Dear Little Sister,
I know I've been writing a fair few letters lately, but I really think you need one.
You need a long letter. You need a letter that I can roll up into a thick wad and smack you in the face with it.
Look, I know what you're feeling, ok? I really do. I know you think I don't know but I do. And mum and dad do too. And every single thing we have said has been for your benefit.
What you need to ask yourself is why we would lie to you or try to stop you from having a good life? We don't want to hold you back, we only want to make sure you don't fall into a pit before you can even walk. You seem to think you will be able to survive this, but you won't be able to. You think you're being smart about this, but trust me - trust me - you're not. You're not thinking this through at all. We are honestly and earnestly trying to stop you from making what will PROBABLY be the biggest mistake of your life. I'm no mathematician but from what I've been told, I'm weighing your chances at around 96% chance of failure. I know you're not that good with numbers either, but those are not favourable odds.
You just don't seem to understand that as your family, the ones who know you the best in the world and who care about you more than anyone, including this guy - and this is very important, OK, because I mean much more than this guy. No, I don't know him personally and I don't need to, because he is not family. And it doesn't matter how long you've known him, two kids in "love" can NOT POSSIBLY see clearly enough to have each other's best interests at heart. The very nature of love is that it makes you silly and makes you blind. I don't want to name names but you know who I'm talking about when I say "remember that friend of mine that was madly in love, and what happened to her - she kept going back through months and months of abuse because 'he can change, I love him!'" Yes, you know who I'm talking about, and no I'm not comparing your beau to the sort of scummy shit that would beat on a woman, but the point is that she couldn't see what was best for her because she could only see love. And she would believe literally anything he said, even if his actions spoke volumes more than his mouth-words. Please, I am actually begging you here, PLEASE. Please listen to us!! I really thought I'd gotten through to you the other day on the phone, but today mum calls to tell me "thanks for trying but she's going to go ahead with it anyway", are you SERIOUS?! Really, are you serious. Because ... fuck. I don't actually care about him or his mother or anything else right now, but I'm telling you, if you actually do this, when it all falls through and you call begging for help (and it WILL happen, I fucking guarantee it) - nobody will be able to help you. It's not like we won't want to but we literally CAN'T. So please, fucking think! PLEASE. FUCKING. THINK. ONCE YOU DO THIS YOU CAN NOT UN DO IT. You haven't saved any money, you're not even taking everything - expecting mum and dad to hold on to your shit for you when the first thing they'll want to do it burn it out of frustration because you refuse to listen to reason. Do you really want to make mum cry this much? Because I know for a fact she hasn't been sleeping and she's been crying over this. You know her, she only cries when someone dies. And her and dad are going to stress themselves into an early grave, I hope you know what you're doing to them. You're quite literally breaking their hearts. You are making such a big mistake you don't even understand right now. But you will understand.
When you're older, you will understand.
Really, I don't think you've pictured every scenario here. You have only thought of all the ways it can go right (really there's only one or two of those), you have not given proper consideration to the hundreds of ways it can and most likely will go very, very wrong. Did mum even tell you that she really believes that his mother is going to convince him to get you pregnant so she can collect money from Centrelink? Because if you really think about people like *cough* OUR OWN AUNT, that doesn't seem like such a far-fetched idea now, does it? An unemployed mother and son living alone with no real money coming in, a cute, dumb girl that is the perfect age for pushing out babies ... jeez ... sounds right to me.
Let me tell you for a FACT - unless you DO push out a couple of screamers (and I swear to God you're no longer my sister if you are that absolutely fucking stupid), Centrelink will give you FUCK NOTHING. They will continue giving you FUCK NOTHING until you reach the wonderful age of 21 or 22 which by my count won't be til about 2015 ... and in Brisbane it might take you until 2015 to find a job too, so you're double fucked. I cannot actually believe that you would be so fucking dumb as to leave a stable job with plenty of work to move 11 hours away from your family, to a place with no work prospects (and here's you with no real experience or skill - even if there was work you wouldn't stand up to a smidgen of competition), and a woman that probably just wants to use you. I believe the guy is a good guy, ok? But he is also just a kid, and you're both being too selfish to actually think of what this sort of life decision means.
If you're that desperate to move out - and you can fucking believe I understand that - then by all means, come to Canberra. There is a shit-tonne of work and even more study opportunities (don't believe for a second that you can't further your studies because you fucking well can and I told you that a long time ago). At least there is family here and somewhere to go if you fall on your ass, because up there there is nothing.
When you're older, you might understand.
... *sigh* ... it's pretty rare that I'm speechless, but I really can't think of anything else to say. Except that honestly, if you make me an aunt before I'm a mother I will fucking kill you.
When you're older, you might understand.
You need a long letter. You need a letter that I can roll up into a thick wad and smack you in the face with it.
Look, I know what you're feeling, ok? I really do. I know you think I don't know but I do. And mum and dad do too. And every single thing we have said has been for your benefit.
What you need to ask yourself is why we would lie to you or try to stop you from having a good life? We don't want to hold you back, we only want to make sure you don't fall into a pit before you can even walk. You seem to think you will be able to survive this, but you won't be able to. You think you're being smart about this, but trust me - trust me - you're not. You're not thinking this through at all. We are honestly and earnestly trying to stop you from making what will PROBABLY be the biggest mistake of your life. I'm no mathematician but from what I've been told, I'm weighing your chances at around 96% chance of failure. I know you're not that good with numbers either, but those are not favourable odds.
You just don't seem to understand that as your family, the ones who know you the best in the world and who care about you more than anyone, including this guy - and this is very important, OK, because I mean much more than this guy. No, I don't know him personally and I don't need to, because he is not family. And it doesn't matter how long you've known him, two kids in "love" can NOT POSSIBLY see clearly enough to have each other's best interests at heart. The very nature of love is that it makes you silly and makes you blind. I don't want to name names but you know who I'm talking about when I say "remember that friend of mine that was madly in love, and what happened to her - she kept going back through months and months of abuse because 'he can change, I love him!'" Yes, you know who I'm talking about, and no I'm not comparing your beau to the sort of scummy shit that would beat on a woman, but the point is that she couldn't see what was best for her because she could only see love. And she would believe literally anything he said, even if his actions spoke volumes more than his mouth-words. Please, I am actually begging you here, PLEASE. Please listen to us!! I really thought I'd gotten through to you the other day on the phone, but today mum calls to tell me "thanks for trying but she's going to go ahead with it anyway", are you SERIOUS?! Really, are you serious. Because ... fuck. I don't actually care about him or his mother or anything else right now, but I'm telling you, if you actually do this, when it all falls through and you call begging for help (and it WILL happen, I fucking guarantee it) - nobody will be able to help you. It's not like we won't want to but we literally CAN'T. So please, fucking think! PLEASE. FUCKING. THINK. ONCE YOU DO THIS YOU CAN NOT UN DO IT. You haven't saved any money, you're not even taking everything - expecting mum and dad to hold on to your shit for you when the first thing they'll want to do it burn it out of frustration because you refuse to listen to reason. Do you really want to make mum cry this much? Because I know for a fact she hasn't been sleeping and she's been crying over this. You know her, she only cries when someone dies. And her and dad are going to stress themselves into an early grave, I hope you know what you're doing to them. You're quite literally breaking their hearts. You are making such a big mistake you don't even understand right now. But you will understand.
When you're older, you will understand.
Really, I don't think you've pictured every scenario here. You have only thought of all the ways it can go right (really there's only one or two of those), you have not given proper consideration to the hundreds of ways it can and most likely will go very, very wrong. Did mum even tell you that she really believes that his mother is going to convince him to get you pregnant so she can collect money from Centrelink? Because if you really think about people like *cough* OUR OWN AUNT, that doesn't seem like such a far-fetched idea now, does it? An unemployed mother and son living alone with no real money coming in, a cute, dumb girl that is the perfect age for pushing out babies ... jeez ... sounds right to me.
Let me tell you for a FACT - unless you DO push out a couple of screamers (and I swear to God you're no longer my sister if you are that absolutely fucking stupid), Centrelink will give you FUCK NOTHING. They will continue giving you FUCK NOTHING until you reach the wonderful age of 21 or 22 which by my count won't be til about 2015 ... and in Brisbane it might take you until 2015 to find a job too, so you're double fucked. I cannot actually believe that you would be so fucking dumb as to leave a stable job with plenty of work to move 11 hours away from your family, to a place with no work prospects (and here's you with no real experience or skill - even if there was work you wouldn't stand up to a smidgen of competition), and a woman that probably just wants to use you. I believe the guy is a good guy, ok? But he is also just a kid, and you're both being too selfish to actually think of what this sort of life decision means.
If you're that desperate to move out - and you can fucking believe I understand that - then by all means, come to Canberra. There is a shit-tonne of work and even more study opportunities (don't believe for a second that you can't further your studies because you fucking well can and I told you that a long time ago). At least there is family here and somewhere to go if you fall on your ass, because up there there is nothing.
When you're older, you might understand.
... *sigh* ... it's pretty rare that I'm speechless, but I really can't think of anything else to say. Except that honestly, if you make me an aunt before I'm a mother I will fucking kill you.
When you're older, you might understand.