(no subject)
I Don't Know Why, I Didn't Come
I like that song. I liked alot of her songs, as sung by Lanetha. Did yall see the hurting that Texas put on Arizona State last night? That was sad and funny at the same time. Anyway, once again, i'm in the wonderful beautiful city of Minden. I don't understand when i'm bored in Baton Rouge, I don't feel as insane as when i'm bored in Minden. I think i've bred myself to feel this way. Thats bad, my family is here. And I love them. Okay its time to psycho-analyze my feelings for Minden. Please feel free to skip this next paragraph, or read it, hell I don't care. Hell.
Okay, on December 11th, 1985, I was born at Minden Medical Center. Blah blah, my grandma won a bet and I wasn't a girl. Cool. Okay fast forward, lived in a two bedroom house up until I went to college. Three older brothers, constant fighting. They never let me join in on their reindeer games tha bitches. I feel that I was constantly starving for their attention/acceptance. I liked to spend time with my great grandfather, and I lost him when I was 9. Didn't have many friends before Junior High when I became an officer in my student council. I ended up with a lot of white friends. Some of their parents didn't really like me being around, and others didn't care. I wasn't blind to the idea of racism or whatever the word would be for this, but I never really actually looked at it that way because my parents were basically the same way with not wanting me going over to their places. Ummm, high school sucked the first year cause the teachers all assumed I was like Mario and Wash. I lost Mama Shug and Scotty while in highschool. That sucked. High school was pretty fun, no issues, I liked everyone, I feel that I could consider myself popular back then. Thats when I became friends with Britni and thats when the rumors about us dating started circulating, it was great. I got along great with my teachers then. I felt free and happy at school. Then I left. Hmmmm that doesn't seem so bad, maybe i'm blocking out the bad stuff? Or maybe the bad stuff came when I came to college. Friends passing away, friends getting arrested, getting guns pulled on me, having to drive long distances to see people and do stuff. And then coming home is always an ordeal. I dunno if its ENS or I just don't come home enough. Freshman year I came home all the time. Now i'm trying to save gas and money and mental stability. I just get badgered with questions and requests and all I wanna do is rest when I come home, but I never get to do that. And then its like everything is an issue, my house feels so depressing. My brothers never come around, theres always something new I don't know about, and their computer is always messed up somehow. Maybe thats why. You know how parents get under your skin for no reason? Like I can talk my parents up and down the block if I wanted to cause they're really amazing and have done alot to get to where they are now, but its like, I can never think of that when they're around. But its not even that, when i'm home alone, I wanna pull my hair out. And I can't go to Wal-Mart cause I feel awkward seeing my friends there. Its like...I feel like I've lost my connections with them and I have nothing of interest to say. I dunno, i'm starting to feel like a douche bag all of the sudden and maybe its just that I'm not good enough for Minden anymore. This town is truly great, nice and homely, and I have issues with it. I'm done.
I hate phones. I want them all to die. I want to sleep, then they ring, and I hate it. And I can't not answer them, cause then people will be mad and ask why I didn't answer the phone. And I can't throw and break my phone because people will get mad or some gay sh*t like that. UGH!! I wish I could just fucking psychically contact everybody hell. I'm done, I'm bout to go see Courtney. Hahahaha up there I said I wanna pull my hair out, but I don't have any hair! The End
I like that song. I liked alot of her songs, as sung by Lanetha. Did yall see the hurting that Texas put on Arizona State last night? That was sad and funny at the same time. Anyway, once again, i'm in the wonderful beautiful city of Minden. I don't understand when i'm bored in Baton Rouge, I don't feel as insane as when i'm bored in Minden. I think i've bred myself to feel this way. Thats bad, my family is here. And I love them. Okay its time to psycho-analyze my feelings for Minden. Please feel free to skip this next paragraph, or read it, hell I don't care. Hell.
Okay, on December 11th, 1985, I was born at Minden Medical Center. Blah blah, my grandma won a bet and I wasn't a girl. Cool. Okay fast forward, lived in a two bedroom house up until I went to college. Three older brothers, constant fighting. They never let me join in on their reindeer games tha bitches. I feel that I was constantly starving for their attention/acceptance. I liked to spend time with my great grandfather, and I lost him when I was 9. Didn't have many friends before Junior High when I became an officer in my student council. I ended up with a lot of white friends. Some of their parents didn't really like me being around, and others didn't care. I wasn't blind to the idea of racism or whatever the word would be for this, but I never really actually looked at it that way because my parents were basically the same way with not wanting me going over to their places. Ummm, high school sucked the first year cause the teachers all assumed I was like Mario and Wash. I lost Mama Shug and Scotty while in highschool. That sucked. High school was pretty fun, no issues, I liked everyone, I feel that I could consider myself popular back then. Thats when I became friends with Britni and thats when the rumors about us dating started circulating, it was great. I got along great with my teachers then. I felt free and happy at school. Then I left. Hmmmm that doesn't seem so bad, maybe i'm blocking out the bad stuff? Or maybe the bad stuff came when I came to college. Friends passing away, friends getting arrested, getting guns pulled on me, having to drive long distances to see people and do stuff. And then coming home is always an ordeal. I dunno if its ENS or I just don't come home enough. Freshman year I came home all the time. Now i'm trying to save gas and money and mental stability. I just get badgered with questions and requests and all I wanna do is rest when I come home, but I never get to do that. And then its like everything is an issue, my house feels so depressing. My brothers never come around, theres always something new I don't know about, and their computer is always messed up somehow. Maybe thats why. You know how parents get under your skin for no reason? Like I can talk my parents up and down the block if I wanted to cause they're really amazing and have done alot to get to where they are now, but its like, I can never think of that when they're around. But its not even that, when i'm home alone, I wanna pull my hair out. And I can't go to Wal-Mart cause I feel awkward seeing my friends there. Its like...I feel like I've lost my connections with them and I have nothing of interest to say. I dunno, i'm starting to feel like a douche bag all of the sudden and maybe its just that I'm not good enough for Minden anymore. This town is truly great, nice and homely, and I have issues with it. I'm done.
I hate phones. I want them all to die. I want to sleep, then they ring, and I hate it. And I can't not answer them, cause then people will be mad and ask why I didn't answer the phone. And I can't throw and break my phone because people will get mad or some gay sh*t like that. UGH!! I wish I could just fucking psychically contact everybody hell. I'm done, I'm bout to go see Courtney. Hahahaha up there I said I wanna pull my hair out, but I don't have any hair! The End