edYOUcation
A lot of posts lately on exams, uni apps, CVs...
For what it's worth, some thoughts:
The most important thing to ask yourself NOW is why you want to go to uni and why you want to study your course.
I seriously considered dropping out (nearly did - even got all the forms/information and stuff in gear) over this last semester. In the end, it was my friends here and going to China in the summer to 'think things through' that pursuaded me to stay but it's still not clear cut. In short, I feel I'm doing the wrong degree and, as amazing as Edinburgh (the city) is, the uni may not neccesarily have been the best for me. If I'd had an open mind and thought things through - maybe if I hadn't gone to GCH - I'd probably be in art college now, maybe on an illustration course, or be doing Chinese (however unlikely that sounds) or maybe social anthropology.
Remember remember remember:
ACADEMIA IS NOTHING ON ITS OWN.
(unless you're only into showing off the size of your academic penis)
(I guess it's okay if you're really, really obsessed)
So you want to have Dr. pefore your name, or maybe be able to say you went to Oxbridge - ohyes, you'll walk into some jobs that way, but if you're anything like me, if you have a passion that is to do with life and people and reality, at some point in those three/four years, YOU WILL GO MAD.
I want to come into Greycoats sometime and do a talk about HE - oldgreys have done that, right? I want to stress how important it is to do your own thing. Live life. I realise now that so much of that school was about snob value - it was drilled into us. So I was one of a few who had 'special treatment' from the english and history depts. because they thought I was 'oxbridge material' - fuck that - of course it makes the school look better - but don't let that sway your decision. I'm very very glad I went off the rails when I did as I seriously think that if I did get into oxbridge I would either be dead or in the Himalayas by now. If your subject's all you want to do: fine. But even Elizabeth says this - there's very very little else. So yeah, people get drunk between piles of coursework, go to toga parties and fall into the river but there's no development... Not a free-thinker's place, I'm sure of it. Stephen Fry is quite extreme, a genius and went there in quite a different time (besides which I think Cambridge is *slightly* more relaxed). Honestly, the oxbrigians I've met here are... well, I think a lot of Edinburgh students are snobby and out of touch with reality so it's probably best if I don't comment.
GCH hammered it into me that uni is the only way - and not just any uni - no, the TRADITIONAL ones. NONONONONO! GCH glorified academia as if there wasn't anything else to life. Oh there is so much...
I've just read so many posts lately that remind me so much of my own from this time a couple of years back... hey, I'm not saying uni is a bad thing, but in terms of choices and courses and where you're heading... there're so many ways to live... Trytrytry to think outside the box - and I'm saying this because I from what I know of all of you *points to LJ list* if there's one thing you're all capable of is thinking originally and being individual. Don't let institutions fool you into thinking there're only a certain number of roots you can go down.
And I'm not saying all teachers in Greycoats... Ms Thomas is very good - I didn't fully appreciate her advice before and obviously she can't go too far against the grain but I think she believes pretty much what I've said here (though maybe not as extreme)...
We're all on our own now - but it can be a wonderful, wonderful thing. I realised over the last two years that I don't want to be handed from institution to institution. I have to find my own path...
For what it's worth, I'd be happy to chat with any of you if you've got any uni/exam concerns or just want to talk things through. I'm back in London for nearly a couple of weeks from the 3rd of April. I dunno if it'll be helpful or not (I suppose after this post many teachers and parents would regard me as a bad influence).
Just... derailing, I think, comes as a result of not doing what's right for YOU. That's why I derailed - I wasn't learning to be myself and I was in love with a bad influence. It hurts me to see similar glimpses of it amongst some of the posts on here lately... I wish there's something I can do.. anything..
ANYthing is possible,
the point isn't so much where you come from as
where are you going?
Love,
Sonya