Diagnosis = i hate this
hola everyone.
I have much to talk about so get ready for some fun, ha ha. I think i write about kyle an dif i didnt here i go, he is oliver's cousin and he can dress well and he is a super nice guy and yeah i will just come out and say that i like him and would def. date him but the problem is that i have no time really and he has not asked me yet. its annoying cause hs says he wants to hnag out or whatever and never does anything. we play the text message game a lot. haha its fun though.
so last thursday was oliver's birthday. Heath and him wanted to go to legends. i was like ehhh not really interested but decided what the heck. one of the reasons i didnt want to go was because i wanted to look cute and since i had gotten so sunburned from the beach my back was peeling... it was gross but i sucked it up and went anyway. so josy and i went to dinner and then met kyle up there and we were waiting for oliver an dheath and who do you think pulls up. oh yeah, mark. i am thinking, "oh jeez here we go this is not going to be a good night." and especially with kyle there. i look at jody and we are just like oh fcku but in a diffenent order, ha. anyway so of ocurse we say hey or whatver he grabs my ass and i am like ughh get off me. i really have no idea what kyle though i told him later on who he was an dsome of the story but not all. anyway so it was fine for the time being because as sson as we got inside there whole little posse scattered to the wind. jody and i got free drinks which was awesome of course because we are hot. lol! let me just tell you i saw so many friekein people that i knew i could not belileve it. Eww and neil was there too. he was this guy that liked jody and when i asked him to get the hell out of our appartment he ignored me and pisssed me off anf made me thratened to call th cops. anyway so oliver and heath and some friends finaly get there and we are just hanging out drinking, talking, chilling, commenting on how hot it was inside. so as the night goes on of course the booze is flowing more and more. at one point in the evening mark comes up to me and i am not drunk like him so i friekien give him all this shit about what he did to me last semester. come to find out he had a g/f last semster and i am like whoa there pal. anyway os he keep stryingt o get me to go home with him and kiss him and i am thinking ewww like i wanted this so bad last semester and now i dont and f-him. he kept trying to grab my ass too and i kept not giving him anything. eventually he gave me the line of come over tonight and let me prove to you that i like you blah blha blah. if you dont come over we are over yadda yadda yadda whatever. i already had plans to hang out with kyle but had that in the back of my mind. so he leaves but then comes back and i am like get the hell away. kyle kept asking jody what was up with him so i guess that is a good sign and he asked me if i was ok after he left. he told me i had a nice smile and i made him laugh and smile. :) hooray. so at one point i was drunk and i really dont know what we were talking about but whatever kyle rocks. anyway so he wanted me to come home and hang out with him but i was thinking no because i really like him and i dont want anything to happen. i trust him just not me. he was "mad" as he puts it but whatever who can stay mad at me. i should have gone to hung out with him and not have left and did what i did which i cant even say because it was really really stupid but i have come to many conclusiosn from doing what i did and so no regrets what-so-ever. kyle and i are just now playing the flirting game i think. i dunno what the hell we are doing but it really doesnt matter to me. i like him but its not like my world would end if nothing happened between us.
anyway so yeah. i went to see my therapist on friday. i have notbeen doing all that well as far as feeling normal. he was concerned that ia m bi-polar which would not surprise me and i suppose it would be a better diagnosis than depression because ta leats with bi-polar i can get stuff done if i get manic. i have had been like manic 3 times last week and have wanted to go to sleep but not really been able to make myself. anyway so they gave me this shitty ass medicicne that makes me feel drunk. but it sucks cause i cant get anything done and all i did this weekend was sleep. its not like it matter because my mom is never around anymore and so yeah. whatever. i took jody home and we ate with nicka nd then hung with rob. i miss both of them a lot. they are great great friends. i just wish i talked to them more. anyway so i am super busy this week with school and voulenteering and tryingt o feel normal again. dont be surprised if i dont get an update in for the next couple weeks. love you guys!!!! xoxox
I have much to talk about so get ready for some fun, ha ha. I think i write about kyle an dif i didnt here i go, he is oliver's cousin and he can dress well and he is a super nice guy and yeah i will just come out and say that i like him and would def. date him but the problem is that i have no time really and he has not asked me yet. its annoying cause hs says he wants to hnag out or whatever and never does anything. we play the text message game a lot. haha its fun though.
so last thursday was oliver's birthday. Heath and him wanted to go to legends. i was like ehhh not really interested but decided what the heck. one of the reasons i didnt want to go was because i wanted to look cute and since i had gotten so sunburned from the beach my back was peeling... it was gross but i sucked it up and went anyway. so josy and i went to dinner and then met kyle up there and we were waiting for oliver an dheath and who do you think pulls up. oh yeah, mark. i am thinking, "oh jeez here we go this is not going to be a good night." and especially with kyle there. i look at jody and we are just like oh fcku but in a diffenent order, ha. anyway so of ocurse we say hey or whatver he grabs my ass and i am like ughh get off me. i really have no idea what kyle though i told him later on who he was an dsome of the story but not all. anyway so it was fine for the time being because as sson as we got inside there whole little posse scattered to the wind. jody and i got free drinks which was awesome of course because we are hot. lol! let me just tell you i saw so many friekein people that i knew i could not belileve it. Eww and neil was there too. he was this guy that liked jody and when i asked him to get the hell out of our appartment he ignored me and pisssed me off anf made me thratened to call th cops. anyway so oliver and heath and some friends finaly get there and we are just hanging out drinking, talking, chilling, commenting on how hot it was inside. so as the night goes on of course the booze is flowing more and more. at one point in the evening mark comes up to me and i am not drunk like him so i friekien give him all this shit about what he did to me last semester. come to find out he had a g/f last semster and i am like whoa there pal. anyway os he keep stryingt o get me to go home with him and kiss him and i am thinking ewww like i wanted this so bad last semester and now i dont and f-him. he kept trying to grab my ass too and i kept not giving him anything. eventually he gave me the line of come over tonight and let me prove to you that i like you blah blha blah. if you dont come over we are over yadda yadda yadda whatever. i already had plans to hang out with kyle but had that in the back of my mind. so he leaves but then comes back and i am like get the hell away. kyle kept asking jody what was up with him so i guess that is a good sign and he asked me if i was ok after he left. he told me i had a nice smile and i made him laugh and smile. :) hooray. so at one point i was drunk and i really dont know what we were talking about but whatever kyle rocks. anyway so he wanted me to come home and hang out with him but i was thinking no because i really like him and i dont want anything to happen. i trust him just not me. he was "mad" as he puts it but whatever who can stay mad at me. i should have gone to hung out with him and not have left and did what i did which i cant even say because it was really really stupid but i have come to many conclusiosn from doing what i did and so no regrets what-so-ever. kyle and i are just now playing the flirting game i think. i dunno what the hell we are doing but it really doesnt matter to me. i like him but its not like my world would end if nothing happened between us.
anyway so yeah. i went to see my therapist on friday. i have notbeen doing all that well as far as feeling normal. he was concerned that ia m bi-polar which would not surprise me and i suppose it would be a better diagnosis than depression because ta leats with bi-polar i can get stuff done if i get manic. i have had been like manic 3 times last week and have wanted to go to sleep but not really been able to make myself. anyway so they gave me this shitty ass medicicne that makes me feel drunk. but it sucks cause i cant get anything done and all i did this weekend was sleep. its not like it matter because my mom is never around anymore and so yeah. whatever. i took jody home and we ate with nicka nd then hung with rob. i miss both of them a lot. they are great great friends. i just wish i talked to them more. anyway so i am super busy this week with school and voulenteering and tryingt o feel normal again. dont be surprised if i dont get an update in for the next couple weeks. love you guys!!!! xoxox