(no subject)
hi...
I don't really know where to start. I haven't written in here because of lack of motivation. And maybe I really don't know how to write what's goin on in my life. It's pretty much nuts... I guess. My boyfriend has pretty much been stayin at my house, he has his license finally, and now he found a place with a buddy in Eagan I think. That means it will just be me.. my mom.. and my sis. Hm. I really do hate my new house. Have I mentioned that? I moved. And my house sucks. My sister doesn't even have a room. It's fucking small, we dont have any room for half of our stuff. I hate it. I think my dad made a terrible choice and literally bought it before any of us that would live in it got a chance to put in our view. I don't like Apple Valley, and I HATE that it's a town home. No fucking privacy, I caught a psycho black guy spying on me through his deck when I was out tanning one day. I still don't have furniture, we don't have a fucking main TV, My mom is a bum and our house will probably end up in the shit condition my old house was when we moved out because she does absolutely NOTHING all day. I can't having imagine having no motivation like she does. The thought is just outrageous. No wonder she is so miserable, why doesn't she DO SOMETHING about it???? Hamline is one thing to look forward too, I am excited to meet my roommate and move on to a totally fresh and new part of my life. Tuesday is my last day of school.. and then graduation. It should be interesting. It hasn't really hit me yet. But I am definitley ready. I feel like I have turned very pessimistic and negative- and I hate it.I am worrying constantly and can never first think of something good in a situation... I went rollerblading for the first time in a long time yesterday, it was great. It took me a lil bit to get used to it but I went quite a long ways, prolly 6-7 miles. Sometimes I feel like I really cant trust anybody, not even Ryan. It seems the one person I can really count on is Liz, and she lives an hour and a half away. I hate people that sugar coat shit and feel like they can't say what they really want. I may be an emotional person but I can take what you say and accept it. Lying gets you NO WHERE.
I hope this summer is my best. I'm going to try make it that way. I want to fill it with new adventures and experiences.. there is a modest mouse lyric I really like and feel it relates to me... "And I claim I'm not excited with my life anymore... So I blame this town.. this job.. these friends... The truth is it's myself."
I guess that's all for now. until next time.
I don't really know where to start. I haven't written in here because of lack of motivation. And maybe I really don't know how to write what's goin on in my life. It's pretty much nuts... I guess. My boyfriend has pretty much been stayin at my house, he has his license finally, and now he found a place with a buddy in Eagan I think. That means it will just be me.. my mom.. and my sis. Hm. I really do hate my new house. Have I mentioned that? I moved. And my house sucks. My sister doesn't even have a room. It's fucking small, we dont have any room for half of our stuff. I hate it. I think my dad made a terrible choice and literally bought it before any of us that would live in it got a chance to put in our view. I don't like Apple Valley, and I HATE that it's a town home. No fucking privacy, I caught a psycho black guy spying on me through his deck when I was out tanning one day. I still don't have furniture, we don't have a fucking main TV, My mom is a bum and our house will probably end up in the shit condition my old house was when we moved out because she does absolutely NOTHING all day. I can't having imagine having no motivation like she does. The thought is just outrageous. No wonder she is so miserable, why doesn't she DO SOMETHING about it???? Hamline is one thing to look forward too, I am excited to meet my roommate and move on to a totally fresh and new part of my life. Tuesday is my last day of school.. and then graduation. It should be interesting. It hasn't really hit me yet. But I am definitley ready. I feel like I have turned very pessimistic and negative- and I hate it.I am worrying constantly and can never first think of something good in a situation... I went rollerblading for the first time in a long time yesterday, it was great. It took me a lil bit to get used to it but I went quite a long ways, prolly 6-7 miles. Sometimes I feel like I really cant trust anybody, not even Ryan. It seems the one person I can really count on is Liz, and she lives an hour and a half away. I hate people that sugar coat shit and feel like they can't say what they really want. I may be an emotional person but I can take what you say and accept it. Lying gets you NO WHERE.
I hope this summer is my best. I'm going to try make it that way. I want to fill it with new adventures and experiences.. there is a modest mouse lyric I really like and feel it relates to me... "And I claim I'm not excited with my life anymore... So I blame this town.. this job.. these friends... The truth is it's myself."
I guess that's all for now. until next time.