busy!
well well well where to begin?? So much has been going on or maybe i just think it has because i have been super busy and i still don't have a job! you would think 13 hours of academic classes two of which only meet once a week would not cause me to be as busy as i am but no sadly it is just the opposite!
So like a week ago or something, it was after jody;s birthday thats all i remember, i went up to subway on saturday because i wanted a veggie sub and i figured i would get her something to to be nice and make sure she ate since the night before was her 21st birthday and all, oh but it was fun. anyway so i am getting my sub made and the guy just starts talking to me. my honest first impression was umm yeah ok you are bored and have nothing to do never really thinking, hey maybe he will ask for my number or maybe i just didnt want him too. Who knows! anyway he said his name was eric and me being a dummy like i am gave him my number. i just feel bad when guys ask for it, what am i supposed to say, "umm no sorry, i dont think so" and i never want to give them the worng number thats just mean besides you never know what could happen. So we ended up going to some random lake here in statesboro, theres a lot of random ponds and such if you didnt know. its kinda weird. theres like 4 on campus and then like another 23 off! we have lots of knats and it blows. anyway we fed the ducks and basically just spent our time there talking and such. he stole me a flower but he was like giving me compliments which is sweet but i just met this dude and i dont know that i am comfortable with the whole " you;re so pretty la la la" I felt like saying thank you would make it seem like i liked him or something or that i wanted to do him. ok not the la la la but you get the point. hes a really nice guy dont get me wrong or anything but i dunno i just dont think anything is there now that i look back on it. we did end up kissing and at the time it felt like what should be happening so i just went with it but that doesnt mean by any stretch of the imigination that i want to have sex with you or am going to have sex with you. gosh boys are so dumb sometimes. he was trying to figure me out as well which i hate! i mean you just met me , dont try right away to act like you know me or what is good for me. he kept telling me to have courage and blah blah blah cause i didnt want to kiss him anymore. he thinks he had to do with that thing that happened that i wont say because some people dont know and i dont want them to know but it didnt. i just didnt like him anymore. Then he tried to tell me that i didnt need medicine for my depression and that just pissed me off hardcore! i mean i think i k now what i was like before mediciation and let me tell you there is no way that he would ever talk to me if i was like that. I was severly stuck in a cycle and no amount of theraphy was helping me out of it. Therefore dont try to tell me mediciation is useless. So needless to say thats over and i am glad. Hes a nice guy but just ahead of where i am in my life. I dont want a boyfriend. I dont need a boyfriend or a relationship for that matter not that i ever did but whatever. Right now i feel awesome cause i can be so non chalant about everything when it comes to that. i dont have to feel pressure to act or certain way or do certain things or anything you do in relationships. i dont even feel like i have to care about people even though i do very much and i will never lose that ever. I was just wayyyy over the top with the compassion which was a factor for my depression but we wont talk about that- its depressing, ha ha ha!
so my life has been school, meetings, studying, parties here and there and lots of friends and intramurals and just having awesome days all that time. i finaly got to talk to rodger so i am thrilled about hanging out with him this weekend and it;s our first football game!! woo woo! yeah we have waited long enough. we are gonna go tailgating with caleb and all those other people which means beer beer football and more beer. ha ha ha just kidding. i cant drink THAT much booze! Anyway it is thursday tonight... you all know what that means, ok well maybe not. it means free wells and retriever's and meeting lots of new people! hoo-ray! oh and ccf too. I love ccf and ohh the beach retreat is next weekend and its gonna be awesome i cannot wait!!! :) Oh yeah and by the way, I am so over you know who!!!Well almost 100% i at about 85% as of right now which is awesome for me and all my friends too cause now i will shut up about it even more!!! ha ha ha! anyway i am out... peace
So like a week ago or something, it was after jody;s birthday thats all i remember, i went up to subway on saturday because i wanted a veggie sub and i figured i would get her something to to be nice and make sure she ate since the night before was her 21st birthday and all, oh but it was fun. anyway so i am getting my sub made and the guy just starts talking to me. my honest first impression was umm yeah ok you are bored and have nothing to do never really thinking, hey maybe he will ask for my number or maybe i just didnt want him too. Who knows! anyway he said his name was eric and me being a dummy like i am gave him my number. i just feel bad when guys ask for it, what am i supposed to say, "umm no sorry, i dont think so" and i never want to give them the worng number thats just mean besides you never know what could happen. So we ended up going to some random lake here in statesboro, theres a lot of random ponds and such if you didnt know. its kinda weird. theres like 4 on campus and then like another 23 off! we have lots of knats and it blows. anyway we fed the ducks and basically just spent our time there talking and such. he stole me a flower but he was like giving me compliments which is sweet but i just met this dude and i dont know that i am comfortable with the whole " you;re so pretty la la la" I felt like saying thank you would make it seem like i liked him or something or that i wanted to do him. ok not the la la la but you get the point. hes a really nice guy dont get me wrong or anything but i dunno i just dont think anything is there now that i look back on it. we did end up kissing and at the time it felt like what should be happening so i just went with it but that doesnt mean by any stretch of the imigination that i want to have sex with you or am going to have sex with you. gosh boys are so dumb sometimes. he was trying to figure me out as well which i hate! i mean you just met me , dont try right away to act like you know me or what is good for me. he kept telling me to have courage and blah blah blah cause i didnt want to kiss him anymore. he thinks he had to do with that thing that happened that i wont say because some people dont know and i dont want them to know but it didnt. i just didnt like him anymore. Then he tried to tell me that i didnt need medicine for my depression and that just pissed me off hardcore! i mean i think i k now what i was like before mediciation and let me tell you there is no way that he would ever talk to me if i was like that. I was severly stuck in a cycle and no amount of theraphy was helping me out of it. Therefore dont try to tell me mediciation is useless. So needless to say thats over and i am glad. Hes a nice guy but just ahead of where i am in my life. I dont want a boyfriend. I dont need a boyfriend or a relationship for that matter not that i ever did but whatever. Right now i feel awesome cause i can be so non chalant about everything when it comes to that. i dont have to feel pressure to act or certain way or do certain things or anything you do in relationships. i dont even feel like i have to care about people even though i do very much and i will never lose that ever. I was just wayyyy over the top with the compassion which was a factor for my depression but we wont talk about that- its depressing, ha ha ha!
so my life has been school, meetings, studying, parties here and there and lots of friends and intramurals and just having awesome days all that time. i finaly got to talk to rodger so i am thrilled about hanging out with him this weekend and it;s our first football game!! woo woo! yeah we have waited long enough. we are gonna go tailgating with caleb and all those other people which means beer beer football and more beer. ha ha ha just kidding. i cant drink THAT much booze! Anyway it is thursday tonight... you all know what that means, ok well maybe not. it means free wells and retriever's and meeting lots of new people! hoo-ray! oh and ccf too. I love ccf and ohh the beach retreat is next weekend and its gonna be awesome i cannot wait!!! :) Oh yeah and by the way, I am so over you know who!!!Well almost 100% i at about 85% as of right now which is awesome for me and all my friends too cause now i will shut up about it even more!!! ha ha ha! anyway i am out... peace