wrong place, right time
sometimes I feel like everyone else has it all figured out but me. Sometimes I feel that life is just like me treading water to stay aflot and not drown. And sometimes it scares me how much tim I spend with myself and how the majority of the time I am ok with that.
I didnt do a lot this weekend but that is ok. I went to happy hoour on friday and saturday I had to work. I dont have t5hat much money right now anyway and i dont really like spending it if i dont have it. The more time i spend in statesboro alone the more i realize how much i dont like going out to the bars. I am perfectly content to stay home on a staurday night by myself just not really doing anything. Its not that i dont like my friends i just guess i like myself now right now. I dont think i am trying to isolate myslef on purpose theres just not a lot of people i want to hang out with right now fo rwhatever reason that may be.
I think i really need some kind of adventure right now. I am so bored. I despise my classes and i am having a really hard time making myself do the work aka outside studying for these classes. I know i am wasting a wehole bunch of time by doing nothing but i just cant seem to focus on the work that needs to get done. Although i did study some last night. and i deactivated my facebook accvount b/cv i got really tired of it. I stil lhave myspace for now... i willprolly get rid of that too at some point but them again i like myspace better b/c its not so full of applications or the damn news feed. I really dont care who has added the worthless piece of pie application. anyway i have to say that life is much more enjoyable w/out facebook. I dont have as much of a reason to get on the internet b/c i dont have it and i dont get emails all oif the time. My myspace account doesn ot get that much activity and that is fine with me. its private anyway. life just seems different. i guess communication actually happens w/out facebook and i jst deal with my own stuff rather than everybody elses. I dont plan on going back.. at least not right now. Maybe when i graduated. Its not that i was addicted b/c really i didnt even check it everyday it just was a pointless waste of time. Just like all those stupid tabloid magazines and websites like perez hilton and tmz. Now, i have never really been big into those websites but i amn even less into them now. i guess i am just tired ofg watching other people and how they l ive. i dont want to live through them. I have my own life to live.
as for me and the guy "friend: no new developments really. Still pretty confused about the whole situatuon but i am trying to just not think about it.
Anyway the death of my grandpa is coming up soon.... :( Cant belieeve its almost been a year. it feels like its been longer. the not so nice part is that its on easter but then again that is when jesus was resurcted (sp?) so maybe its a sign although my grandpa was not religious. That is going to be a hard day but its not as if everyday isnt hard anyway. I miss martin too. I try not to think about it too much.
anyway i had thsi great journal entry played out in my haed but i dont think it happened... maybe tommrow or later this week...
that is all.. :)
I didnt do a lot this weekend but that is ok. I went to happy hoour on friday and saturday I had to work. I dont have t5hat much money right now anyway and i dont really like spending it if i dont have it. The more time i spend in statesboro alone the more i realize how much i dont like going out to the bars. I am perfectly content to stay home on a staurday night by myself just not really doing anything. Its not that i dont like my friends i just guess i like myself now right now. I dont think i am trying to isolate myslef on purpose theres just not a lot of people i want to hang out with right now fo rwhatever reason that may be.
I think i really need some kind of adventure right now. I am so bored. I despise my classes and i am having a really hard time making myself do the work aka outside studying for these classes. I know i am wasting a wehole bunch of time by doing nothing but i just cant seem to focus on the work that needs to get done. Although i did study some last night. and i deactivated my facebook accvount b/cv i got really tired of it. I stil lhave myspace for now... i willprolly get rid of that too at some point but them again i like myspace better b/c its not so full of applications or the damn news feed. I really dont care who has added the worthless piece of pie application. anyway i have to say that life is much more enjoyable w/out facebook. I dont have as much of a reason to get on the internet b/c i dont have it and i dont get emails all oif the time. My myspace account doesn ot get that much activity and that is fine with me. its private anyway. life just seems different. i guess communication actually happens w/out facebook and i jst deal with my own stuff rather than everybody elses. I dont plan on going back.. at least not right now. Maybe when i graduated. Its not that i was addicted b/c really i didnt even check it everyday it just was a pointless waste of time. Just like all those stupid tabloid magazines and websites like perez hilton and tmz. Now, i have never really been big into those websites but i amn even less into them now. i guess i am just tired ofg watching other people and how they l ive. i dont want to live through them. I have my own life to live.
as for me and the guy "friend: no new developments really. Still pretty confused about the whole situatuon but i am trying to just not think about it.
Anyway the death of my grandpa is coming up soon.... :( Cant belieeve its almost been a year. it feels like its been longer. the not so nice part is that its on easter but then again that is when jesus was resurcted (sp?) so maybe its a sign although my grandpa was not religious. That is going to be a hard day but its not as if everyday isnt hard anyway. I miss martin too. I try not to think about it too much.
anyway i had thsi great journal entry played out in my haed but i dont think it happened... maybe tommrow or later this week...
that is all.. :)