To Shave or Not to Shave
Background stuff you can skip if you just don't care.
So, my husband is the hairiest Portuguese Hawaiian ever. Or rather, his German grandmother seems to have infected his DNA more so than the rest of his genetics that are supposed to be non-hairy. The side effect of this is that my eldest daughter has inherited his hairiness.
This never really was an issue, but because she is rapidly approaching puberty, the discussion of shaving has come up.
My husband made the comment that she may need to start shaving her legs soon. I told him I didn't believe that she should be allowed to do so until middle school. What does an elementary schooler need to shave for and all that?
I also said that I don't want to teach her to do so until she asks as I don't want her to get the impression that shaving is something she has to do. I feel like if I tell her to start shaving at a certain age she will get the idea that shaving is something she is supposed to do as a woman, rather than something she can do if she wants to.
Which he agrees with. Then he pointed out the reason for suggesting it in the first place. By 7th grade I had grown a fair amount of hair on my underarms. It was...to put it nicely...very noticeable. I didn't shave it because I didn't know how and I was too embarrassed to ask my mom how. My mom never suggested it because she felt I was too young to be shaving in the first place.
This came up frequently in the year because all the nice dresses I owned were sleeveless (Yay South Florida) and between dances and friends' Bat/Bar Mitzvahs, I wore them a lot. And got made fun of and or reviled by a lot of guys because of it. Not to mention the girls making fun of me as well. This did not go well for my already non-existent self esteem. I was not made stronger by this incident regardless of what feel good parenting sometimes wants you to believe.
Which puts me in an interesting quandary? How do you broach this issue? If you believe that shaving is not a tool of the patriarchy how is the best way to go about teaching your daughter about shaving.
Or, should we never teach our daughters about shaving as it's more likely that we will give them complexes they shouldn't have?
Ultimately, what age is the appropriate age to suggest shaving to your daughter, if at all?
So, my husband is the hairiest Portuguese Hawaiian ever. Or rather, his German grandmother seems to have infected his DNA more so than the rest of his genetics that are supposed to be non-hairy. The side effect of this is that my eldest daughter has inherited his hairiness.
This never really was an issue, but because she is rapidly approaching puberty, the discussion of shaving has come up.
My husband made the comment that she may need to start shaving her legs soon. I told him I didn't believe that she should be allowed to do so until middle school. What does an elementary schooler need to shave for and all that?
I also said that I don't want to teach her to do so until she asks as I don't want her to get the impression that shaving is something she has to do. I feel like if I tell her to start shaving at a certain age she will get the idea that shaving is something she is supposed to do as a woman, rather than something she can do if she wants to.
Which he agrees with. Then he pointed out the reason for suggesting it in the first place. By 7th grade I had grown a fair amount of hair on my underarms. It was...to put it nicely...very noticeable. I didn't shave it because I didn't know how and I was too embarrassed to ask my mom how. My mom never suggested it because she felt I was too young to be shaving in the first place.
This came up frequently in the year because all the nice dresses I owned were sleeveless (Yay South Florida) and between dances and friends' Bat/Bar Mitzvahs, I wore them a lot. And got made fun of and or reviled by a lot of guys because of it. Not to mention the girls making fun of me as well. This did not go well for my already non-existent self esteem. I was not made stronger by this incident regardless of what feel good parenting sometimes wants you to believe.
Which puts me in an interesting quandary? How do you broach this issue? If you believe that shaving is not a tool of the patriarchy how is the best way to go about teaching your daughter about shaving.
Or, should we never teach our daughters about shaving as it's more likely that we will give them complexes they shouldn't have?
Ultimately, what age is the appropriate age to suggest shaving to your daughter, if at all?