At what age do you allow your child privacy in his or her own room? When do you begin knocking on their door before entering? Do you enter when the child is not home
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I'm very active on a Christian forum, and from what I read there this is very much the norm in Christian parenting. At least among Christians that have a desire to make God happy--I just so happen to be a Christian that wants to make Him happy. When you become Christian, sure it takes time for you to FULLY change, but God starts working on molding you into a good Christian. God starts working on leading you down His path. You have no control over it really--unless you just rebel against everything and not let God into your heart like you said you'd do but really didn't. If you are a TRUE Christian, you let God take charge and lead you and you let Him into your heart and into your body and mind and spirit so that He can do His work. I've done that. I've let Him do His work on me. I've prayed to Him a lot about a lot of things, and He's been the hand in 99% of the decisions I've made. I've listened for His desires, and listened to see what He thought of something. I've looked on what I felt about something and really most of the stuff I've done and decided has been subconscious, I'd pray about something...and then I'll realize "Hey, I want to do this His way...." because it's just Him doing His work in making me His child.
I realize this isn't really the place to discuss religion, but you were questioning why I was doing something, so I gave you a reason.
And I have a question: How in the world are you going to do "research" on how to parent children in a Christian way? Sure, you can ask on Christian forums and read the Christian forums (as I did) and pray a lot, but that's really all you can do.
I'm not a Christian, so I have no idea if what you're saying is true, for Christians at least.
And I'd do more research into the religion itself, before using it as a parenting tool. And that would go for any religion. I would want to find out if there were any huge differences between my values and those of a particular religion, some of which may not be found out until learning more about the religion than what's on the surface.
There are books on it you know. Hundreds and hundreds of books on Christian parenting. Same way there are hundreds of books on any other type of parentingl. Novel idea: Try reading a book!
I find it very hard to believe that you really understand the ins and outs after only a monthish. As a Christian, myself, I disagree about what you said about letting God do all the work. Why do you think he gave us free will? He also said that he only helps those who help themselves. Certainly pray to God for guidance and strength, but he's really not going to tell you what to do or make things happen for you. YOU are making the decisions you're making. Saying that it's God is showing a lack of understanding and also offsetting responsibility.
If you are serious about becoming a Christian and living a Christian life, that's great. But you need to really get it before you try to live by it. Join a Bible study group or a Christian parent group in your town, if there are any.
You need to stop cutting your hair then. You'll need it to wash Jesus' feet with when he comes back.
Oh, and no eating pork or shellfish either.
And if you're wearing any clothing made from cotton/poly blends, you have to burn them.
And if any crop was grown in a field that once grew another crop, then you can't eat it.
And are you going to think that gays are bad and should be stoned to death, or are you going to believe in forgiveness and let them be? Why?
Are you planning to raise your daughters to be submissive to men, to literally think of themselves as property and and helpmeets to their future husbands, their sole existence being to have lots of babies and keep house for their husbands, without it being their choice, but rather what they are supposed to do?
Umm...no. Like 99% of those rules are mentioned in Leviticus, and they do not apply to Christians. They only apply to the most conservative fundamentalist Christians. I'm not a conservative fundamentalist. The gay rule is everywhere--but I am going to be like God and be forgiving as the Bible says we should be.
The submissive etc. thing doesn't even really apply either. :)
I HAVE a church. And, to be quite honest, I do not know a single woman at my church that is 100% submissive to her husband. Who said I wouldn't be partially submissive to my husband? As long as his requests are reasonable...however I would much rather us be considered equals because men aren't better than women. And my husband WILL have chores (just toilet duty and vacuuming) , I won't be stuck doing ALL the housework alone. And my husband isn't to boss me around and treat me like a slave either. Being submissive is one thing, being treated like a slave....well that's a whole 'nother story.
Catholics are the fundiest of the Christians and the most annoying. So, no I don't care what Catholics do/don't do. I find quite a lot of their practices intriguing and plan to do them myself (such as praying the Rosary) but a lot of them just don't make any sense at all.
Re: Questionsex_aria_staJune 13 2008, 06:36:10 UTC
So your plan is to pick and choose which rules apply to you? His rules being "reasonable" or not don't matter. It's not your place to designate your husband's chores, and that's presuming you find someone willing to be with someone who's had three kids by different unknown fathers.
Did I say submissiveness meant being a slave? No. But it does mean submitting to your husband's will.
Really, study the religion more before deciding you're going to raise your kids in a religion you really know nothing about. Otherwise you're a half-assed Christian in any sense of the word.
Any man that wishes to marry me wouldn't make ridiculous requests of me anyways, I'm not the type to be bossed around and I will hurt him if he tried.
So if my husband, say, wanted to slap me around for the shits and giggles of it, I'm supposed to allow him? No. If he wanted to ban me from any life whatsoever outside of the house am I supposed to allow him? No.
Christian wives do NOT have to bend to their husbands every whim, they do have to be submissive to a point, but not 100% submissive and they do not have to submit to every request he makes.
Like I said in another comment--My aunt is a good Christian woman, probably the best Christian I've EVER met. Yet she does NOT submit to my uncles every whim. Actually she isn't very submissive of him at all---she may be sarcastic sometimes and be all "Yes dear, whatever you say dear" but really, she argues with him more than submits to him. Granted it's mostly his fault for being lazy, but still.
The chores thing? Well, if my husband wants a clean toilet then he can clean it himself. I do not clean toilets. On the rare occasion that I do you could hear me screaming Eww a block away and gagging my head off. I don't mind vacuuming that much, but I'm not good at vacuuming so if he wants the floor vacuumed right then he needs to do it himself.
And you are, of course, assuming that my husband will be Christian.
Where there's a will, there's a way, and anyone can find a husband. I know a few women that have found a husband that already had kids as well, and they are doing just fine. Oh right, I forgot....I'm already engaged....and, guess what? My fiance is NOT Christian, he is NOT bossy and does NOT care if I'm submissive or not, however I am submissive to quite a few of his requests. We've already talked about what's expected of me---take care of kids, keep the house cleaned, etc. the normal SAHM stuff, and I'm not allowed to have a job outside of the house. And he knows what's expected of him---toilet and vacuuming and taking out the trash. And, he DOES NOT care. Otherwise? He gives me freedom to do whatever I wish. He knows I wouldn't cheat on him so he isn't worried about that. And I know you guys don't believe that I'm engaged, but come September when I'm married...boy won't I show you. :)
So... you're going to follow the will of you're spiffy new God in all things (and force your kids to do the same) except the things that you don't like. And you're going to be submissive to your husband, unless he tells you to do something you don't want to, in which case you'll pop him one.
Lady, you are making Aria_star look rational... and that's never happened before.
By all means, pursue a relationship in which you and your mate are equals. But don't say, "I'm a Christian (and I'm going to make my kids be Christians too) except that I listen to the Bible when I feel like it. And don't try to pretend that the Bible does not require women to submit and be propriety to their husbands, because that shit is in there all the way through, even in the New Testament.
Which is just one of the many, many reasons I am not a Christian.
I'm fairly certain my marriage won't crumble--if it does he's already told me I can still live with him until I get on my feet, and if I don't want to stay with him any longer I have plenty of friends who would be willing to take me in temporarily.
Oh, you saying that doesn't bother me at all, I still swear quite a bit....although I'm trying to get rid of that habit.
Re: Questionsex_aria_staJune 14 2008, 20:08:39 UTC
Have you ANY IDEA how many times people say that? But it so rarely happens. He's not going to want to support you and your three fatherless kids. You plan to never work. Oh, and how about getting on your feet NOW?
I realize this isn't really the place to discuss religion, but you were questioning why I was doing something, so I gave you a reason.
And I have a question: How in the world are you going to do "research" on how to parent children in a Christian way? Sure, you can ask on Christian forums and read the Christian forums (as I did) and pray a lot, but that's really all you can do.
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And I'd do more research into the religion itself, before using it as a parenting tool. And that would go for any religion. I would want to find out if there were any huge differences between my values and those of a particular religion, some of which may not be found out until learning more about the religion than what's on the surface.
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Read the Bible.
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If you are serious about becoming a Christian and living a Christian life, that's great. But you need to really get it before you try to live by it. Join a Bible study group or a Christian parent group in your town, if there are any.
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Oh, and no eating pork or shellfish either.
And if you're wearing any clothing made from cotton/poly blends, you have to burn them.
And if any crop was grown in a field that once grew another crop, then you can't eat it.
And are you going to think that gays are bad and should be stoned to death, or are you going to believe in forgiveness and let them be? Why?
Are you planning to raise your daughters to be submissive to men, to literally think of themselves as property and and helpmeets to their future husbands, their sole existence being to have lots of babies and keep house for their husbands, without it being their choice, but rather what they are supposed to do?
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The submissive etc. thing doesn't even really apply either. :)
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The submissive thing is a BIG part of it. BIG. Women are supposed to submit to their husbands. Fuck, look at Catholicism and you'll see it clearly.
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Catholics are the fundiest of the Christians and the most annoying. So, no I don't care what Catholics do/don't do. I find quite a lot of their practices intriguing and plan to do them myself (such as praying the Rosary) but a lot of them just don't make any sense at all.
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Did I say submissiveness meant being a slave? No. But it does mean submitting to your husband's will.
Really, study the religion more before deciding you're going to raise your kids in a religion you really know nothing about. Otherwise you're a half-assed Christian in any sense of the word.
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So if my husband, say, wanted to slap me around for the shits and giggles of it, I'm supposed to allow him? No. If he wanted to ban me from any life whatsoever outside of the house am I supposed to allow him? No.
Christian wives do NOT have to bend to their husbands every whim, they do have to be submissive to a point, but not 100% submissive and they do not have to submit to every request he makes.
Like I said in another comment--My aunt is a good Christian woman, probably the best Christian I've EVER met. Yet she does NOT submit to my uncles every whim. Actually she isn't very submissive of him at all---she may be sarcastic sometimes and be all "Yes dear, whatever you say dear" but really, she argues with him more than submits to him. Granted it's mostly his fault for being lazy, but still.
The chores thing? Well, if my husband wants a clean toilet then he can clean it himself. I do not clean toilets. On the rare occasion that I do you could hear me screaming Eww a block away and gagging my head off. I don't mind vacuuming that much, but I'm not good at vacuuming so if he wants the floor vacuumed right then he needs to do it himself.
And you are, of course, assuming that my husband will be Christian.
Where there's a will, there's a way, and anyone can find a husband. I know a few women that have found a husband that already had kids as well, and they are doing just fine. Oh right, I forgot....I'm already engaged....and, guess what? My fiance is NOT Christian, he is NOT bossy and does NOT care if I'm submissive or not, however I am submissive to quite a few of his requests. We've already talked about what's expected of me---take care of kids, keep the house cleaned, etc. the normal SAHM stuff, and I'm not allowed to have a job outside of the house. And he knows what's expected of him---toilet and vacuuming and taking out the trash. And, he DOES NOT care. Otherwise? He gives me freedom to do whatever I wish. He knows I wouldn't cheat on him so he isn't worried about that. And I know you guys don't believe that I'm engaged, but come September when I'm married...boy won't I show you. :)
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Lady, you are making Aria_star look rational... and that's never happened before.
By all means, pursue a relationship in which you and your mate are equals. But don't say, "I'm a Christian (and I'm going to make my kids be Christians too) except that I listen to the Bible when I feel like it. And don't try to pretend that the Bible does not require women to submit and be propriety to their husbands, because that shit is in there all the way through, even in the New Testament.
Which is just one of the many, many reasons I am not a Christian.
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Lol. What if your marriage crumbles? Pardon my non-Christian dialect, but then you'll really be fucked.
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Oh, you saying that doesn't bother me at all, I still swear quite a bit....although I'm trying to get rid of that habit.
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