(no subject)
Imagine this is your life:
You are married to a millionaire and have a 20 year old daughter who attends university.
Your daughter has been living on her own for several years and lives 200+ mi away from you. She is well behaved, but has a history of mental illness that has taken a great toll on her education and interpersonal relationships in the past. Your husband pays for all of her expenses and has promised to continue doing so as long as she is in school.
Your daughter has a boyfriend who she has been dating for two years.
He lives in a neighboring (much nicer) country, is a year younger, lives with his parents, and graduates from secondary this year. They have spent several months of their relationship together but you have only met him once. He treats your daughter perfectly, has wonderful manners, and a good head on his shoulders. You and your husband both really like him. Since your daughter has started dating boyfriend it is the first time in her life you have ever seen her consistently happy, even her grades have improved.
During their visit to your house the previous summer boyfriend asked for your husband's permission and approval to propose to your daughter. Your husband said no because boyfriend has no money. He tries to convince boyfriend that your daughter would be a horrible burden. No one ever discusses this event with you.
Her spring break rolls around and your daughter tells you and your husband that she is getting married this summer.
Apparently she and boyfriend with through all of the extensive legal work for a marriage visa, with money they saved up on their own, in secret because of your husbands disapproval the previous summer. Boyfriend plans to move to your country, get a job, and attend university once he saves up enough money. He will pay his half of the bills, plus all of their personal expenses. Marriage is the only way they can be together in your country where boyfriend can work and go to school.
Boyfriend's parents knew all along and have already welcomed your daughter into their family. They intend to help out as much as they can with their limited means.
Your husband takes this marriage as a betrayal of his trust and intends to cut her off financially.
Your daughter has no work experience and is likely to never finish her degree if she has to start working full time. She already lives a frugal lifestyle and has never taken advantage of you or your husband for money.
What would your reaction be? Would you have approved boyfriend if he had come to you first?
Would your reaction be different if:
- She was your step-daughter, but you were her only maternal figure?
- Your daughter would become homeless if your husband cut her off?
- She only wanted to stay in your country so she could be close to you and your husband even though she could go move to boyfriend's much better country?
Note: Your husband never said previously that her paid expenses for school were conditional to her unmarried status.
You are married to a millionaire and have a 20 year old daughter who attends university.
Your daughter has been living on her own for several years and lives 200+ mi away from you. She is well behaved, but has a history of mental illness that has taken a great toll on her education and interpersonal relationships in the past. Your husband pays for all of her expenses and has promised to continue doing so as long as she is in school.
Your daughter has a boyfriend who she has been dating for two years.
He lives in a neighboring (much nicer) country, is a year younger, lives with his parents, and graduates from secondary this year. They have spent several months of their relationship together but you have only met him once. He treats your daughter perfectly, has wonderful manners, and a good head on his shoulders. You and your husband both really like him. Since your daughter has started dating boyfriend it is the first time in her life you have ever seen her consistently happy, even her grades have improved.
During their visit to your house the previous summer boyfriend asked for your husband's permission and approval to propose to your daughter. Your husband said no because boyfriend has no money. He tries to convince boyfriend that your daughter would be a horrible burden. No one ever discusses this event with you.
Her spring break rolls around and your daughter tells you and your husband that she is getting married this summer.
Apparently she and boyfriend with through all of the extensive legal work for a marriage visa, with money they saved up on their own, in secret because of your husbands disapproval the previous summer. Boyfriend plans to move to your country, get a job, and attend university once he saves up enough money. He will pay his half of the bills, plus all of their personal expenses. Marriage is the only way they can be together in your country where boyfriend can work and go to school.
Boyfriend's parents knew all along and have already welcomed your daughter into their family. They intend to help out as much as they can with their limited means.
Your husband takes this marriage as a betrayal of his trust and intends to cut her off financially.
Your daughter has no work experience and is likely to never finish her degree if she has to start working full time. She already lives a frugal lifestyle and has never taken advantage of you or your husband for money.
What would your reaction be? Would you have approved boyfriend if he had come to you first?
Would your reaction be different if:
- She was your step-daughter, but you were her only maternal figure?
- Your daughter would become homeless if your husband cut her off?
- She only wanted to stay in your country so she could be close to you and your husband even though she could go move to boyfriend's much better country?
Note: Your husband never said previously that her paid expenses for school were conditional to her unmarried status.