Space: The Final Frontier
In recent times, I've been re-introduced to a world that I have loved as long as I can remember. I don't know what it was that initially intrigued me, what it was that drew me in, but I'm back again. Back into the world that is Star Trek.
At this point, many of you will probably want to tune me out. That's ok.
I've come and gone through many sci-fi properties including, but not limited to: Star Trek, Star Wars, Firefly, Dr. Who. But I'm back to Star Trek in recent times. Perhaps It is Imzadi's fault. Though fault is not something I would use to describe it so much as intervention. I'd forgotten Star Trek, bored and upset with what had been spewed out as "canon" in recent years by that which is known as Enterprise. Not Star Trek: Enterprise, though, because they wanted to get away from the Star Trek name. Boy, that's a dumb fucking thought.
I think the reason anyone gets into science fiction that is in the realm of Star Trek (and others that portray a future of humanity), is to escape and to hope for something better. When I was into Next Generation, It was a pretty pathetic time in my life. I was having my ass handed to me on an almost daily basis by anyone and everyone because I wouldn't stand up for myself. (This isn't a pity party, just setting up context.) The only escape I had was Star Trek. Saturdays at 7pm, ABC. I was on to the TNG. Despite the cheesiness (Queso-itude, even) of the Wesley Crusher character, that was one of my two entry points; him and Data. Because I had spent a lot of time trying to understand humanity. And here ws a character that, too, was trying to grok that which is human.
Maybe I got old and cynical. Maybe I just wasn't willing to replace those who stood on the bridge of NCC-1701-D. Just... Maybe. But I couldn't get behind the newer series. DS9 tried to capture some TNG audience with the addition of Michael Dorn's Worf, but it didn't do it for me, at least not at the time of first airing. But I remember the DS9 Series Premiere. Crystal clear, to be honest. I was the only one up, home, watching it. In the living room. Lights off. I couldn't have been more than 4 feet from the TV. I *WANTED* to be transfixed. I *WANTED* to become absorbed in it. But nothing. Nothing materialized.
And then Voyager happened. And, let's face it, selling sex? Yeah, that works in Star Trek. I loved TNG because it was just... amazing (mid-season 2 and forward). Sure, I lusted painfully after Gates McFadden's Dr. Crusher. But who wouldn't? Those lucious red locks? The affinity for bald(ing) men? I'd have a sweet chance now.
Suffice it to say, Voyager barely worked. *BARELY*. It's only one-up on DS9 was that they were, in fact, exploring, moving through space.
Then, we get to my the mostly-letting down movies. In theory (and before Nemesis came out), the pattern was that if you were an even numbered flick, you would be hawesome: 2 - Wrath of Khan, 4 - Voyage Home, 6 - Undiscovered Country (with Christian Slater appearance), 8 - First (Mothafucking) Contact. And then there's Nemesis. I just watched it. So, really, it's fresh in my mind.
This wasnt a great movie. A good 2-part TV episode, yes, but not a great movie. Even with that said, when Data dies, I cry (and just did) like a little fucking bitch. Since 1987, I've followed these characters. I've read dozens of TNG novels. I invested more into all of that than I probably should have.
And then producers try to pass off Enterprise as the fucking prequel? And, oh wait, it gets better. And here is how I imagine the Hollywood Exec conversation:
Monkey #1: Hmmm. Enterprise didn't work. Maybe prequels are not the way to go.
Monkey #2: I dunno, sir. People love Kirk and Spock. Maybe we could do a movie. A prequel movie. And have it surround a young Kirk and Spock.
Monkey #1: But will people accept it? I mean, *everyone* knows that Shatner and Nimoy are *THE* Kirk & Spock.
Monkey #2: No, no, no. No problems. We get some young, hot faces. Maybe some sweet teenie bopper vagina. We can sell this thing as The O.C. in space.
Monkey #1: But what about the fans who have invested so much money and time into this? Don't we owe them SOMETHING better than tits in space?
Monkey #2: You're thinking too much. Remember: Big grosses equal better parking spots and blow jobs.
Monkey #1: Oh shit, you're right. I wonder if we can get Lindsay Lohan as the love interest of Kirk...
Star Trek is almost a guaranteed money machine. You do it half right and you can have enough money for hookers, coke, and vietnamese prostitutes til the day you die. All you need to do is 50%. And I'm even willing to watch that number shift a little.
But, no. Hollywood execs (and I'm looking at you, you fucking ass clowns, Berman and Braga) have, it seems, TRIED to make it fail. At first, their ideas were great. TNG became more "real." Less hokey. But then it quickly became clear that these fucking guys had a total of 10 fucking ideas and just recycled them over and over again.
And why all of this now? Because. Because of this. And, because of this. Oh, and let's not forget this. And, thankfully, because of this.
At this point, many of you will probably want to tune me out. That's ok.
I've come and gone through many sci-fi properties including, but not limited to: Star Trek, Star Wars, Firefly, Dr. Who. But I'm back to Star Trek in recent times. Perhaps It is Imzadi's fault. Though fault is not something I would use to describe it so much as intervention. I'd forgotten Star Trek, bored and upset with what had been spewed out as "canon" in recent years by that which is known as Enterprise. Not Star Trek: Enterprise, though, because they wanted to get away from the Star Trek name. Boy, that's a dumb fucking thought.
I think the reason anyone gets into science fiction that is in the realm of Star Trek (and others that portray a future of humanity), is to escape and to hope for something better. When I was into Next Generation, It was a pretty pathetic time in my life. I was having my ass handed to me on an almost daily basis by anyone and everyone because I wouldn't stand up for myself. (This isn't a pity party, just setting up context.) The only escape I had was Star Trek. Saturdays at 7pm, ABC. I was on to the TNG. Despite the cheesiness (Queso-itude, even) of the Wesley Crusher character, that was one of my two entry points; him and Data. Because I had spent a lot of time trying to understand humanity. And here ws a character that, too, was trying to grok that which is human.
Maybe I got old and cynical. Maybe I just wasn't willing to replace those who stood on the bridge of NCC-1701-D. Just... Maybe. But I couldn't get behind the newer series. DS9 tried to capture some TNG audience with the addition of Michael Dorn's Worf, but it didn't do it for me, at least not at the time of first airing. But I remember the DS9 Series Premiere. Crystal clear, to be honest. I was the only one up, home, watching it. In the living room. Lights off. I couldn't have been more than 4 feet from the TV. I *WANTED* to be transfixed. I *WANTED* to become absorbed in it. But nothing. Nothing materialized.
And then Voyager happened. And, let's face it, selling sex? Yeah, that works in Star Trek. I loved TNG because it was just... amazing (mid-season 2 and forward). Sure, I lusted painfully after Gates McFadden's Dr. Crusher. But who wouldn't? Those lucious red locks? The affinity for bald(ing) men? I'd have a sweet chance now.
Suffice it to say, Voyager barely worked. *BARELY*. It's only one-up on DS9 was that they were, in fact, exploring, moving through space.
Then, we get to my the mostly-letting down movies. In theory (and before Nemesis came out), the pattern was that if you were an even numbered flick, you would be hawesome: 2 - Wrath of Khan, 4 - Voyage Home, 6 - Undiscovered Country (with Christian Slater appearance), 8 - First (Mothafucking) Contact. And then there's Nemesis. I just watched it. So, really, it's fresh in my mind.
This wasnt a great movie. A good 2-part TV episode, yes, but not a great movie. Even with that said, when Data dies, I cry (and just did) like a little fucking bitch. Since 1987, I've followed these characters. I've read dozens of TNG novels. I invested more into all of that than I probably should have.
And then producers try to pass off Enterprise as the fucking prequel? And, oh wait, it gets better. And here is how I imagine the Hollywood Exec conversation:
Monkey #1: Hmmm. Enterprise didn't work. Maybe prequels are not the way to go.
Monkey #2: I dunno, sir. People love Kirk and Spock. Maybe we could do a movie. A prequel movie. And have it surround a young Kirk and Spock.
Monkey #1: But will people accept it? I mean, *everyone* knows that Shatner and Nimoy are *THE* Kirk & Spock.
Monkey #2: No, no, no. No problems. We get some young, hot faces. Maybe some sweet teenie bopper vagina. We can sell this thing as The O.C. in space.
Monkey #1: But what about the fans who have invested so much money and time into this? Don't we owe them SOMETHING better than tits in space?
Monkey #2: You're thinking too much. Remember: Big grosses equal better parking spots and blow jobs.
Monkey #1: Oh shit, you're right. I wonder if we can get Lindsay Lohan as the love interest of Kirk...
Star Trek is almost a guaranteed money machine. You do it half right and you can have enough money for hookers, coke, and vietnamese prostitutes til the day you die. All you need to do is 50%. And I'm even willing to watch that number shift a little.
But, no. Hollywood execs (and I'm looking at you, you fucking ass clowns, Berman and Braga) have, it seems, TRIED to make it fail. At first, their ideas were great. TNG became more "real." Less hokey. But then it quickly became clear that these fucking guys had a total of 10 fucking ideas and just recycled them over and over again.
And why all of this now? Because. Because of this. And, because of this. Oh, and let's not forget this. And, thankfully, because of this.