Male Pregnancy, Worries and Excitement.

Hi, I'm new to the group but I wanted to get involved and meet people who are either planning to have a baby, expecting or already have them maybe. Basically my situation is a bit weird because legally I'm male but I was born in the wrong body, several years ago I realised that I was in the wrong body and since changing into a man I feel a lot better about who I am and where I am in life. Being legally recognised as male was the final achievable goal as it were in my journey. There are still other steps for me to take on the long road ahead, it would have been a lot easier if I'd have been born as a boy but some people are born with all sorts of defects and issues from the mundane to the insane and that's how the world is.

Fact is, the reason I'm here indeed, is because I've still got the necessary female biological workings inside me which means potentially, I could still grow life, babies...that sort of thing. The concept is un-nerving. I know that there are people in the same situation as me, like that Thomas Beattie guy in America who's now pregnant with his third child, good for him. I wouldn't have gone public with it but I guess that's just me. I don't consider live journal public as I'm not using my real name etc.

Anyway, fact of the matter is. I'm planning on having a baby and I'm scared. It might be scary for women to get pregnant but I don't think it's as scary as when you're a man. Women can just be women, they can wear maternity clothes and go about their lives but what do I do? People are gonna think I'm one heck of a fatty! There aren't really any maternity clothes for men either and there isn't a snowball's chance in hell I'm going to pretend to be woman just so I can wear their maternity stuff. No way, not after I've come this far.

I don't know what I'd hope for in an ideal world. As a gay man I'd have to resign myself to never having children of my own or having to deal with long and complicated legal procedures for either surrogacy or adoption. The easiest and cheapest option then, as horrifying as it is for me to consider, is making the baby myself. My heart thrills at the idea of having a child, being a dad, teaching it, helping it to become a good person. It's such a wonderful notion. But then my brain reminds me that to get to that point, it's 9 months of horror and hell, of watching what you eat, going without sushi, no drinking, no smoking, no soft cheese or mercury fish, no soft boiled eggs, no rare steaks, swollen feet, skin pigment changes, stretch marks, piles, cramps, sweats, cravings, hormones....I mean the list is as long as it is terrifying.

I don't know how women can willingly go through with this, of course if they didn't the human race would kind've dwindle.

Anyway, sorry for ranting or babbling or whatever but I'm really nervous. I want to be a dad, a good dad, but having the baby myself...it's the most terrifying thing I've ever encountered in my life. Please can you offer me some words of wisdom, advice, encouragement, sympathy...maybe even the web link for a shop that sells maternity clothes for men? I think that if there's an entrepeneur out there looking for an untapped market, that's the one.