Friday Night!
Again with the women.
There were a good amount of women in tonight, and the women that were there as part of a couple were actually very sweet and nice-tipping, cheering, and being polite. That's cool, I can dig that.
But then there was a group of about four or five girls (I hesitate to call them women) who came with only one guy.
I chalked it up as "that's one lucky motherfucker" and moved on.
But no.
After about ten minutes, it became highly evident that he was one very, very UNlucky motherfucker to have to deal with all of them that night.
The girls did the behaviour we've all come to (sadly) expect from girls-the sneering, the whispers, the 'omfg I am soooooooooooo much hotter and would do soooooooooooo much better' declarations (as always, hastily withdrawn once called on them), attempting to 'dance' by the customers but only looking like cracked out marionettes, etc.
But then they decided it'd be a really cool idea to throw straws and other assorted garbage at one of the dancers while she was onstage. No bouncers saw this, sadly, so nothing was done.
Then, they thought it'd be a cool idea to dump their drinks all over the floor right where the dancers walk by, to see if anyone would fall. (Nobody did.)
It was only after they decided that destroying the pool table would be the appropriate way to show their ire at seeing women hotter than them that they were unceremoniously tossed out.
From the dressing room upstairs (I was seated by a window, which was cracked to let the breeze in) I could hear the girls stumbling drunkenly out to their cars, and their screams of how good they were at sucking cock.
o.O
I'm going to guess they were trying to bribe the bouncers with oral sex to let them stay.
Right. And we're the skanks? I think not.
Here's a short one:
Me=In ur barz, shakin mai azz
G1=Guy 1, middle aged gent
G2=Guy 2, Guy 1s mostly quiet friend
Me=*goes around for tips, dancedancesmilesmile*
G1=*starestare* Heeeey there, that looks like a complicated outfit!
Me=o.O (It was stockings, a thong, a garter belt, and a top.) Thanks? *dancedance*
G1=*stares more*
G2=*also staring*
G1=*holds up a $50* So, you got change for this, baby?
Me=Afraid not-I do have change for a $20, though! *smilesmile* (Side note-I'm highly paranoid and won't make change for customers over $20, on the off chance their bill is fake.)
G1=*huffs* WELL! I won't be taking YOU home tonight, then. *completely serious, wtf.*
Me=You wouldn't have a chance in hell anyway, so I'm not quite sure what you're getting all high and mighty about. *cheerful smilesmile*
G2=*laughs at G1s expense*
G1=*glareglare of doomydoomdoom*
Me=*unfazed* *customer service smile and cheery wave* Y'all enjoy your time here at [Bar]!
They left after about ten minutes. Grumbling about how nobody would go home with them. Ha.
Do y'all remember "Suck my cooooock" guy? Sure ya do.
He comes in quite often, actually, but I rarely have to see/deal with him as he's usually in the couch dance room with one girl or another.
Turns out, he's got a stocking fetish. And, lucky me, I was wearing stockings.
And he was wearing his sweatpants again.
Joy.
So he wants 2 dances from me. I sigh and agree. As I said before, he doesn't touch, he's just creepy, so okay.
So while I'm dancing, he tells me all about his stocking fetish, and begs me to let him rub my legs. Which is a huge no-no. I tell him this, he changes the conversation. He asks me once again if I have a boyfriend, I explain that I'm taken, he pouts. Then he begs me to 'fuck [him] anyway, he'll never know, please?!' I put a stop to that line of conversation rather quickly.
As I'm dancing in front of him, I guess I stretched in an odd way or something, because my leg shook a bit. Only for a second, but it seems that shaking ALSO turns this guy on .-.
Me=Really damn tired
G=Guy
Me=*stretches in the aforementioned way, leg shakes a bit, I shift to my other foot*
G=*yells* THAT WAS SO FUCKING SEXY!!!
Me=o.O
The three other girls doing dances at the time=*stare at me*
Me=*stare back, raising my palms in the universal "I Don't Fucking Know Either, Man" gesture*
G=Shaking like that is SO sexy. Did I do that? I mean, did I make you shake like that? You like me, don't you?!
Me=Nnnno. I stretched wrong, is all. *weirded out, continues dance*
G=*disappointed*
Wow.
But thanks-
To all those sweet women who came in with their men and weren't douchebags;
To the guy who told me to stop working so hard, and tipped me extra just for standing there and smiling;
And to dancer A for not being a bitch when the customer she was trying to hustle asked me, unprovoked, for dances right in front of her (a bit of a faux pas in Dancerland).