A Dream: Actually, LOTS of muddled ones
So, I've been having bojillions of dreams lately. WAY too many to write down in detail one by one. :\ This sort of puts me off, because I do like to keep track, but I've been sleeping REALLY CRAPPY these past two weeks, and wake up about five hundred times during the night. This interrupts my dreams, which makes me start new ones when I fall back to sleep, which means I've got ten dreams to juggle in the morning, as opposed to two or three. *SIIIGH*
But here's what I can remember of them, because even small details can be important. Or whatever. Also, the more dreams I journal, the better the chances that I remember my next dreams, which is also important to me.
So, I'm sure I've had at least two dreams involving Lex. FFFUUUUCK. In them, I was still on speaking terms with her, and she still thought we were friends. I remember that in one dream we were at her ex boyfriend's house back in Colorado, and I was wondering to myself, "Why the hell am I here again?" As always, she was annoying, pathetic, clingy and two-faced. When John was around, she'd be sweet to his son JJ, but when he left, she turned into the 'wicked stepmother', as it were. Eventually I yelled at her, saying "Stop acting so insecure! He's only a five-year-old for Christ's sake!"
Like I say, we're supposed to still be friends in the dreams, or we've made up from a fight, but it's always really one-sided, and I always have this deep-seated loathing for her. I'm always trying to express to her how much I hate her, and that I don't want her around me, but she just won't take a hint, even when I'm screaming.
This is SO true to life. =_____=
Another dream I had involved some weird...boarding school? Or something that had to do with girls staying in a home together, and going on trips and so forth. The rooms were small; the bunk beds took up most of the space there, and they were very unsteady. I was roomed up with a girl who I've never met IRL, but in the dream I think I may have at least met her before. That, or it was the familiarity of having been rooming with her. Twice in this dream there was a big charter bus that was taking us somewhere. The first time it came, I was running late, and help up the trip (by less than 5 minutes, mind you). The second time, I was trying to find a change of clothing before we left, but had somehow failed to pack anything that was appropriate for summer wear. I picked a long-sleeved shirt, and was relieved to see that another girl was wearing something similar. My friend Clare was also on the bus, and refused to speak to me because I was late YET AGAIN, and somehow, this made me the enemy of every girl in the group. Later, in the same boarding house place where we stayed, I had to get up in the night to use the bathroom. I went into what was supposed to be the restroom, and found myself in a bedroom, with one sagging cot in the corner, and old, splintering woodwork. My roommate came in behind me, saying I had woken her up, and that she had to go to the bathroom too. But seeing the room we were in, we both turned to go. Behind us, the bedroom door had been closed, and looked like it had been plastered over. There was no doorknob, and no sign that a doorway had ever been there. My roommate and I tried to get out, getting scared. There was a very unsettling feeling in the room, like the presence of children. Very sad, tormented children. We tried hitting the door, and shouting for help. Finally, I said "They're ghosts or something. This is probably just an hallucination. Just shut your eyes, and reach for the handle, and don't think of anything els but opening this door." Together we pictured ourselves turning the knob and pushing the door open. The frightening feeling was gone, and we found ourselves in the hallway. We were relieved at first, but when we looked around we realized this was NOT how our hallway was supposed to look. Everything was aged and grey-green, or moldering wood. Somehow I realize that this is how our boarding house used to be, and that it had been a home for orphaned boys. This place was terrible, the children had been severely mistreated, and most of them were never allowed out of their rooms. A lot of death and misery had happened in that building, and my roommate and I were stuck in the timeline when it had happened.
Another dream involved me at my friend Katie's house. This was either before she left for Florida, or after she had come back. That part's unclear. Someone had told me that my car was sitting to far forward on it's axle, and that it needed fixing. A man came to Katie's house with..friends? His family? But suddenly, even though Katie still lived there, the house belonged to these slobby rednecks, who, for whatever reason, had empty garbage bags and cardboard boxes EVERYWHERE. A woman came with food enough for two people, and someone was explaining to me that she and I would be eating what she brought. I thought this was rude, but they said it was how things were done. Suddenly this made sense, and I realized it was VERY early in the morning, and I was eating breakfast, not dinner, and of COURSE no one else would need to eat at this hour. The food the woman brought was mashed sweet potatoes or yams, and...something else I can't remember. What I DO remember is that I never actually got to eat, and this nagged at the back of my head for the rest of the dream. The man who was supposed to fix my car was outside, telling me that he needed to take it for a test drive before he could know how to fix it.
Somewhere in here, we're suddenly in a boat together, and we're traveling down a river that's bordered by a city on either side. Above us is a street layer, where everything looks the way a normal street in a normal city looks. From OUR vantage point, the streets overhead look like the undersides of bridges, and all the surrounding buildings have strange, amazing architecture that is somehow underwater. Even though we're not. The man is telling me, "You know how when you're in a boat, there's that pull from the water that lets you measure how fast you're moving? Well, that's what we need to figure out what's wrong with your car. Of course, you can't drive a car in water, so how are we going to use that rule of measurement?" I tell him I have no idea, so he explains. "When you're driving, you have to look at a certain point of focus. You stare at it and drive towards it, and the time it takes to drive to the place where that focal point opens up is the equivalent of speed against the water's pull." As he explains this, I look at a bridge that's arching overhead. As we go under it, I see a hole where it opens up like a skylight. When we're beneath it, I can almost imagine that skylight growing wider, the bridge and the buildings pushing aside, and then there's nothing but the sky.
Then the man in speeding as fast as he possibly can down the highway. Details are lost here, but eventually he intentionally crashes into a couple's SUV, sending my car tumbling down the road. Essentially he totals their vehicle, and FLATTENS mine. He says this is to find out its durability, and somehow thinks that I'll be less anygry to find out that my car can still drive. Obviously I'm furious.
There's also something to do with Katie's house again, and the people living in it, but all I really remember is being VERY angry.
Let's see... there was also a dream in which I found out that my little sister was throwing up to try and lose weight. Apparently her friend Merri had told her to do it, and I was VERY pissed. I asked my sister why, after she complained about how Merri was always wrong about everything, that she would take her friend's advice to start puking up her food. My sister told me it was none of my business. I can't remember our conversation word-for-word, but there was a lot of shouting on my part, and shaking her by the shoulders. I told her all the things bulimia could do to her, and how it would screw up her life. She rolled her eyes and mocked me, and said that she couldn't help it because bulimia was a mental condition. I told her that she couldn't use that excuse if she'd only been puking for two days, and that her situation was NOTHING like what real bulimics had to go through. I told her again all the negative effects that it would have on her, and that she could avoid having a REAL problem if she's just make the decision to stop RIGHT NOW. The whole dream had a lot of anger and frustration in it, and, like all my dreams involving my sister, I was infuriated, and felt like I was beating against a brick wall, for the all good I was doing. Mom was in the dream too. She was the one who told me what my sister was doing, but I was the only one who was really trying to fix anything. My sister was just sarcastic and disrespectful, and my mom was resigned, if anything.
I also had a lot of dreams in which I couldn't sleep, or half-dreams where my tossing and turning was incorporated into a setting I didn't recognize, and was uncomfortable with. A couple times I've woken up, there've been a few seconds where I haven't been able to figure out where I am. (Though I'm blaming this on my furniture all being out of place recently)