(no subject)
Lately I've felt really sad and really thoughtful.I can't even explain it I'm sad about things that even I don't understand.It drives me fuckin crazy.I just feel so stressed to be perfect all the time I don't even know why I just want people to like me.It never used to be a big thing for me but now I'm always worrying about everything and I just god I don't even understand it at all.I just feel like I don't even have any friends anymore.I mean when I'm sad I don't have anyone I can just call and talk to even if I'm crying hysterically.I know everyone else has problems too and I don't think mine or worse or anything but its just hard to explain.
Sometimes I'm so ashamed of things from my past I'm ashamed of things I haven't done and sometimes I'm just ashamed of who I am.
i've been thinks so goddamn much and trying to just understand who the fuck I even am any more.I don't even fucking know.So i'm sure no one else does either.
I hate my family most of the time.I just want my parents to notice me sometimes you know.Not always be busy not always be distracted I wanna talk to them I wanna do stuff with them.I know how fucking lame that is.But it really upsets me that they don't even notice anymore.I didn't like it when they always watched me but now I hate it that they don't I feel like they don't even care anymore.I know they do care.But I can't talk to them I can't open up to them about anything.They think they know me and everything about me.But they have no fucking clue at all.If I try to joke with my dad he just gets pissed at me for some reason.Not that I ever get a chance to talk to him.I feel so lonely right now.It just makes it so much worse that my parents aren't even there let alone anyone else.I dont' normally tell people when I'm sad I don't normally cry and tell people about it.But I also don't normally feel self concious.ughhh.I don't even know anymore.
Sometimes I'm so ashamed of things from my past I'm ashamed of things I haven't done and sometimes I'm just ashamed of who I am.
i've been thinks so goddamn much and trying to just understand who the fuck I even am any more.I don't even fucking know.So i'm sure no one else does either.
I hate my family most of the time.I just want my parents to notice me sometimes you know.Not always be busy not always be distracted I wanna talk to them I wanna do stuff with them.I know how fucking lame that is.But it really upsets me that they don't even notice anymore.I didn't like it when they always watched me but now I hate it that they don't I feel like they don't even care anymore.I know they do care.But I can't talk to them I can't open up to them about anything.They think they know me and everything about me.But they have no fucking clue at all.If I try to joke with my dad he just gets pissed at me for some reason.Not that I ever get a chance to talk to him.I feel so lonely right now.It just makes it so much worse that my parents aren't even there let alone anyone else.I dont' normally tell people when I'm sad I don't normally cry and tell people about it.But I also don't normally feel self concious.ughhh.I don't even know anymore.