Tales from the Boobie Bar!
Several sucks and a few WTF's.
Suck the first, from a night I was bouncing rather than dancing.
I was standing in front of the DJ booth, keeping an eye on a particular pair of guys. A dancer came around on her tip round, and stood between the two to get her tips. The first guy tipped her in her thong. As she turned to recieve the second tip the guy was holding out for her, the second guy suddenly yanked the dollars out of her thong. He did it well, too-she didn't even notice.
He's smiling, all kinds of pleased with himself for stealing from an employee working her ass off for tips only. Oooh, we're all so impressed.
So I walked up and tapped him and the dancer both on the shoulder. I shook my head at the guy, and said, "I believe you have something of hers."
He looked confused at first, and I pointed at the money in his hand. "I saw you take it." Embarrassed, he handed the money back over. Dancer is obviously pissed. I warn the guy-if I catch him acting out again or stealing again, I'd be more than happy to toss him from the club.
To his credit, he behaved for the rest of his stay in our establishment. But really-what the fuck? Who does that? And in front of an obvious member of staff (I had a shirt with [BAR NAME] and below that, STAFF on)? Sigh.
This next one happened to a co-worker, A.
A was going around for her tips. A customer decided to slap her ass as hard as he could.
She quite angrily told him that he wasn't allowed to do that. (Fun fact: if dancers retaliate physically to protect themselves in this bar, they get fired! Even though the bouncers rarely do their damn jobs-but I digress.)
Dude decides to laugh and high-five his buddy. So A goes over to Supercool!Manager. S!M was more than happy to toss them.
S!M=Supercool!Manager
C=Customer. Such a dummy.
S!M=*takes C's drink from him, tosses it* Time to go.
C=What?! Why am I being thrown out?!
S!M=You smacked A's ass, yes?
C=Yeah!
S!M=...
C=...
S!M=...you can't do that. You're leaving now. Feel free to return once you learn some manners.
C=...oh.
A little backstory to this one.
This particular day at work, I was wearing a long black wig. (What can I say, it's fun to change your hair ^.^) This wig, apparently, made me look dramatically different to the point that customers and some employees didn't recognize me.
So. I do my set on a very dead afternoon, and go around to a regular that I know. I greet him cheerfully and ask how he's been.
He glances at me, and says, "I don't have any money," even though there's a stack of ones on the bar. The dancer sitting with him stares at him with a 'wtf' look.
"Right. Of course you don't," I reply, and move on.
After my trip around the bar, I'm heading towards the door to the stairwell which leads to the dressing room. The aforementioned regular calls out to me.
"Kestrel? Kes? Hey, come here real quick." So I walk over. He holds out four dollars. "Hey, sorry about earlier, I didn't realize that was you, heh!"
I stared at him. "I take it that if I wasn't me, you wouldn't be apologizing?"
"...probably not..."
"That's fucked up." And away I went.
WOW.
It turns out that my long-suffering friend Skye has gained herself another stalker.
A regular of hers had been coming to the bar maybe once a week or every two weeks for over a year to see her. (That isn't the stalkerish part, I'm getting to that.) Skye had never done or said anything to even remotely imply that their relationship was anything but 'I dance and you give me money for it'. But! The last few times, he came in with a friend. It turns out he'd been telling said friend that he and Skye were getting married. The friend went on and on to Skye at the club about how happy he was for the two of them, etc.
o.O
Skye promptly set that shit straight.
The boy she is *actually* dating picks her up from work sometimes (she doesn't drive). Let's call him B.
The regular saw her leave with him one night. The next time B picked her up, the regular threatened him for 'trying to steal [his] wife'.
Skye told management about it. Management told her that next time he comes in, if he does ANYTHING out of line, he'd be tossed and barred from the place.
So, he comes in again. On a night I'm bouncing. I sit near to where he's sitting, B is across the bar with a friend of his, and Skye is coming around-she knows how to signal me if there's a problem.
She's over there for about three seconds when he grabs her in a tight hug. Signal be damned, I walk over and tap his shoulder. "Do not touch the girls, please." He looks confused, but lets go of her. Skye says a few more things to him, then moves on. The regular looks pissed/annoyed, and leaves.
Or so we thought. As I'm walking her out along with B and his friend, we see the regular sitting in the parking lot, engine idling, headlights on-as if he were waiting for her. She got into her boyfriend's car instead, and the regular flipped out. Revving the engine, flicking lights at B's car. I start to walk from the middle ground between B's car and the regulars, and the regular puts the car in gear and squeals out of the lot.
Happily, we haven't seen him since.
And a couple wtf's!
There's a customer who comes in only every once in a very great while. When he does, he picks a girl, seemingly at random, and gets $1000 worth of courts (the 30 minute dances) with her. During the courts, he doesn't want the girl to dance-no, he wants the girl to lay down with her head in his lap, face away from him (so not in a perv way, but more like in the way an exhausted child might zonk out on her father's lap).
Then, for the duration of the series of courts he bought, he just strokes the dancer's hair gently and says, sadly,
"Poor dead stripper."
And then he gives the girl an extra five grand (I guess he knows how goddamned creepy that shit is), and leaves again, not to return for a year or more.
...I cannot even BEGIN to fathom this man's issues.
The second wtf:
A guy came in the other night, and asked every girl there if she was pregnant. One of the girls lied and said that she was to see what would happen. He got courts with her. During the courts, all he did was pat her belly gently and say, "Hi little baby!"
Easy money, but wow. WOW. Although, the second one makes me a bit sad-he might have lost a child recently, and it quite possibly fucked his head up.
But thanks-
To the guy who asked for a dance, but wanted me to wait exactly seventeen minutes before I took him back-he wanted to watch the last half of Jeopardy!, you see. So he bought me a drink and we sat and played along (I 'won' xD). That was fun ^^
Also thanks to my Saturday regular for tipping me extra on top of what he normally tips ^^ Generosity is appreciated ^^
And to the kid who asked me, in all seriousness, if I had velcro on the outside of my shoes and on the pole, because he couldn't quite grasp how I hang upside down hands free xD You were adorable.