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[fadeddesignxx]

Your biologically male or female child comes out to you as transexual. They are thirteen at the time, and have been expressing issues with their gender identity. Do you seek therapy for them, to see about potentially putting them on horomones? Do you ignore the issue? Do you call them by the correct pronouns, and a name they select

Comments

[bicrim]

As much as I'm a therapist and all, I don't like transfolk being diagnosed with GID. I just don't see being trans as a disorder anymore than I see homo or bisexuality as being a disorder. It's not common, but unusual doesn't always mean wrong.

That said, if my young teen told me they were trans, I would have them get some therapy with a trans-friendly therapist, so they could take the time to clarify what they wanted to do about it, if anything. I've had a lot of friends transition, and while I do understand it, it sometimes makes me sad--I wish there was more space in our society for people who have gender expressions that are different than the norm for their physical sex. I love butch women, and I feel bereft that so many of them are becoming men.

Anyway, I would support my child and help them to figure out what they needed to do. I would encourage them to finish puberty before taking hormones, for health reasons, but other than that, we would work with their needs.

[fadeddesignxx]

No, I agree, but it's part of the Harry Benjamin standards of care- you are who you are.

[bicrim]

I know, and I agree with the therapy before hormones and surgery, but I hate the diagnoses part.

[fadeddesignxx]

Me too. :( Ftm surgeries are soooooo expensive.

[krisw]

I don't know about therapy or hormones, it would depend on other factors, but I think I would call them by whatever name or pronouns they wanted.

[merlyn4401]

I would seek therapy and use the pronouns and name he wanted, but I wouldn't allow hormone treatment or gender reassignment surgery until he was older and his body was done growing.

[fadeddesignxx]

That's fine. :) I just ask, because if you catch it early enough, it'll prevent your natural puberty from happening, and go through with the correct gender. :)

[bicrim]

Maybe it's not PC to say so, but I would feel strongly about my child completing physical puberty as their birth sex, in case they did change their mind at a later date. I've known a few people who started the tranitioning process only to stop a few years later, and I wouldn't want my daughter to be stuck with a beard and a low voice from treatment at 13 if at 17 she wanted to be a girl or even somewhat girl-like again.

[fadeddesignxx]

I can somewhat agree with that, though I know that going through what is normal for females can be hellish on your average ftm (whom make up the vast majority of my friends).

[owlsarentaholes]

Yes, we'd seek therapy and consider hormones. I'd use their choice of names and pronouns with or without a diagnosis . . . it's just common decency to call someone what they want to be called.

[fadeddesignxx]

Thank you. :) I agree.

[justsurvive]

id have them get therapy. not to change, but how to handle themselves since its really hard to fit in being transgendered. id call them by the name they wish to be called and let them dress as whichever sex they want.