A letter to a Ghost writer
Dear Captain Daniel Gregg,
(The Ghost and Mrs. Muir by R. A. Dick)
We at THWAPS (Not be confused with TAPS) = The Half-Witted American Paranormal society, are very disappointed in you!
Thanks to your film and television adaptations we had assumed we had a pretty good idea of how you might manifest yourself. As it turns out you don't really physically manifest at all!
Oh, sure, you produce some fine EVPs, and some easily observed poltergeist activity but we were hoping for a semi-corporeal humanoid physical manifestation of an early nineteenth century sea captain, standing roughly six feet tall, in his fifties or sixties with a well maintained beard and resembling either Rex Harrison or Edward Mulhare. By the way, in the TV show, why did you reveal yourself to the little boy but not the daughter?
It seems the film accounts of your activities are an exaggeration. As we explore the history of the 'haunting' of Lucy Muir it seems most of your presence is based on her hearsay and there's little proof that you exist outside of her imagination.
Your activity is feeble and all signs of your presence can easily be explained away. At best the results of our investigation into your presence are inconclusive.
Your antics, such as forcing fireplace smoke into someone's face, knocking a woman into a pond are most disappointing. Considering your reputation we were hoping for something a little more spectacular.
Our equipment has barely picked up enough evidence to get a half an hour of screen time on Syfy (and they'll air anything these days). We are very disappointed in you, Mr. Gregg. It is for your lack of manifestation, that we need to support our investigative group by other means. For this reason we regret to inform you we have allowed the filming of Ghostbusters 3 in your house. Enjoy the ramblings of the cranky and aging Bill Murray. Pay back's a bitch, ain't it?
Sincerely,
THWAPS team
(The Ghost and Mrs. Muir by R. A. Dick)
We at THWAPS (Not be confused with TAPS) = The Half-Witted American Paranormal society, are very disappointed in you!
Thanks to your film and television adaptations we had assumed we had a pretty good idea of how you might manifest yourself. As it turns out you don't really physically manifest at all!
Oh, sure, you produce some fine EVPs, and some easily observed poltergeist activity but we were hoping for a semi-corporeal humanoid physical manifestation of an early nineteenth century sea captain, standing roughly six feet tall, in his fifties or sixties with a well maintained beard and resembling either Rex Harrison or Edward Mulhare. By the way, in the TV show, why did you reveal yourself to the little boy but not the daughter?
It seems the film accounts of your activities are an exaggeration. As we explore the history of the 'haunting' of Lucy Muir it seems most of your presence is based on her hearsay and there's little proof that you exist outside of her imagination.
Your activity is feeble and all signs of your presence can easily be explained away. At best the results of our investigation into your presence are inconclusive.
Your antics, such as forcing fireplace smoke into someone's face, knocking a woman into a pond are most disappointing. Considering your reputation we were hoping for something a little more spectacular.
Our equipment has barely picked up enough evidence to get a half an hour of screen time on Syfy (and they'll air anything these days). We are very disappointed in you, Mr. Gregg. It is for your lack of manifestation, that we need to support our investigative group by other means. For this reason we regret to inform you we have allowed the filming of Ghostbusters 3 in your house. Enjoy the ramblings of the cranky and aging Bill Murray. Pay back's a bitch, ain't it?
Sincerely,
THWAPS team