Willow by Julia Hoban
I am only halfway through this book, and while I am planning on finishing it, there are a few grievances I'm really having trouble getting past. (Also, hi! I'm Trai and I'm new here!)
First off, the comma splices. Seriously, I just finished taking a grammar course in college and now they're everywhere. I take issue to a sentence like this: Willow rolls onto her stomach, the book she’s been trying to read for the past half hour tumbles to the floor as she buries her face in the pillow in a vain attempt to shut out the chattering in her head. Okay, after Willow rolls onto her stomach, you've got at least four options: a semicolon, a conjunction, a period/full stop, or rewording the sentence entirely. I managed to revise the sentence all four ways in a manner of minutes. I'm 20 and apparently more skilled than most YA editors. That makes me sad. (Also: "the pillow." Unless her bed really only has one pillow, wouldn't "her pillow" be better? "The pillow" makes it sound like the be all and end all of pillows.)
Second off, our heroine, Willow herself. [Talk of self-mutilation, in the form of cutting, ahead.]
She does not cut people nearly enough slack. Granted, she is in a very difficult situation: her parents died in a car accident where she was the driver (she only had a permit, the road was wet, they'd been out to dinner and her parents were tipsy, so she drove and I assume they went off the road or slammed into a tree, something like that). Because of this, she has begun cutting (more on that later). She's living with her older brother, who is being distant, but I actually take issue with how she expects her peers to treat her.
She's a junior in high school. Let's face it, teenagers can either be (a) tactless in general or (b) tactless just because they do not yet have the experience to handle the situation correctly. Willow is critical of nearly everyone she meets. She gets angry at someone who calls her situation "way harsh". Yes, it's a thoughtless way to describe a tough situation, but sometimes it's just the only way a teenager would know to say something.
She also harshly criticizes other people for getting upset over things that, to her, seem trivial, such as breaking lab equipment or not getting into a good college. She mentally derides a girl for crying over said broken lab equipment, because woe is her, she lost her parents and thus has never cried, but clearly her tragedy outweighs anything else a teenager can go through and thus she is the only one who has the right to cry. I know, I know, I'm criticizing a YA Lit heroine for being self-centered, but it irks me that she has the perspective that what she has been through invalidates other people's right to feel. Is it realistic, true to life? Probably, yeah. Is it an enjoyable perspective to be reading in third person limited? Not particularly.
Then there's our male lead. His name is Guy. I'm sure that's meant to be a cutesy shoutout to him being just an average guy. Har-har.
I do not like you, Guy. Sure, you seem perfectly sweet and all, but you do things that make me wonder if you went to the Edward Cullen School of Charming a Woman. One of them is a plot device so that Willow's cutting can be exposed to you and thus make you the only one who knows her secret, but the way that plot device was written made me want to scream.
Guy and Willow are sitting in a park. Guy asks Willow to get a cappuccino with him, and Willow says no. She still barely knows him (I think this is only the second time they've met) and is still uncomfortable in social situations, so she tries to get up and leave. Here is what I object to: he grabs her wrist and tries to yank her back down while asking her to stay.
It's done so that his hand can brush against a scab and peel it, making blood soak into her sleeve so that he realizes she's a cutter when he rolls the sleeve back, etc. But in what universe is it okay for a teenage guy to grab a girl he's just barely met and try to force her into staying with you? She tried to get up and leave; it's so clear at that point in time that she's not interested. Guy, I'm docking your hero points.
Then there's this. Guy becomes the only one who knows about Willow's cutting, and to give him some credit, he gives her his phone number and tells her to call him if she feels like cutting again. She doesn't, but the thought of him keeps her from doing it for a few days. Until there's a sale on razor blades at the pharmacy, and she buys a few and puts them in her bag. While she's out with Guy and his friends, the razors fall out, and Guy helps her save face by claiming she picked them up for him, and puts them in his own bag. Except later, when they're arguing, he proceeds to throw the boxes of razors back at her in anger. What kind of idiot does that?! They do hit the ground and no one is injured, but really? He's dumb as a rock if he thinks throwing a box of razors at someone is a bright idea.
I'm still trudging through this book, because I do want to see how the situation between her and her brother gets resolved, but I am not buying into this alleged romance and I want to slap Guy upside the head a few times, not to mention give Willow a bit of perspective. Anybody else read this one? Does it get better or worse?