Dear Danielle Steel,

[lynn_pryderi]

Stop. Please, stop writing books. Or rather, stop writing the same book, over and over again. Stop writing so many when they're all the same. You know, people who run bookstores resent you for taking up two to three shelves by yourself. I should know.

Also, your style is boring. I am sorry but really, decorate your description a little. Stop using so many commas. Try writing a different perspective besides the Woman With Problems. Or even deeper characters. I just...I'm sorry. Your books are so boring.

I have read a few chapters from a few different books and even the first impression I get from them is...auuggghhh.

I hate it when people donate your books to the bookstore. You are the reason there's no room in the S one-dollar hardback fiction section.

I beg you. Please stop.

Without love,
Lynn

ALSO:
Dear Mr. Mersault from Albert Camus' "The Stranger",

You have no soul. Or, apparently, any really interesting thoughts in your head. Thank you for single-handedly making senior year English torture.