Fingers Crossed...
Hello everyone!
Well, I'm still stressed. I can't stand it anymore. Living in this dorm is killing me. Every time I go into a room, I feel judged. I'm alone and I hate it. All of my friends live in other dorms with the exception of Grant and Alex. Last night, I was getting some stuff done and I went into Grant's room to ask for an envelope and I heard him in Kaily's room. Well, I went in there and asked for one. Kaily said I could have one of her's (a nice gesture, amazing) and I left. I could hear them in my room laughing up a storm. I felt like shit because I was bored and alone with no one to talk to. It was like 3am, so I didn't want to wake anyone up. Well, I was sitting at my desk working on some things and I just started to cry. At first is was just small tears here and there and then I just started crying like crazy. I was crying for maybe 30 minutes when Grant IMed me. He asked me what was up and why I was still awake. For some reason, I told him I'd been crying. He came in and asked what was wrong. The truth it, so many things are stressing me out that I couldn't give him a good answer. I began listening to music. K.D. Lang's Hallelujah, Michelle Branch's Goodbye To You, Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter. I put on Maria Mena's Sorry and I just started hyperventilating and crying hysterically. Grant eventually calmed me down.. mostly because he kissed me again (I haven't formed an opinion on his kiss. However, I do know that I don't want a relationship right now, which I've told him). But, I still feel depressed. It's dance and the semester ending. Plus, it doesn't help that practically everyone in my dorm hates me.. or at least that is how they make me feel. I'm just waiting for the semester to end.
On a brighter note, Sandra told Lauren, Brookie, and I that we could have end of the semester conferences! Last semester we were denied this privilege because we weren't considered "majors". So, I'm wondering if this is a good sign or just them taking pity on us. We'll see. Speaking of dance, modern is still not thrilling me. The only good points in my week have been rehearsals, where, the more we rehearse, the more confident I feel. I have another conference with just Lynn tomorrow and I'm VERY nervous. Argh.. we'll see how that goes, as well.
Well, I found out that I can write another philosophy paper to boost my grade. But, I think I'm going to rewrite my last paper and shoot for an A. I'll probably write the third paper, too. Just to ensure an A. All of this will have to be done this weekend. Grr.. busy busy!
I still have two music papers to write and a modern paper. Plus, I have to finish my book for philosophy and figure out my placement testing for French. On top of it all, I still have to appeal those parking tickets.
The last thing that is stressing me is scheduling. Being a freshman sucks! I never know if I'm going to get the classes I want. I really hope I get ALL of my classes.
Fingers crossed for SO MANY things!!!!!!
Well, I'm still stressed. I can't stand it anymore. Living in this dorm is killing me. Every time I go into a room, I feel judged. I'm alone and I hate it. All of my friends live in other dorms with the exception of Grant and Alex. Last night, I was getting some stuff done and I went into Grant's room to ask for an envelope and I heard him in Kaily's room. Well, I went in there and asked for one. Kaily said I could have one of her's (a nice gesture, amazing) and I left. I could hear them in my room laughing up a storm. I felt like shit because I was bored and alone with no one to talk to. It was like 3am, so I didn't want to wake anyone up. Well, I was sitting at my desk working on some things and I just started to cry. At first is was just small tears here and there and then I just started crying like crazy. I was crying for maybe 30 minutes when Grant IMed me. He asked me what was up and why I was still awake. For some reason, I told him I'd been crying. He came in and asked what was wrong. The truth it, so many things are stressing me out that I couldn't give him a good answer. I began listening to music. K.D. Lang's Hallelujah, Michelle Branch's Goodbye To You, Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter. I put on Maria Mena's Sorry and I just started hyperventilating and crying hysterically. Grant eventually calmed me down.. mostly because he kissed me again (I haven't formed an opinion on his kiss. However, I do know that I don't want a relationship right now, which I've told him). But, I still feel depressed. It's dance and the semester ending. Plus, it doesn't help that practically everyone in my dorm hates me.. or at least that is how they make me feel. I'm just waiting for the semester to end.
On a brighter note, Sandra told Lauren, Brookie, and I that we could have end of the semester conferences! Last semester we were denied this privilege because we weren't considered "majors". So, I'm wondering if this is a good sign or just them taking pity on us. We'll see. Speaking of dance, modern is still not thrilling me. The only good points in my week have been rehearsals, where, the more we rehearse, the more confident I feel. I have another conference with just Lynn tomorrow and I'm VERY nervous. Argh.. we'll see how that goes, as well.
Well, I found out that I can write another philosophy paper to boost my grade. But, I think I'm going to rewrite my last paper and shoot for an A. I'll probably write the third paper, too. Just to ensure an A. All of this will have to be done this weekend. Grr.. busy busy!
I still have two music papers to write and a modern paper. Plus, I have to finish my book for philosophy and figure out my placement testing for French. On top of it all, I still have to appeal those parking tickets.
The last thing that is stressing me is scheduling. Being a freshman sucks! I never know if I'm going to get the classes I want. I really hope I get ALL of my classes.
Fingers crossed for SO MANY things!!!!!!