scrambled backwards as quickly as she could while still tangled in the sheets. Her back hit the wall as Komui rounded the corner of the mattress and turned towards her. He stopped a little more than three steps away from her, as though worried about frightening her.
"Are you all right?" Lenalee could still hear a mixture of concern and pain in his voice.
For a moment, she saw the image of her brother's rotting corpse superimposed over the man before her. Her heart sped up, breathing become shallow in fear, and she pressed her back against the wall.
Komui took a step closer. Lenalee flinched and looked away. She heard Komui stop, but didn't look up at his face. She watched his feet, trembling when her mind conjured up images of blood and maggots eating and the rotting smell of human corpses-
"Lenalee?"
She didn't look up. She could hear him moving to kneel on the floor in front of her, but her eyes had stopped focusing.
"Lenalee? Look at me, please?"
She pressed herself more firmly to the wall, flinching when she noticed movement through her blurred vision. The motion stopped.
"Lenalee?" His voice was so gentle, so warm. The first illusion's voice had been the same. "Do you remember me?"
"Do you remember me?"
Lenalee began to shake.
"I'm your brother, Komui Lee."
"I'm your brother, Komui-"
"You're an illusion."
This was another illusion. She hadn't won. She would have to watch her brother die all over again. She would have to watch all of her friends die until she found Road's real body.
The Ark had only been the beginning.
"You were fighting Road and you hit your head. The Nurse told me you might have lost some of your memories."
"I'm not an illusion. You won the fight with Road but you took a nasty hit to the head. I was told you might have lost some of your memory."
She couldn't do it again.
"Lenalee?"
Komui sounded so worried, exactly like her brother would sound if he saw her now. She could feel herself shaking and she swallowed hard, trying to still her limbs. She had to keep it together, she had to face this, had to, had to...
"Lenalee!" He was frantic now.
Lenalee swallowed heavily again and raised her head. For a moment, when she looked at Komui's face, all she could see were maggots crawling through his eyes, blood pouring from the corners of his mouth and one cheek eaten away to reveal the bones beneath. Her stomach lurched and she jerked her gaze away, taking in a deep, shuddering breath to try and control the sudden nausea.
"Lena-" He reached for her, shifting forward on the floor as he extended his hand towards her shoulder.
"No!" Lenalee cried out, body moving on instinct. She tried to kick, but her legs were still tangled in the sheets and the blow only barely reached Komui's chest. Her foot tapped against him without any force. Lenalee felt her insides freeze when she caught sight of her bare foot.
Her Innocence was gone.
Her breathing began to speed up. She tried to calm herself down, tried to take slower, deeper breaths, but every breath was shallower than the last no matter how she tried to even out her breathing.
Komui, momentarily stunned by the fact that she had tried to kick him, sprang back into action. He moved backwards, extending the distance between himself and Lenalee by a few feet. He stopped when he was just beyond reach, apparently unwilling to move any further. Lenalee's breathing slowed somewhat and she lowered her foot, still staring at her toes.
"Lenalee?" Komui asked her softly. His voice was carefully gentle and was as soothing as he could make it. "Can you hear me? Please, just nod or shake your head."
Slowly, Lenalee nodded. She kept staring at her feet. She couldn't look at Komui. This was an illusion, just another illusion, and she needed to pull herself together and fight. Like this, she'd fall to pieces if she had to watch her brother die again. She had to be strong.
"What's scaring you?" he asked her, voice still kind. She could hear him swallow thickly and his voice was strained when he spoke next. "Am I scaring you? Do you remember me?"
"You're not my brother," Lenalee whispered, not looking up at Komui. Her shakes had subsided and now her body was merely trembling. Her heart still raced, but it was calming down too.
She would win this time. She had to.
"What?" Komui's voice was still soothing. He hadn't heard her.
"You're not my brother," Lenalee repeated firmly, lifting her head to meet his gaze. Komui was stunned, hurt visible in his eyes. Lenalee felt her chest tighten and she shut her eyes and shook her head. "You're a fake."
"Lena-" She looked up and saw him reaching for her again.
"No!" Lenalee quickly struggled to her feet, off-balanced and wobbling. She shoved off the sheet and flattening her back against the wall. She stared down at Komui, who was still kneeling on the ground with his arm half-reaching for where she had been. Komui looked up at her and slowly rose to his feet. He kept his knees slightly bent, trying to stay at eye-level with her. His expression was tight and pained. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Komui took a deep breath and shut his mouth.
"This is another illusion," Lenalee said, more to herself than to Komui. She could hear the waver in her voice, one created by equal parts fear and uncertainty. "It's just an illusion."
Komui's expression grew more shocked, hope seeping into his eyes.
"Lenalee, no. This is real. You're safe," he said quickly. "The battle is over. One of the medical teams found you and brought you in-"
"Do you remember waking up in the medical wing?"
"That's what you said last time!" Lenalee said. She took a deep breath, starting to shake again. "I can't- I don't want to do this. Not again... but I have to. I can't give up, I can't-"
She cut herself off with a choked gasp, staring wide-eyed at Komui. The image of his rotting corpse was superimposed over his body and all she could see were the maggots crawling behind his glasses, blood covering him from chin to navel-
The corpse reached for her.
"No!" she screamed, lifting her arms to shove the offending limb away. Komui stopped, though he didn't drop his arm.
"Lenalee, you're all right now," he said gently, coaxingly. "You're in the medical wing at the Order. You hit your head pretty badly. That's probably why you don't remember, but you're safe. The battle is over and you're safe."
Lenalee shook her head, keeping her eyes fixed on the corpse's outstretched arm. She could see the bone where the flesh of his fingers had been eaten away and what flesh remained had a sickening grayish tinge.
"You're dead," she whispered, inching away from Komui while keeping her back pressed to the wall.
"Dead?" Komui asked, sounding shocked. He shook his head. "No, I'm fine. We're safe, Lenalee. You're safe and I'm not dead."
He reached out for her. Lenalee jerked away from him with a muffled cry and he retracted his hand as though he had been burned. Lenalee felt a pang of regret for hurting him, but this was an illusion. This wasn't her brother.
"It's only an illusion. An illusion," she whispered.
"What can I do to get you to believe that this isn't an illusion?" Komui asked her, tone more than just a little pleading. Lenalee wavered.
"Lenalee, please?"
Lenalee shut her eyes and took another deep breath.
"Can you tell me anything that would prove this isn't an illusion?" she asked softly. Komui was quiet.
"I don't know," he answered finally. "What would prove to you that this is real?"
Lenalee opened her eyes slowly. Swallowing heavily, she lifted her gaze to Komui.
Komui smiled weakly at her, showing her that maggots had invaded his mouth too and that his gums had already rotted away to nothing. Lenalee shuddered and looked at the large, gaping wound in his chest. Maggots crawled around in the exposed innards, the white coat around it stained with blood. Lenalee's stomach rebelled but she lifted a trembling hand, ignoring her nausea.
All the dead people in the illusion had felt like decaying corpses. Their bodies had been soft from rot, nothing like the firm feeling of another living being's flesh. If she concentrated, she could see Komui behind the image of his corpse. Which one was real? The image of the corpse or the image of Komui?
She reached out, stepping closer and pressing her palm to her brother's chest over where his heart would be. Komui didn't move.
The material of his coat was soft, not rough or sticky with blood. His flesh was firm. His heart beat soothingly under her hand, steady and calm.
He was alive.
The memory shattered under her hand. There was no blood, no maggots, no exposed bones. Komui was alive.
Lenalee felt tears well up in her eyes and her knees suddenly went weak from relief. Her hand tightened in the material of his jacket. She slumped forward, trusting her older brother to hold her weight.
He let out a startled noise and his arms came up around her, catching her. Komui held her carefully, arms tensed as though he half-expected her to shove him away again.
Lenalee began crying. Her shoulders shook and she buried her face in Komui's shoulder.
"Lenalee?" Komui asked carefully. There was a clear undercurrent of worry in his voice.
"I'm sorry, brother," she said quietly, breathing unevenly. This was real. She was safe.
Komui's arms relaxed and he held her protectively, one hand rubbing soothing circles on her upper back. For a moment, Lenalee felt like she was a little girl again, being carried by her brother and being comforted by him after a nightmare. In a way, she supposed that was exactly what she was.
"It's all right, Lenalee," Komui said. "I'm right here. You're safe."
Lenalee didn't reply, just held on tighter. Tears kept pouring down her face and soaking Komui's shoulder, but neither sibling really noticed or cared. Komui unconsciously began to sway, as though Lenalee really were a child that could be rocked back to sleep. His hand never stopped making soft circles on her back, his voice softly reassuring her that she was safe, he was alive, and the Order had won.
Lenalee's eyes slid shut, her grip on his coat becoming looser. Her tears had stopped and she felt exhaustion welling up.
She fell asleep to the sound of Komui's voice and the feel of his heart beating beneath her hand.
LINE BREAK
Komui kept rocking his sister gently, still rubbing circles on her back after she had fallen asleep. He could hear her breathing, deep and even, and she was dead weight against him. The motions were as much a comfort for him as they had been for her.
He had come to the medical wing as soon as he had been able to get away, terrified of what he might find. The only two Exorcists known to have fought Road were Lavi and the late General Kevin Yeeger, and the deceased General's mind had been completely destroyed by Road. Komui had spent the hours by Lenalee's bedside carefully not thinking about how Lenalee's mind might have been wiped blank by Road's attack. He had simply sat by his sister's bed, holding her hand and willing her to wake.
She had been hurt, certainly, and worse off than Lavi had been after fighting Road, but she hadn't been broken. She would be fine.
The sound of the door opening caught his attention. Startled, he turned his head towards the door, careful to keep his body still so that Lenalee wouldn't fall. Access to this room was restricted to the Head Nurse, her assistants, Exorcists, and the Supervisor, so who-?
The Head Nurse stood in the doorway, looking extremely displeased. Komui winced, turning away from her and cringing. Lenalee wasn't supposed to be out of bed; he had no clue how the Nurse had known, but-
"A Howard Link is here to see you, Supervisor," the Head Nurse said icily. "I was told to /fetch/ you and tell you to go back to your office immediately."
Komui felt suddenly cold.
"Link...?" he repeated. He felt Lenalee begin to slip from his hold and tightened his arms around her before she fell.
"And just what is my patient doing out of bed?" the Nurse asked pointedly, though her voice had warmed a little. Komui smiled thinly.
"She woke up," he replied. He bent carefully and lifted Lenalee. He turned around slowly and cautiously laid her in her bed, setting her head gently on the pillow and arranging her limbs comfortably. He picked the sheet up off the floor where she had dropped it and pulled it over her, tucking it under her chin. Lenalee didn't stir. Komui watched her for a moment, looking for any sign of distress. He sighed, relieved and yet resigned.
"I'll be back soon," he promised quietly. He turned and followed the Head Nurse out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind himself.
LINE BREAK
Komui stepped into his office, controlling his frown when he noticed that said office was already occupied. Leverrier was sitting in the chair across from Komui's desk with his back to the door. Link was standing just off to the side and behind Leverrier's chair, half turned towards the door. Komui gave him a tight, insincere smile and nodded briefly before shutting the door behind himself and making his way to his desk. He avoided the few stacks of paperwork out of habit and then pulled out his chair, keenly aware of two pairs of eyes watching him. He sat down and tried to make himself comfortable, avoiding eye contact with either of the men staring at him.
There could be no good reason for Leverrier to show up, but he doubted that the Inspector was here because of the attack earlier today. Komui hadn't even had time to begin the necessary paperwork to inform his superiors that the Main Branch Headquarters had been compromised and that they'd need to move into a new building. He wasn't even certain whether or not Central HQ knew about the attack yet.
Taking a deep but silent breath, Komui lifted his head and met Leverrier's gaze squarely. Komui didn't bother smiling.
"What brings you here so late, Inspector?" he asked politely. Even if this didn't have anything to do with the battle, there were a few other things Komui could think of that the higher-ups at Central HQ might want to poke their noses into.
Leverrier smiled almost pleasantly. As usual for the man, the expression didn't reach his eyes. Leverrier leaned back in his chair, outwardly relaxed. Komui tensed.
"I was on my way here to discuss a certain Exorcist's use of the Ark against the Central Headquarters' official policy when I heard a rather interesting rumor, Supervisor," Leverrier replied, tone going dangerously soft and eyes going flinty. Komui held the Inspector's gaze.
"And what rumor was that?" he asked, though he had a sneaking suspicion he already knew. Leverrier dropped the smile and leaned forward slightly.
"The rumor that the Main Branch has been harboring a member of the Noah Family," he said. "The rumor that, for months, a Noah has lived inside the walls of this building without Central Headquarters being informed."
Komui forced himself to not react to the accusation in Leverrier's voice. There was no way to deny it, not when it was basically true.
"If by 'harbored' you mean kept locked up under twenty-four hour guard, even after he had been vouched for by an Exorcist," Komui replied evenly. "The Noah has provided information that has proven very valuable to the scientists here. Besides the information, he helped repel an attack made on this building by the Earl and the other Noah. Without his assistance, you probably would have arrived to find charred rubble and piles of dust."
Leverrier's expression didn't change.
"And your reasons for not informing Central? I'm sure you have excellent reasons for keeping this secret."
"The paperwork must have gotten lost somewhere," Komui lied, knowing perfectly well that he hadn't done it. When Tyki Mikk had first arrived, it had been because both Allen and Lavi had made illegal use of the Ark. Allen hadn't needed the second strike against him and Lavi certainly didn't need the first, not when Central was already decidedly uneasy about the presence of Bookman and his apprentice in the Order. Afterwards, Komui had been so busy with asking Tyki questions and verifying his answers that explaining why a Noah was living in Headquarters to Central had fallen by the wayside. "I'd be more than happy to resubmit my report."
Leverrier was quiet for a moment.
"'Lost'," he echoed quietly. "Of course. The report was just lost in the mail, I'm sure."
Komui felt a shiver go down his spine. As long as Leverrier couldn't prove that Komui had willfully neglected to inform his superiors, Komui was safe. Still, from the way Leverrier spoke, Komui knew that the man would go digging for any shred of evidence he could find.
"Were my requests for Allen Walker to be disciplined for his unauthorized usage of the Ark similarly 'lost'?" Leverrier asked coolly. Komui forced a strained smile onto his face.
"I don't know. There have been a few unfortunate accidents with paperwork lately; coffee gets spilled or a pen explodes, or sometimes papers have been dropped into the incinerator. Accidentally. Perhaps your requests were among them?"
Leverrier's eyes narrowed.
"If you'd like, you could fill out another form and submit it," Komui said brightly. "But then again, it has already been more than thirty days since Allen Walker used the Ark to save Kanda Yuu. The paperwork would need to have been filed before now, so I'm afraid there's nothing that can be done to punish him for that incident."
"Terribly unfortunate, that both of my requests were destroyed," Leverrier said, watching Komui intently. Komui nodded somewhat stiffly, trying to keep the smile on his face.
"Terribly unfortunate," he agreed. Leverrier nodded and leaned back in his chair.
"Now, about the Noah..." Leverrier said. "I am certain that Central will be receiving a full report from you on the Noah very soon-"
Komui nodded again.
"-but I have a few questions of my own I want answered now."
Komui tensed.
"If you submit your questions to me in writing-" he began, but Leverrier cut him off.
"Of course," he said, a hint of smugness and steel in his tone. "If you want them in writing, I'll have them for you tomorrow. While I'm here, I may just decide to do a little investigating on the 'accidents' that keep happening to important paperwork in this office. All humans make mistakes, but it doesn't do for a Supervisor to be... careless."
Komui's hands tightened on the armrests of his chair. He tried to relax, keeping his face placid as his heart froze inside his chest.
"Or," Leverrier continued, voice silky. "Perhaps I'll choose to investigate the Exorcists stationed here. If an Exorcist might be more useful somewhere else, it would be my duty to write a recommendation for that Exorcist to be reassigned..."
All the breath seemed to have left Komui's lungs. The threats were clear; 'answer my questions now, or I'll do my best to remove you from your post or get Lenalee taken away from you'. There was no real choice.
"What do you want to know?" Komui asked carefully. His gaze darted to Link. The light-haired man hadn't spoken a word, but Komui knew that he had to be listening and remembering everything he said. Komui couldn't avoid answering Leverrier's questions, but he didn't have to be entirely truthful either.
"Does Tyki Mikk have control over his Noah?" Leverrier asked promptly. Komui blinked, startled.
What was Leverrier asking that for?
"I would guess so," Komui said. "Enough to ensure that he won't attack an Order member or an Exorcist, I'm sure."
Leverrier leaned forward again.
"But does he have complete control? Enough to control himself when his Noah is brought to the surface completely?"
Komui's mind flashed back to the battle, to watching a transformed Tyki Mikk attack the Earl. Slowly, he nodded.
"Yes," he said. "At least, he has enough control over himself to attack the Earl while transformed."
Leverrier leaned back again, a smile on his face. It was a thoroughly satisfied expression, one that actually reached his eyes and was far more chilling for it. Komui shivered.
"Anything else?" he asked shortly. Leverrier seemed to consider and then shook his head.
"That's enough for now. If I have more questions, I'm sure you will answer them." Leverrier stood and tugged at the bottom of his uniform jacket until it lay perfectly flat on his chest.
"Of course, Inspector," Komui said through gritted teeth, keeping his gaze on the man.
Leverrier nodded in an almost mocking show of respect and turned to go. Link nodded a bit more respectfully and followed Leverrier out of Komui's office. Komui sat at his desk and watched them leave. He studied the closed door for several seconds before releasing his white-knuckled grip on the armrests of his chair and buried his face in one of his hands.
He didn't know why Leverrier was so interested in Tyki, but it couldn't be for anything good. Answering Leverrier's questions was a bad idea, but what other choice did Komui have? If Leverrier found evidence that Komui had deliberately destroyed requests for discipline, Komui's ability as a leader would be called into question. At the very least, Komui would be dragged into hearings to prove his worthiness and at worst he'd be removed from his post without question. A Supervisor who couldn't do their job was a liability.
Komui refused to be separated from his sister. Lenalee needed him, now more than ever. Road's attack had made her vulnerable and Komui would be damned before he let her regress back to the state he had found her in when he had finally managed to become the Supervisor in charge of her.
He'd have to tread carefully. He couldn't lose Lenalee, but he refused to simply withdraw his protection from the other Exorcists. Leverrier had come here originally because of Allen Walker and Komui didn't believe it was simply because Allen had broken the rules about using the Ark. There had to be another reason Leverrier was so interested in Allen and that didn't bode well for the white-haired boy.
Komui couldn't protect everyone, but he would do the best that he could to protect as many as possible. Especially from men like Leverrier.
Swallowing heavily, he sent a silent apology to the Noah. Komui would do his best, but if it came down to losing Lenalee or handing Tyki Mikk over to Leverrier...
He didn't want to have to make that choice, but he had a sick feeling that, in the future, he might need to.
He swallowed again. He couldn't lose Lenalee.
"I'm sorry."
LINE BREAK
Leverrier walked down the deserted hallway with measured steps. Link kept pace behind him. Their footsteps echoed lightly.
"We have informants here, correct?" Leverrier asked calmly.
"Correct, Inspector," Link replied.
"Have them keep a closer eye on Allen Walker. Get a few to monitor the Noah. I want a full report of his abilities and how much control he appears to have over his Noah."
"Understood."
The two walked in silence for a moment, a slight but disturbing grin on Leverrier's face.
LINE BREAK
"You don't mind if I sit here, do you?"
Tyki looked up from his lunch, so startled he dropped the shrimp he had just managed to spear with his fork.
Allen Walker stood in the aisle on the other side of the table, balancing three trays piled with food. The white haired boy was smiling slightly, though there was a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. Tyki managed to nod and shifted a bit in his seat, somewhat uncomfortable. Tyki was an expert on how to charm people and had confidence aplenty, but there was no word other than 'awkward' that adequately described his situation.
There was no graceful way to go from trying to kill people to trying to be their comrade. If there was, Tyki did not know it.
Allen nodded and set the trays down on the table, taking care to not spill so much as a drop of milk or morsel of food. He had just gotten out of the infirmary and had decided to celebrate by ordering all of his favorites. Jerry, as always, had been overjoyed to see the white-haired boy back on his feet and had whipped up Allen's order in about half the time it usually took.
"Thanks," Allen said with apparent sincerity, reaching for a bowl of some kind of soup and pulling it towards himself.
"Having trouble finding a seat, were you?" Tyki asked dryly, briefly glancing around the room at the many empty tables. It was well past the lunch rush, so there were only a handful of people in the dining hall. Tyki had grown accustomed to eating late since the hush that fell over any room he walked into was a bit unsettling. He re-speared the errant shrimp and ate it, chewing thoughtfully and keeping his eyes on the Exorcist across from him.
Allen didn't answer for a moment but met Tyki's gaze steadily.
"I wanted to talk to you about the battle," he said. Tyki's gaze flicked to the bruises visible on the boy's neck.
"I see," he said. Allen noticed the direction of Tyki's gaze and shook his head.
"That's not what I wanted to talk about," he said, putting a hand to his neck to hide them from sight. He sighed and dropped his hand, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
Tyki raised an eyebrow in question.
"That's at least the fourth attempt I've made on your life, direct or indirect," he said lowly, speaking just loud enough for Allen to hear. "If I had expected any Exorcist to come sit with me, I would not have expected you."
Tyki would have expected Lavi. At least, he would have expected Lavi before the redhead had left him after their second night of sleeping next to each other. Now, with both Lavi's cold rejection of him and his quiet plea for Tyki to be safe ringing in his head, the Noah didn't know what to expect from the redhead anymore.
"And that's not what you came to discuss?" Tyki continued, still keeping his tone soft and allowing some of his incredulity to seep into his voice. Granted, Allen had seemed rather accepting of him during the battle, but that had been a life-or-death situation. Things were relatively calm now, though Tyki had heard rumors that the Order would be moving to a new building.
Allen shook his head again.
"You wouldn't have tried to strangle me if you were in complete control of yourself," he said, speaking just as softly as Tyki had. Allen's voice was full of conviction and almost dismissive of his brush with death. Tyki just stared, stunned. "I don't think you'd try transforming again unless you had no choice, right?"
The Noah nodded mutely. Allen smiled thinly.
"So it's not a big concern for me." He paused, gaze dropping to Tyki's chest and then back up. "Does your injury still hurt?"
"Injury?" Tyki asked, glancing down reflexively. He looked back up, shaking his head. "From Crown Clown?"
Allen nodded. Tyki shook his head again, more firmly.
"No. It still twinges, but that will fade and so will the scar." The last ones had, after all, though it had taken a while for them to be gone entirely. Allen smiled, relief evident in his expression.
"That's good," he said, reaching for a small roll and buttering it quickly. He ate half of it in one bite.
"I confess I'm somewhat surprised you asked," Tyki said, toying with another shrimp on his plate. "Or have you forgotten that we were enemies not too long ago?"
Allen shrugged, chewing and swallowing.
"We're not enemies anymore."
"You sound so certain," Tyki mused, turning back to his lunch. Many people still regarded him with suspicion, he knew, especially Exorcists and any Finders who had been unfortunate enough to come across his handiwork in the past. The Finders that were less familiar with Tyki's history were somewhat friendly - a few even gave him looks suggesting that they could be /very/ friendly if he'd let them - but even they kept their distance.
"Lavi trusts you."
Tyki couldn't resist chuckling at that. He reached for his water glass and took a slow sip from it before looking back at Allen.
"What is it you wanted to talk about, boy?" he asked, setting the glass down. Allen regarded him seriously.
"What you did during the battle, with the Akuma..." He hesitated. "I know you had to and I don't blame you for it, but please tell me you'll never do that again."
"'What I did'..." Tyki echoed, forehead furrowed in brief puzzlement before he realized what the boy meant. "You're talking about how I ordered them to self-destruct."
Allen nodded.
"Doing that saved a lot of people in that battle, but it also destroyed the souls trapped inside the Akuma," he said, voice dripping with pain and regret. "Unless an Akuma is destroyed by Innocence..." His voice trailed off.
"You want me to promise that I'll never order another Akuma to self-destruct?" Tyki asked cautiously, just for confirmation. Allen nodded firmly. Tyki considered for a moment, toying with his glass.
"I couldn't promise that," he finally said. Allen's face fell. "I could promise to never do it unless there were extenuating circumstances, but in either case the point is moot."
Allen frowned, confused.
"What do you mean?" he asked. Tyki took another sip from his water before answering.
"After I betrayed the Earl, he stopped programming Akuma to respond to my orders. There may still be a few that were created before I left the Family, but I doubt there are too many left that would respond to such an order from me," he said simply, setting his glass down and picking up his fork. He began eating his lunch once more.
"Oh," Allen said quietly. He began eating his soup again, first slowly, and then with more energy. Tyki idly scanned the dining area. There were a few stragglers getting last-minute orders before Jerry closed the kitchen so the cooks could get a break between lunch and dinner. Among the stragglers was another Exorcist Tyki recognized; the long-haired swordsman. Tyki was fairly certain the boy's name was Kanda. Tyki was absolutely positive that Kanda was glaring daggers at him.
He snorted quietly. It took more than that to intimidate him.
"Tyki?"
The Noah turned back to Allen, noting with some surprise that most of the white-haired boy's food had disappeared in the time it had taken him to glance around the room. The Exorcist seemed hesitant and opened and closed his mouth a few times, each time hastily shoving more food in to cover his reluctance. Tyki waited, somewhat anxious about what it was Allen was so nervous about asking.
"What is it, boy?" Tyki asked after the third aborted attempt. Allen swallowed the food in his mouth.
"You can call me Allen, you know," he said, somewhat petulantly. Tyki waited for him to continue. That wasn't what Allen had wanted to say.
Allen sighed.
"What's going on between you and Lavi?"
Tyki bit his tongue on the response that leapt to his lips; even though it really was none of Allen's business, Tyki knew that he wouldn't be half as touchy about the subject if he wasn't so uncertain himself. Things had been so much clearer between them before Tyki had ever set foot in the Order.
Tyki picked at his food, not truly hungry anymore.
"I don't know," he said finally. Allen nodded but didn't speak, silently encouraging Tyki to speak. Tyki just as quietly declined the request and silence fell over the table. They continued eating in silence, Allen polishing off the rest of his food and starting in on his mitarashi dango in short order. The quiet was almost companionable before being broken by a gruff demand.
"What the hell are you doing, idiot beansprout?"
Allen and Tyki both looked up from their meals, Allen half-scowling and Tyki's face a careful mask.
Kanda nearly slammed his tray down on the table and sat next to Allen, shooting a hate-filled glare at Tyki as he did so. Tyki inclined his head in a greeting that was a hair too shallow to be truly polite. Kanda's glare darkened.
Allen elbowed the swordsman, not even attempting to be subtle. Kanda's glare faded to a scowl as his harsh gaze switched victims.
"What?" he demanded.
"There are plenty of open tables," Allen said waspishly. "Sit somewhere else if you're going to be like that."
"Che. I'll sit where I want to," Kanda replied, turning to his food and snapping his chopsticks apart. The swordsman shot one last glare at Tyki before he began to eat.
"Forgive me for having trouble believing that you actually want to sit here," Allen muttered sarcastically, picking up another stick of dango.
"Che."
Tyki looked from one Exorcist to the other with interest, a small smirk forming on his face. He had to admit that he didn't personally know either of them very well, but he had had plenty of experience with people in general. Allen was not the type of person to get angry very easily, that much was obvious to anyone who met the boy, but Kanda had managed it with a sentence and a look.
Tyki hadn't seen much of Kanda, but what he had seen was very telling. The way Kanda had become infuriated when Tyki had threatened Allen all those weeks ago had been a hint, but that was nothing compared to how possessive of Allen the swordsman seemed now.
Tyki had never seen Allen or Kanda interact with each other before now, but he made a mental note to watch them more often in the future. It promised him some amusement, at least. Perhaps Lavi would find it as amusing as he did. His smirk faded.
He needed to talk to Lavi. Soon.
He saw a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. Hopeful, he turned his gaze towards it quickly.
Lavi stood in the doorway to the dining hall, eye wide and mouth slightly agape. Tyki and Lavi stayed like that for several long seconds, gazes locked, and then Lavi shut his mouth and turned abruptly. The redhead walked hastily out of the hall, turning left when he reached the corridor.
Tyki looked back at his dinner companions. Neither had apparently noticed Lavi's arrival and quick departure.
"I'm afraid I must go now, if you'll excuse me..." Tyki said, standing up. Allen nodded politely. Kanda grunted, still glaring. Tyki's eyes narrowed in reply.
"Thank you, Tyki," Allen said. There was a small bit of mitarashi sauce next to his mouth. Tyki's gaze flicked to it and then back to Kanda. He smirked.
It wouldn't hurt to needle the swordsman just a little bit...
Tyki leaned forward a bit, putting one hand on the table for balance.
"You're welcome, Allen," he said, putting just a little bit of emphasis on the name. He could almost hear Kanda's murderous intent rising and his smirk widened. "I enjoyed our... talk."
Allen stared up at him, expression one of wide-eyed innocence. Tyki lifted his other hand and slid it across Allen's face, wiping up the mitarashi sauce.
Allen blinked, startled by the unexpected motion. Tyki moved back a bit.
"You had some sauce on your face," he offered casually, lifting his thumb to his mouth and licking it clean. "Delicious. Jerry really is an excellent cook."
He snuck a glance at Kanda. If he had thought the boy angry before, that was nothing compared to how furious the swordsman looked now. If looks could kill, Tyki was very certain that he'd be dying at least in at least a hundred different extremely painful ways.
His gaze moved back to Allen just in time to see the white-haired boy look thoughtfully at Kanda. The dark-haired Exorcist didn't notice, too busy glaring for all he was worth at Tyki and gripping his chopsticks so hard they snapped. It was extremely fortunate that he didn't have his sword with him, else he would have attacked the moment Tyki had leaned forward.
Allen's gaze returned to Tyki and the boy pasted on a bright smile.
"Thanks again," he said with apparent sincerity. "I'll see you later?"
Tyki could hear Kanda snarling in wordless rage but ignored him and nodded at Allen.
"Of course." With a polite nod, he turned and left. He abandoned his tray, knowing that he had lost enough time already. He would probably lose all chance of following Lavi if he took the time to return it properly. He could apologize for his negligence later.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing, beansprout?" Kanda demanded in a hiss as Tyki left. Allen regarded him, radiating an air of innocence.
"I don't know what you mean," he answered, playing dumb. Kanda growled and grabbed Allen's arm, forcefully turning the other Exorcist to face him. Allen frowned.
"What are you-"
"He's a goddamn Noah," Kanda snarled, more venom concentrated into his voice than ever before. Allen's frown faded, surprise taking its place. "He's the enemy."
Allen studied Kanda's face. It was clear that the swordsman was furious, angrier than Allen could remember ever seeing him before. It wasn't the simple kind of rage the swordsman had for all of their enemies; that was nothing personal and was kind of cool and detached in its own way. This was a burning-hot anger and was definitely personal.
"Why are you so angry?" Allen asked, unable to help himself. Kanda blinked, briefly taken aback, then scowled darkly.
"Che. Fucking idiot," Kanda growled, releasing Allen's arm and standing. He seized his tray with a quick, jerky motion and knocked over his cup of tea. Allen jerked back as the hot liquid splashed over the edge. The broth that came with Kanda's beloved soba didn't escape Kanda's fury either - it sloshed over the sides of the bowl as Kanda pivoted and stomped away from Allen.
Allen watched him go, bemused.
LINE BREAK
Lavi walked along the hall to the dining room. It was almost time for the kitchen staff to take a break before dinner, so hopefully the place would be mostly deserted. It wasn't that the redhead didn't want company; speaking with someone would be a welcome distraction from thinking. It was just a certain person's company he was hoping to avoid.
“Be safe.”
He shouldn't have said that. His heart had taken temporary control of his vocal cords, but he couldn't afford to slip up again. Now that Tyki was free to wander around, it would be almost impossible to avoid the man. Lavi's reaction had been very mixed when he had overheard that bit of news while recovering in the infirmary. There had been, first and foremost, a stunned sort of relief that Tyki was alive and apparently mostly unharmed. On its heels was a sick, stomach-churning dread that he'd actually need to talk to the man again. Lavi was fairly certain that the only reason that Tyki hadn't confronted him yet was because the section of the infirmary Lavi had been in was off-limits to most people. Not that any guard would have been able to keep Tyki out; the risk of being put back in chains for breaking rules so soon after Tyki had earned the Order's tentative trust, however...
There were plenty of people who wouldn't look kindly on a Noah sneaking into the rooms of wounded Exorcists, no matter how reformed that Noah was or what his intentions were.
When they spoke again, Lavi wouldn't need to just simply burn the bridge. He'd need to tear it down until no fragments remained and then completely incinerate it to make sure that there was no remnant left. Acting the way he had been was only confusing Tyki and making things much more difficult for Lavi.
Tyki would keep pursuing him until the Noah was convinced that there was no chance they would be together again. There couldn't be a chance; Lavi just had to convince Tyki of that. The redhead, for his part, was already painfully aware of that fact.
He stepped into the dining hall, gaze downcast. He took a deep breath, vowing to shove those thoughts aside for now. He intended to avoid Tyki for as long as possible anyway, so wondering how best to dissuade Tyki from pursuing an impossible relationship wasn't necessary quite yet. All it was accomplishing was deepening the metaphorical injury in his chest Lavi knew no medicine could help.
He looked up and immediately wished he hadn't.
Of course the one person he wanted to avoid just happened to be sitting in the first seat Lavi's gaze landed upon. That was just how his luck worked. For a moment, the redhead couldn't bring himself to move. He stared at Tyki, the ache in his chest growing deeper.
He absently noted that the Noah was sitting with Allen and Kanda. That was odd, though it didn't really merit further consideration. It was just a visual reminder that Tyki was slowly but surely being accepted by the Order. He didn't need Lavi anymore. For anything.
Lavi stared, throat nearly closing off from the emotions pouring through him. It wasn't fair. He couldn't even sit next to Tyki now. It would be too risky, since he still wanted to hold the older man and be held by him. To maintain any sort of unprofessional relationship was a bad idea. A really, really bad idea.
It didn't stop Lavi from wanting to.
Just then, Tyki looked up. Lavi's eye widened with shock and sudden anxiety. He hadn't expected to get caught staring. He should have left the second he had noticed Tyki was there. He didn't move. The Noah's dark eyes seemed to hold him in place, gazes locked for several heartbeats.
Lavi shut his mouth, not having been conscious of opening it, and swallowed heavily. He tore his gaze away, breaking the connection, and spun on his heel. He needed to get out of here. Now. At least he wasn't hungry anymore; his appetite seemed to have fled.
Lavi walked swiftly to the door and turned left, barely stopping himself from breaking into a run. He took deep breaths as he walked, trying to calm his racing heart. He'd go hide in the library. Or in his room. Somewhere, anywhere so long as he could put off this conversation.
He took the first hallway he could. The more complicated he made his path, the harder it would be for anyone to follow. It was a pity that there weren't more forks in his path, but that couldn't be helped. The layout of the area near the kitchen was a bit too simple for Lavi's comfort, but hopefully he had managed to get away quickly enough...
A hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder and spun him around.
"Wha-" Lavi's voice caught in his throat.
Tyki's hand tightened, his grip like iron. His expression was serious, bordering on solemn.
"You and I," he said firmly, eyes narrowed slightly. "Need to talk."
Lavi swallowed heavily and relaxed his face into an unconcerned expression. His heart pounded.
"About what?" he asked, yanking his shoulder out of Tyki's grip and wincing as the motion tugged on his wound. It promptly began throbbing. "I thought I said all I needed to weeks ago."
Tyki's eyes narrowed further. He looked actually angry; Lavi shivered almost imperceptibly. Had he ever seen Tyki actually angry? Annoyed, sure, but never actually angry.
"You'll find that I disagree," he said dryly. He made a show of glancing around. "Do you know a room where we can have this discussion in private? Unless you'd prefer to air our dirty laundry here..."
"I told you, I've said all I needed to," Lavi forced himself to say. The words felt oddly thick on his tongue and his throat was uncomfortably tight. He coughed to clear it before continuing. "You can't give me anything I couldn't get somewhere else. I've already been getting it somewhere else, if you know what I mean."
A white lie. Tyki didn't need to know that. Lavi felt his chest grow heavy when Tyki actually looked taken aback and then hurt by Lavi's statement. Tyki quickly covered it up, but for a second the pain had been clear.
"You moved on rather quickly," he said, voice on the verge of snapping. Lavi shrugged, hoping the movement didn't look as tense as he felt.
"I didn't see any reason not to," he said with what he hoped sounded like sincere casualness. He smiled thinly at Tyki. "You were interesting for a while, that's it. I'm done dallying with you."
He felt like his tongue should shrivel up. It was as though he was an observer, watching someone else use his body to lie to Tyki like this. His shoulder still throbbed a bit, but the sensation was faint. Inconsequential. The painful throbbing in his chest was much more immediate.
Tyki didn't respond for almost a minute, just stared at Lavi's face as though looking for a crack in the mask. Lavi's thin smile held up under the weight of that stare, though his heart quivered. In the depths of Tyki's eyes, he could see pain.
"I had thought," Tyki said, voice clipped. "That once I was free, we could spend more time together. I had thought that you would be in my bed as many nights as you could."
"Well,-" Lavi began, but Tyki wasn't done.
"I had thought," he said, voice dangerously soft. "That I would have the pleasure of waking up next to you for every one of our morning afters."
"-you thought wrong," Lavi finished weakly. He ached. How could he have ever thought that he was getting over this? This was no less painful than it had been the last time they had been together.
Images began to play back in his head, not true memories but fantasies based off of them. What would it have been like, one of those nights he had slept next to the Noah, to simply lay in bed and wait for the sun to rise? What would it have been like to press kisses to Tyki's sleeping face and lips until the older man woke up? What would it have been like to be awoken in such a manner himself?
He'd never know.
"I suppose I did," Tyki said, voice cold. Lavi nodded, motion jerky. "It really never meant anything to you, lovely?"
"I told you not to call me that," Lavi said flatly. The use of the pet name sent a spike of longing through him. He fought to keep his expression clear. "And no. It didn't."
Tyki didn't respond, expression unreadable. Lavi looked away. He couldn't stand to watch.
"Are we done here, then?" he asked, trying to sound exasperated. He barely managed 'tired'. The redhead was just happy his voice hadn't wavered. "I've got things I have to do..." Like mourn the fact that whatever had been between him and Tyki was now truly over. There was no easy way back from statements like 'I don't need you' and 'I'm sleeping with someone else'. Not unless Tyki was totally desperate, but the Noah had too much pride to beg Lavi to come back to him.
"Not yet," Tyki said. "I want you to answer one last question for me."
Lavi faced Tyki again and lifted his chin a bit, projecting as much confidence as his could while his innards turned to ice. He met the Noah's gaze squarely.
"Sure. Ask away," he said confidently, as though he feared nothing the man might ask.
"Why did you tell me to 'be safe'?" Tyki asked.
The ice spread to his face. Lavi's expression stayed fixed, heart tripping over several beats before it regained its regular rhythm.
"It's what I'd tell Kanda or Allen or Lenalee if they were going out to fight," he said. It wasn't a total lie. He did care whether or not they returned in one piece, though his concern for them wasn't quite on the same level as his fear for Tyki. "You're a great asset to the Order and there's probably plenty of knowledge we haven't even tapped yet, questions we didn't know to ask and you didn't think to tell us the answers to. It'd be a waste to lose so much information."
"Information?" Tyki repeated, incredulous. Lavi shrugged again, the movement no more graceful than it had been a few minutes ago.
"You thought it was something else?" he asked. Tyki just stared at him again, anger now more visible in his eyes than hurt. Good.
"I suppose that was foolish of me," he said, voice low and furious. "After all, anything else would require you to have a heart."
Lavi didn't flinch at the implication, but it was a near thing. He just shrugged again, unable to speak. His throat had completely closed over, emotion quite literally choking him.
Tyki watched him, apparently waiting for a response. When he saw that none was forthcoming, he scowled and turned.
"Very well. Don't worry, your precious 'information' is safe," he offered over his shoulder as he walked away.
"Good. I'm glad," Lavi said, voice coming out in a whisper. He doubted Tyki had even heard him. The Noah disappeared around the corner and Lavi let himself relax. His shoulders slumped and he let out a slow, shuddering breath. He turned away from the corner Tyki had disappeared around and began walking towards his room. He needed to lie down for a while, somewhere he wouldn't be disturbed. If anyone asked, he could say that his injuries were bothering him.
He was certainly feeling hurt enough.
TBC…
A/N: Really, really sorry about the length of time it took me to update. I was out of the country for two weeks and didn’t get nearly as much writing done as I wanted to.
Thank you for all your support! I’m glad you’re enjoying the fic and I hope this chapter was worth the wait. I hope to have 36 posted before I go back to school (early September) but I unfortunately do not know if I will be able to get it written and posted so quickly.
Please let me know if you noticed any mistakes and I’ll do my best to correct them! Thanks!
IMPORTANT NOTE
Well, more like shameless plug: the group I’m a part of, AssHat Productions, has a really awesome website and a chatbox, so if you have time, feel free to drop by! Here’s the link to the main page: h t t p : / / w w w . a s s h a t . 0 f e e s . n e t / (just delete the spaces) I’m usually on and so is Sister Wicked (author of such works as Fall Away and Nightmare Game) and Niamh Arawn (author of Some Sacred Place and The Fine Line)
Hope to see you there!