Christmas, Yo
Christmas was pretty awesome this year. Even though our tree is only prevented from falling over due to a rainbow-colored jump rope tying it to the fireplace. The thing is still leaning precariously on one side. Adds an element of suspense to the whole-unwrapping-the-gifts thing. The other problem with this year: I woke up way later than usual. I mean, 6 o' clock? Come on, I must be losing my touch. Whatever happened to 3:30? But I was still the first up, so everything's roses. I got some pretty awesome gifts this year, to briefly summarize; my dad got me a personal GPS as well as several other gifts, mom got me Arrested Development Season 2, Michelle got me the 40 Licks CD, Kathleen got me Star Wars gag stuff, Alexandra got me a Starbucks gift card, and Ashton brought me snow the night before. So everyone is awesome. Yes, everyone. Except the Jews.
Anyway, as the recent tradition goes, here are some of the better family quotes I wrote down during the gift unwrapping:
M: Oh, good, he's alive. But then you have to ask yourself, what the hell is he still doing asleep when it's already 6:30?!
M: Go wake up Mom and Dad... (to Chris) I made Michelle do it.
Michelle: He's lying down and he says he's going to sleep.
M: Ask him if he's Jewish.
M: Oh, she's up!
Michelle: Merry Christmas!
M: Don't tell her that...
M: It's time to wake up the Christmas tadpoles.
Mom: Is everyone up?
M: Everyone but you, as per every year.
M: (hands Mom coffee) This'll keep you up through Hannukah.
C: Can you read this?
M: It says Giorgio, Gloria, and Mario, but it looks like it says Gippy.
Mom: (referring to our empty stockings) Those are for later.
C: She forgot.
M: Whatever we forget to unwrap, they'll put in there.
C: There's nothing here for me.
Dad: I didn't know you'd be here.
M: Dominoooes....(Chris unwraps a book entitled "Luscious Lips")... that's not for us.
M: So, basically... you got her the business section.
Dad: ...yeah, cool, huh? Bet you never got anyone that.
M: Well, once I wrapped someone's gift in it.
Michelle: Man, Grandma used a lot of tape!
C: (to Mom) This is for you and Dad.
M: Cheapass.
C: There's a goose in there!
M: Don't just go grabbing people's presents! That's what mom did and now she's crying in the bathroom!
C: We need to get a spray bottle.
Dad: I'm sorry I have so many presents.
M: And they're all chocolate.
C: Okay, now you can stop hiding the rest of the presents.
M: That's what I hope every year. It'll be January and I'll still be waiting.
M: Now you're learning how I feel every year.
C: Fat?
C: Amy Byer... I need beer.
M: I saw a little blonde boy so I figured you were watching A Christmas Story. Then I saw a big, black man so I knew it couldn't be true.
M: I love getting Christmas stuff for Christmas because it's like "oh, I can't use this".
C: (reading a book called 1000 Top Movies on DVD) Wow, this has a lot of movies in it.
M: It has a thousand, jackass.
Anyway, as the recent tradition goes, here are some of the better family quotes I wrote down during the gift unwrapping:
M: Oh, good, he's alive. But then you have to ask yourself, what the hell is he still doing asleep when it's already 6:30?!
M: Go wake up Mom and Dad... (to Chris) I made Michelle do it.
Michelle: He's lying down and he says he's going to sleep.
M: Ask him if he's Jewish.
M: Oh, she's up!
Michelle: Merry Christmas!
M: Don't tell her that...
M: It's time to wake up the Christmas tadpoles.
Mom: Is everyone up?
M: Everyone but you, as per every year.
M: (hands Mom coffee) This'll keep you up through Hannukah.
C: Can you read this?
M: It says Giorgio, Gloria, and Mario, but it looks like it says Gippy.
Mom: (referring to our empty stockings) Those are for later.
C: She forgot.
M: Whatever we forget to unwrap, they'll put in there.
C: There's nothing here for me.
Dad: I didn't know you'd be here.
M: Dominoooes....(Chris unwraps a book entitled "Luscious Lips")... that's not for us.
M: So, basically... you got her the business section.
Dad: ...yeah, cool, huh? Bet you never got anyone that.
M: Well, once I wrapped someone's gift in it.
Michelle: Man, Grandma used a lot of tape!
C: (to Mom) This is for you and Dad.
M: Cheapass.
C: There's a goose in there!
M: Don't just go grabbing people's presents! That's what mom did and now she's crying in the bathroom!
C: We need to get a spray bottle.
Dad: I'm sorry I have so many presents.
M: And they're all chocolate.
C: Okay, now you can stop hiding the rest of the presents.
M: That's what I hope every year. It'll be January and I'll still be waiting.
M: Now you're learning how I feel every year.
C: Fat?
C: Amy Byer... I need beer.
M: I saw a little blonde boy so I figured you were watching A Christmas Story. Then I saw a big, black man so I knew it couldn't be true.
M: I love getting Christmas stuff for Christmas because it's like "oh, I can't use this".
C: (reading a book called 1000 Top Movies on DVD) Wow, this has a lot of movies in it.
M: It has a thousand, jackass.