(no subject)
So here are the results of a two and then some year long relationship:
1. I have absolutely no self confidence
2. I have really high standards
Now, the self confidence thing will pass, cuz i'm one self assured little fucker when i want to be. It's only temporary, and I know it, so i'm not really worried. Not being a priority to someone you put on the same level as yourself has a degeneritory (?) effect, especially after as long as i let it continue. I should've realized much earlier on that i wouldn't really be a part of Clayton's life, and said fuck it then, but it's really hard for me to do that to someone i have faith in. Faith's gone tho, so it's easy enough now.
This has taught me to evaulate people closely before i delegate my time to then. It's also raised my standards a lot, because I have a really good grasp of what i dislike in a relationship, and what i'd like to have in the next one. I expect to be treated by my terms, and I'm really not taking shit from anyone. I deserve a guy who's really going to care about me, and be there for me, and treat me amazingly, and then some, because that's what i expect from myself for him. And the next one has to be hott. <---Two t's, cuz i've had enough of this pale, skinny, pimply bullshit. I need a guy with some muscles and an ass worth grabbing. ;)
Respect, i think, is my biggest priority in a relationship. Im used to not getting it from someone i care deeply about. Nothings worth being in any sort of relationship with someone who doesnt respect you.
1. I have absolutely no self confidence
2. I have really high standards
Now, the self confidence thing will pass, cuz i'm one self assured little fucker when i want to be. It's only temporary, and I know it, so i'm not really worried. Not being a priority to someone you put on the same level as yourself has a degeneritory (?) effect, especially after as long as i let it continue. I should've realized much earlier on that i wouldn't really be a part of Clayton's life, and said fuck it then, but it's really hard for me to do that to someone i have faith in. Faith's gone tho, so it's easy enough now.
This has taught me to evaulate people closely before i delegate my time to then. It's also raised my standards a lot, because I have a really good grasp of what i dislike in a relationship, and what i'd like to have in the next one. I expect to be treated by my terms, and I'm really not taking shit from anyone. I deserve a guy who's really going to care about me, and be there for me, and treat me amazingly, and then some, because that's what i expect from myself for him. And the next one has to be hott. <---Two t's, cuz i've had enough of this pale, skinny, pimply bullshit. I need a guy with some muscles and an ass worth grabbing. ;)
Respect, i think, is my biggest priority in a relationship. Im used to not getting it from someone i care deeply about. Nothings worth being in any sort of relationship with someone who doesnt respect you.