a live journal exclusive....

[boobzilla]

This was titled street walker. but i don't think that is as fitting anymore.....
                      ~draft #2

i
am
a whore.
i am a prostitute.
i am a hooker.
a slut
being paid in pain for pleasuring you.
i'm your release
i make you smile
i make your pathetic life seem momentarily worthwile.

you slide your thoughts deep deep deeper into my body.
your lies they comfort me
in the same way your cold hand sends chills down my spine
ooooh yes, god you're the best...

i love it.
i want it.
i love you.
i need you.
i can't live without your lies.
you see the hurt inside my eyes
and then you know.

you know i feel broken, used, unwanted
you play upon my emptiness
please yes, oh god lie to me again

but now

i feel like i'm drifting away
no
not drifting,
falling.
yes...
yes...
yes, i am falling away from this life,
from this love,
from myself
from the person i thought i was
to the person i am
to the person i never wanted to become
you helped in making me feel this numb

sliding away from a life i've wanted so much
a life i could almost reach
almost touch
but with every word you penetrate my mind
i find the strength to pull away and you come for me again.
i don't want your lies.
i don't need your lies.
i can't take your lies.
i won't live your lies.

not anymore.

i'm no longer your whore,
your release, your employee
you can no longer force yourself upon me

not anymore

for i
am
free.