Dear Certain Characters from the Inheritance Cycle
Dear Eragon,
I'm afraid that as a protagonist, you fail. You're not only a self-insert, you're a Gary Stu of insufferable proportions. Despite being raised as a farmboy, you learned to out-fence your mentor within weeks and learn to read in a week. Also, in Eldest you somehow manage to pick up speaking, reading and writing in a second language fluently within weeks. Even with immersion, that's still fairly difficult to swallow. You also are the only dragonrider with a healthy dragon on your entire continent not under the control of the evil King Galbatorix. You also have super-special awesome magic powers that save you in the nick of time at least once. However, none of this would matter so much if you weren't such an insufferable little prick. Seriously, you have advantages most characters in your world can only dream of, but you still find ways to whinge, mope and wangst about your unrequited love for Arya to the point where I want to bash your head in to spare Alagaesia your whining. Seriously, the way you fell in love with her and lusted for when she was covered with torture scars was bad enough. Then you started to stalk her Eldest, inspiring serious rage in me. All the book cared about was your poor feelings and nothing about how awful it would be for Arya to be stalked by a boy she barely knew. Also, you never got called out any of your other reprehensible actions either, especially some of the ones in Book 3. Thanks a lot for using your Gary Stu qualities to warp the narrative to bend over and kiss you on the arse. You're also a hypocrite who whinges about killing ants while you have no problems slaughtering other human beings. Need I say more?
No love,
Kellicat
Dear Galbatorix,
I don't care what it takes, please grow a pair of dimensions or character facets or something. You're about as one-dimensional as a villain can get.
Sincerely,
Kellicat
Dear Arya and the other elves in this series,
We get, you're immortal and special and sooo much better than any other species. Just shut up already! Michelle Sagara's Barrani have nothing on you and arrogance is said to be their specialty. If the empire and the dwarves hate you, I don't blame them one bit.
cheers,
Kellicat
Dear Nasuada,
You had a great idea with producing and selling lace to fund the Varden's war efforts. What happened to your brains after that? Did they jump out of your head? You let yourself get manipulated into the Trial of the Emo in book 3 and your grip of battle tactics and strategy is pathetic. Read. A. Manual.
most sincerely,
Kellicat
(Edited for minor spelling, grammar issues and to make it clear in the title that these are character letters)