Post-op appt was yesterday
So, I had my post-op appointment yesterday, and unfortunately, the final pathology wasn't good. Stage 3 cancer, grade 1.
The good news is that since they took the uterus and everything, there's not likely to be any more cancer cells in the body. The bad news is, i get to go through chemo and radiation. Whoop. E.
Not really looking forward to that, but it is what it is. First round of chemo on Dec 12. Doc tells me I'm pretty certain to lose my hair, so I will probably shave it and invest in some colorful head-scarves. And maybe some giant clip-on earring so I can look like a pirate all day....
I can tell I'm feeling somewhat dispirited at this point, even though the chemo and radiation are more an issue of good preventive measures right now. It's just that I wanted to come home yesterday and through away the green folder that has held all my medical appt information and stuff yesterday as a sign Things Were Over. Instead, things are not over, and I get to look forward to a treatment that tends to make people feel almost as bad as the thing it's a treatment *for*. And also, given that pretty much every step of this journey, my doctors have been saying 'the indicators look fine', followed by the next step revealing something more serious... let's just say I'm a little paranoid at this point. Until I've got that 100% cancer free number, I'm not going to be 'sure everything will be ok'.
I will fight to the bitter end, or the triumphant ending, but right now... feeling less happy and more growly over the whole thing.
I am determined, however - I will not let this win, nor will it define my life.
On the gripping hand, cookies may well be in order.... and maybe a footrub from Buck. Speaking of which, I am determined to take part of my time right now and write something for the general fandom Christmas stocking. Not necessarily something Christ-massy, I'm not sure I have *that* in me, but something that I've been trying to get back to on my WIP pile. And hopefully, that promise to my fandom will help me get over my current funk.
I appreciate all my fandom friends and hugs to you all. Sorry for the sad news?
-boogieshoes
This entry was originally posted at https://boogieshoes.dreamwidth.org/269359.html. Feel free to comment here or there using OpenID.
The good news is that since they took the uterus and everything, there's not likely to be any more cancer cells in the body. The bad news is, i get to go through chemo and radiation. Whoop. E.
Not really looking forward to that, but it is what it is. First round of chemo on Dec 12. Doc tells me I'm pretty certain to lose my hair, so I will probably shave it and invest in some colorful head-scarves. And maybe some giant clip-on earring so I can look like a pirate all day....
I can tell I'm feeling somewhat dispirited at this point, even though the chemo and radiation are more an issue of good preventive measures right now. It's just that I wanted to come home yesterday and through away the green folder that has held all my medical appt information and stuff yesterday as a sign Things Were Over. Instead, things are not over, and I get to look forward to a treatment that tends to make people feel almost as bad as the thing it's a treatment *for*. And also, given that pretty much every step of this journey, my doctors have been saying 'the indicators look fine', followed by the next step revealing something more serious... let's just say I'm a little paranoid at this point. Until I've got that 100% cancer free number, I'm not going to be 'sure everything will be ok'.
I will fight to the bitter end, or the triumphant ending, but right now... feeling less happy and more growly over the whole thing.
I am determined, however - I will not let this win, nor will it define my life.
On the gripping hand, cookies may well be in order.... and maybe a footrub from Buck. Speaking of which, I am determined to take part of my time right now and write something for the general fandom Christmas stocking. Not necessarily something Christ-massy, I'm not sure I have *that* in me, but something that I've been trying to get back to on my WIP pile. And hopefully, that promise to my fandom will help me get over my current funk.
I appreciate all my fandom friends and hugs to you all. Sorry for the sad news?
-boogieshoes
This entry was originally posted at https://boogieshoes.dreamwidth.org/269359.html. Feel free to comment here or there using OpenID.