Bad Book Reccs, Nostalgia, and Two Christophers
I'm a sucker for vampires sometimes, so when a friend let me borrow Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck: A Love Story, I got a bit excited. I had been obstaining from most vampire literature for as long as I could in order to let the Twilight phenomenon run its course out of the bookstores and I was dying for another taste (badum-cha!).
I had no idea what I was getting into, at least not until I got past the first few chapters. (I've never read a Christopher Moore book beyond these.)
Jody, the main character of Bloodsucking Fiends, isn't really relatable. She starts off with a relationship with a boyfriend with no redeeming qualities and later falls into a relationship (maybe, sort of) with Tommy, a guy with only a few redeeming qualities. Jody's maker, some old vampire who only changes her out of boredom, is far from interesting himself.
On the upside, the Animals produced a few chuckles and I enjoyed sightings of the Emperor of San Francisco, but their appearances gradually take on a "Oh, there they are" kind of feel. Honestly, I started to forget who was who in the Animals, and they eventually became a gradual blob of faceless people who had very little individual personality, save for a quirk that would make me go, "That's right. That's the [stereotype]."
That's just scratching the surface in the first book.
In the second book, You Suck, things get worse. We find out that Tommy has had sex "with" Jody while she's been unconscious during the day. Jody acts, I don't know, slightly put out for a brief amount of time. ( I think this may have been touched on in the first book, but I was mostly skimming through the remaining 2/3rds of it and might have missed it.) Tommy is the only one who seems to step back and think about what he's done...to the point of worrying that he's a necrophiliac. Neither really react realistically in my opinion, despite having a great starting point for a deeper subject.
Speaking of having a deep subject that could be fascinating, Jody begins to do things a bit out of character by walking down dark alleys and going to places she had been afraid to visit as a human. She figures it's because she is now on top of the food chain and, as a woman, never has to worry about being mugged or worse. Moore ends the point right there and adds that she has been dressing more "provocative" lately, also as a result of her change. No one stops Jody to explain that any woman wearing anything could be targeted. No one tries to change her point of view. It's just stated as fact.
I didn't finish the second book. I ultimately decided that the few laughs I had really didn't make up for nonsensical plot points, offensiveness, and faceless characters. Until further notice, I've pretty much decided not to pick up another of Christopher Moore's books.
So...you remember how I said that I'm a real sucker for vampires? Back when I was in middle school, I adored the Last Vampire series by Christopher Pike. I found the first three books on sale at Borders for four dollars, revamped in a collection called Thirst. Nostalgia overwhelmed my senses, mostly my common sense, and I bought it. A few months later, I start to read the first chapter of the first book. Some fun facts about the first book:
1. The first paragraph contains fourteen instances of the word "I".
2. Alisa, the main character, is vain in the highest form, preferring to talk about how great she is rather than showing us what she can do.
3. Alisa is many several thousand years old with unlimited funds, but the only way she can get a teenager to give her a computer password is by infiltrating his high school in order to seduce him.
4. She sometimes flips back to her past for no real reason, other than to show she has a convoluted past.
5. Alisa contradicts herself and acts like a petulant child when she gets angry.
6. Despite her supposed age, she seems to have no understanding of consequences.
Once again, this is only the tip of the iceburg -- the first two chapters. I'm glad I'm only out a few dollars, but while I'm still slogging through it, I'm sure it's safe to say that I had no taste growing up and I will probably give up out of frustration.