sevtroi in booju_mooju

Raising a Bilingual child?

Mar 07, 2010 13:48

Is it okay to raise a child bi-lingual if your partner can't speak the other language?

I think its something that would be beneficial to the child, but also fear that it could become a block where one's partner feels left out.

Thoughts?

Comments (46)

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notodette

My husband is Portuguese. I have been unable to learn the language so far, but if he ever gets his butt in gear and starts teaching it to the babies, I'd love love to learn along with them (although they'll be better students than me, for sure.)

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jewe1z

It's more difficult if your partner's family speaks a language other than English and you live in an English speaking area, but it's doable. I've been there before too and I learned the language in under a year because I didn't like feeling left out. Learning anything new is a great opportunity for bonding (learning along with the kid would be fun) and you get lots of in-law points for trying.

There was this one time my boyfriend's grandmother and I sat in the corner teaching each other dirty words in the other's language. You haven't lived until you've seen an 85 year old Portuguese women walk around yelling "fuckyfucky" and "sanavabeech." HA! good times...

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bungo

As consolation to the poor non-other-language-speaking partner, it's relatively easy to pick up a language when you're listening in while kids learn it... at least to the level of talking to them. I learned a whole bunch of German from spending a few weekends playing with children who didn't speak a word of English, and now I'm learning more while my wife speaks it to our child.

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bluemoonpnw

It is always a good thing to grow up bilingual IMO. I have had several friends over the years who did, and one whose father completely forbid his wife to speak her milk tongue in front of the kids at all. (yeah, back in the bad old days, he beat her and the kids too)
It was a loss that couldn't be regained later in life.

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notodette

BTW, LOL at everyone saying the partner should just learn the language, too. Like we can just open a book, or listen to a CD or pick it up from family conversation.

It is a bit more involved than that! Not that we shouldn't TRY, but it's not exactly, oh hey, I think I'll learn a new language today, kwim?

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missusmoonlight

I don't see where anyone said it would be easy. If he/she feels left out, put in the effort or quit being butt hurt.

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jewe1z

EXACTLY!

My oldest bestie moved here from Korea when she was 5. Her dad put in great effort to learn English right away, but her mom refused to even try and it was definitely a block between parent/child. Whenever her mother would say something in Korean around English speaking company, my friend would get so frustrated and yell - "SAY IT IN ENGLISH MOMMY!!! JUST TRY!!!"

After years of quietly sitting in the corner being butthurt while we all sat around talking and laughing, her mom finally caved and started learning.

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elizabethann40

Pretty much this. Yes, it's gonna be easier for the child, but that doesn't mean you can't take a whack at it.

The minute you stop learning, you're pretty much dead.

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katsiss

Mos def teach the kid, I'm sure the other parent will pick up bits and pieces along the way but don't push it on them.

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sevtroi in booju_mooju

Comments (46)

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