Comments | bookfails: Good Plot, Bad Author: Jean M. Auel

caitak in bookfails

Good Plot, Bad Author: Jean M. Auel

Jan 03, 2011 18:28

When I was about eighteen and riding high on a wave of Tolkien epic fantasy type books, my Grampy lent me his copy of The Clan of the Cave Bear. I really enjoyed it, but never got very far with the sequel (The Valley of the Horses ( Read more... )

good plot gone wrong, theme days, like watching paint dry, sex scene failure

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spessartine January 3 2011, 21:06:33 UTC

Oh god, these books. I found the research kind of fascinating (and useful in case of zombie apocalypse), so I didn't mind that so much - even if it really didn't belong in the books at ALL. But the sex scenes were what got to me. I felt like I was skipping ten of every twenty pages while she got it on with Jondalar of the Massive Manhood.

captaintwinings January 4 2011, 00:46:08 UTC

I liked the research, too. I feel it really added to my survival skills, and I would much rather read prehistoric hunting tips than the saga of Ayla Sue, Savior of Man, Loved by All, Deep of Vagina and Turgid of Breast.

That's why I had to stop reading the books. If I had to read the phrase "turgid breasts" one more time, I was afraid I might hurt myself. Well, that and I was offended by the scene in which Ayla saves the men from marauding prehistoric lesbians.

gehayi January 4 2011, 21:05:23 UTC

TURGID: -adjective
1. swollen; distended; tumid.
2. inflated, overblown, or pompous; bombastic.

I know that Auel is talking about Ayla's breasts being large and/or filled with milk...but I just love the idea of them being pompous.

captaintwinings January 5 2011, 00:05:55 UTC

Ha! They're blowhards.

I always associate "turgid" with a stream overflowing its banks with the first snowmelt of spring. So I thought of every one of those tedious sex scenes as very cold and wet.

pink_siamese January 5 2011, 19:10:39 UTC

Aw man, there were marauding lesbians? Clearly I didn't read that far!

captaintwinings January 5 2011, 22:00:43 UTC

I think it was in The Plains of Passage. Jondalar gets captured and locked in the man ghetto, and Ayla has to set the society right. Luckily, all the women in the village were forced into it, and were glad to get back to pleasuring their men. And Prehistoric Lesbian Hitler was only gay because she was raped into it.

This little segment of the book came out of absolutely nowhere, and I felt unclean after reading it.

pink_siamese January 5 2011, 22:03:04 UTC

Oh EW! I..I need a shower after reading that. ::shudder::

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