Operation get Jayne to a whorehouse
Title: Operation get Jayne to a whorehouse
Author: Bookaddict
Characters: Jayne/Kaylee
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 1078
Comments: I have a sneaking suspicion that my idea for this initially came from a stray comment in ana_grrl's journal. Thank you to prehistoric_sea for her much needed imput!! *hugs her* Written for xenaclone at hetfic_minis. Her request was for Jayne with Kaylee, Inara or Helen. Humour, sex and Jayne being Jayne…
“Captain you’ve got to do something.”
“It is getting out of hand sir.”
“He just about tore my head off and I didn’t say anything! Well I didn’t say anything -much. You’ll protect me won’t you lambie-toes?”
“I’ve got to agree Captain; the boy’s getting a mite tetchy.”
“A mite tetchy? Shepherd I’m about to space him just for the peace and quiet.”
“You can’t space him! A man has needs and it’s all your fault anyway Captain.”
“My fault! How can it be my fault?”
“It’s nearly three months since we been planetside and then you wouldn’t let anyone go off on their own.”
“We weren’t going to be there long and I needed everyone.”
“We were there nearly a whole day and Jayne didn’t get to go whoring and have good sex.”
“Well no-one else did either.”
“That don’t matter Captain. Wash and Zoe have got each other, ‘Nara’s fine, the Shepherd’s a man of god, River and Simon ain’t interested in that and neither are you and I’ve got my battery helpers in my bunk.”
“Kaylee!”
“What?”
“I don’t need to hear about your helpers and I am so interested…”
“Go on Malcolm, I would like to hear more.”
“Well you ain’t hearing it.”
“Maybe I could lend Jayne some of my toys.”
“Kaylee!”
“Not the girl only ones. I’ve got some others I ain’t used; they can be used by men-folk too.”
“Ugh.”
“Kaylee’s right, not about the toys. I think Jayne’s way past toy help now, but about the other. He’s almost friendly after having some female company”
“Female company, is that what they call it? And you’re suggesting what?”
“That we land on the next moon and get Jayne to a whorehouse. The rest of us could do with some downtime too you know.”
“We all could do with a break Captain; for our mental and physical health.”
“It wouldn’t hurt sir, and maybe we could pick up some work.”
“It’d be shiny. I might go too; a boy whore would be fun. ”
“I can’t hear that and it - is - not shiny!”
“If we have a break, get Jayne out of our hair and make some coin; that would be both fun and shiny.”
“Fine”, Mal sighed. “Zoe see if you can line up a job and Kaylee - no more talk about whores or toys. Dong ma?”
**************************************
“Let’s go,” Mal grabbed up the payment and led the way down the street.
“But Mal?” Jayne looked back longingly at the lit up whorehouse sign.
“Captain…” Kaylee’s voice rose. “I was going to get me a ….”
“Can’t stop now, we’ve got to get outta here.” The local law was likely to get all officious and even though they were in the right of it; Mal didn’t want to deal with that now.
“Yeah, well if just once you didn’t rile someone…”
“We kept our side of the bargain.”
“Shoulda kept quiet too,” Jayne was disgruntled.
“This from the man who pulls a gun at a joke he don’t understand.”
“It ain’t fair Captain,” Kaylee pouted. “Jayne and me didn’t do anything and they had some mighty fine looking fellas there.”
“Jayne shot someone!”
“They was going to shoot you Captain.” Kaylee trailed into Serenity reluctantly.
Jayne frowned heavily and followed them up the ramp. “All that coin, and I don’t get a chance to spend none of it.”
“Why not, what’s happening?” Wash greeted. “We were just leaving.”
“Well un-leave then, we’ve got to get going,” Mal ordered. “Is everyone else still here?”
“Course they’re still here, we’ve only been planet-side a rutting hour.”
“Wash get up to the bridge and get us out of here,” Mal tuned out his whining mercenary and angry mechanic and punched the speaker. “Take off in two minutes.”
“Two minutes,” Jayne grumbled. “We coulda spent two days here.”
“And had us some fun,” Kaylee glared. “You remember fun Captain?”
She whirled around and followed Jayne as he stomped to his bunk.
“We coulda stayed,” she slipped down the ladder after him and sat down on the floor.
“Yeah, none of that was our fault,” Jayne agreed pulling a bottle from his locker and handing it to her.
Kaylee took a generous swallow and shook her head. “Just ‘cause the Captain didn’t want to answer questions.”
“We don’t get to go nowhere.” Jayne slouched down beside her and took the bottle from her outstretched hand.
Silently they sat and drank, each lost in their own thoughts. “Where were you going to go?” Jayne broke the long silence.
“Same place as you.”
“Why? I thought you were getting plenty of action?”
“Simon ain’t ever made a move on me,” Kaylee complained. “And sometimes my toys ain’t what I want. I was looking forward to some real human company.”
“Girls or boys?” Jayne leered.
“Boys. I like the way their parts fit mine; kinda like an engine.”
“So what sort you go for?”
Kaylee glanced at him sideways and decided to have a little fun. “I like them big; lots bigger than me and with muscles too.”
“I thought you’d go for someone like the Doc?”
“Well sometimes I would. But the hen doesn’t always want the same rooster you know. Sometimes they gotta try something different,” Kaylee’s voice got dreamy. “The fella I pick has to be good at sexing and willing to stay all night pleasuring me. He’d be letting me call the shots and do exactly what I wanted. He’d start by kissing me all over till he got to my nethers. Then he’d take his mouth and tongue to me and I’d get all squirmy and het up…”
“Kaylee,” Jayne wrapped a hand around her arm. “Wanna try this rooster?”
“I don’t know,” Kaylee regarded him and the bulge in his pants. “You gonna let me call the shots?”
“Yes ma’am Miss Kaylee,” Jayne entered the game with alacrity. “Anything you want I can do.”
“How about we start with the kissing then?”
Kaylee fluttered her eyelashes and squealed as Jayne tumbled her onto the bed and removed her clothes in almost one movement. His mouth and hands slid over her skin and her back arched when he reached her nethers. Jayne’s tongue flicked over her heated girl parts and Kaylee squirmed…
Jayne glanced up at her and grinned. “Anything else Miss Kaylee?”
“Just keep doing that,” Kaylee groaned as his tongue dipped inside her again. “All night would be good.”
Author: Bookaddict
Characters: Jayne/Kaylee
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 1078
Comments: I have a sneaking suspicion that my idea for this initially came from a stray comment in ana_grrl's journal. Thank you to prehistoric_sea for her much needed imput!! *hugs her* Written for xenaclone at hetfic_minis. Her request was for Jayne with Kaylee, Inara or Helen. Humour, sex and Jayne being Jayne…
“Captain you’ve got to do something.”
“It is getting out of hand sir.”
“He just about tore my head off and I didn’t say anything! Well I didn’t say anything -much. You’ll protect me won’t you lambie-toes?”
“I’ve got to agree Captain; the boy’s getting a mite tetchy.”
“A mite tetchy? Shepherd I’m about to space him just for the peace and quiet.”
“You can’t space him! A man has needs and it’s all your fault anyway Captain.”
“My fault! How can it be my fault?”
“It’s nearly three months since we been planetside and then you wouldn’t let anyone go off on their own.”
“We weren’t going to be there long and I needed everyone.”
“We were there nearly a whole day and Jayne didn’t get to go whoring and have good sex.”
“Well no-one else did either.”
“That don’t matter Captain. Wash and Zoe have got each other, ‘Nara’s fine, the Shepherd’s a man of god, River and Simon ain’t interested in that and neither are you and I’ve got my battery helpers in my bunk.”
“Kaylee!”
“What?”
“I don’t need to hear about your helpers and I am so interested…”
“Go on Malcolm, I would like to hear more.”
“Well you ain’t hearing it.”
“Maybe I could lend Jayne some of my toys.”
“Kaylee!”
“Not the girl only ones. I’ve got some others I ain’t used; they can be used by men-folk too.”
“Ugh.”
“Kaylee’s right, not about the toys. I think Jayne’s way past toy help now, but about the other. He’s almost friendly after having some female company”
“Female company, is that what they call it? And you’re suggesting what?”
“That we land on the next moon and get Jayne to a whorehouse. The rest of us could do with some downtime too you know.”
“We all could do with a break Captain; for our mental and physical health.”
“It wouldn’t hurt sir, and maybe we could pick up some work.”
“It’d be shiny. I might go too; a boy whore would be fun. ”
“I can’t hear that and it - is - not shiny!”
“If we have a break, get Jayne out of our hair and make some coin; that would be both fun and shiny.”
“Fine”, Mal sighed. “Zoe see if you can line up a job and Kaylee - no more talk about whores or toys. Dong ma?”
**************************************
“Let’s go,” Mal grabbed up the payment and led the way down the street.
“But Mal?” Jayne looked back longingly at the lit up whorehouse sign.
“Captain…” Kaylee’s voice rose. “I was going to get me a ….”
“Can’t stop now, we’ve got to get outta here.” The local law was likely to get all officious and even though they were in the right of it; Mal didn’t want to deal with that now.
“Yeah, well if just once you didn’t rile someone…”
“We kept our side of the bargain.”
“Shoulda kept quiet too,” Jayne was disgruntled.
“This from the man who pulls a gun at a joke he don’t understand.”
“It ain’t fair Captain,” Kaylee pouted. “Jayne and me didn’t do anything and they had some mighty fine looking fellas there.”
“Jayne shot someone!”
“They was going to shoot you Captain.” Kaylee trailed into Serenity reluctantly.
Jayne frowned heavily and followed them up the ramp. “All that coin, and I don’t get a chance to spend none of it.”
“Why not, what’s happening?” Wash greeted. “We were just leaving.”
“Well un-leave then, we’ve got to get going,” Mal ordered. “Is everyone else still here?”
“Course they’re still here, we’ve only been planet-side a rutting hour.”
“Wash get up to the bridge and get us out of here,” Mal tuned out his whining mercenary and angry mechanic and punched the speaker. “Take off in two minutes.”
“Two minutes,” Jayne grumbled. “We coulda spent two days here.”
“And had us some fun,” Kaylee glared. “You remember fun Captain?”
She whirled around and followed Jayne as he stomped to his bunk.
“We coulda stayed,” she slipped down the ladder after him and sat down on the floor.
“Yeah, none of that was our fault,” Jayne agreed pulling a bottle from his locker and handing it to her.
Kaylee took a generous swallow and shook her head. “Just ‘cause the Captain didn’t want to answer questions.”
“We don’t get to go nowhere.” Jayne slouched down beside her and took the bottle from her outstretched hand.
Silently they sat and drank, each lost in their own thoughts. “Where were you going to go?” Jayne broke the long silence.
“Same place as you.”
“Why? I thought you were getting plenty of action?”
“Simon ain’t ever made a move on me,” Kaylee complained. “And sometimes my toys ain’t what I want. I was looking forward to some real human company.”
“Girls or boys?” Jayne leered.
“Boys. I like the way their parts fit mine; kinda like an engine.”
“So what sort you go for?”
Kaylee glanced at him sideways and decided to have a little fun. “I like them big; lots bigger than me and with muscles too.”
“I thought you’d go for someone like the Doc?”
“Well sometimes I would. But the hen doesn’t always want the same rooster you know. Sometimes they gotta try something different,” Kaylee’s voice got dreamy. “The fella I pick has to be good at sexing and willing to stay all night pleasuring me. He’d be letting me call the shots and do exactly what I wanted. He’d start by kissing me all over till he got to my nethers. Then he’d take his mouth and tongue to me and I’d get all squirmy and het up…”
“Kaylee,” Jayne wrapped a hand around her arm. “Wanna try this rooster?”
“I don’t know,” Kaylee regarded him and the bulge in his pants. “You gonna let me call the shots?”
“Yes ma’am Miss Kaylee,” Jayne entered the game with alacrity. “Anything you want I can do.”
“How about we start with the kissing then?”
Kaylee fluttered her eyelashes and squealed as Jayne tumbled her onto the bed and removed her clothes in almost one movement. His mouth and hands slid over her skin and her back arched when he reached her nethers. Jayne’s tongue flicked over her heated girl parts and Kaylee squirmed…
Jayne glanced up at her and grinned. “Anything else Miss Kaylee?”
“Just keep doing that,” Kaylee groaned as his tongue dipped inside her again. “All night would be good.”