Fic: Jared Padalecki’s Journal, Part 23 [J2]
For all parts, click on the 'fic:jpj' tag. For rating, pairings and notes, see part 1.
Jared drove toward the Ackles’ country estate as quickly as he could, but it was half raining, half sleeting, in that annoying way that the weather guys on TV liked to call ‘wintry mix’, and he really didn’t want to die in a car crash an hour before he got to see Jensen again. The drive seemed to take forever, but eventually they made safely it to the Ackles’, and handed over their coats to a uniformed coat check guy.
Jared headed into the ‘ballroom’ (really, there was no other word for it; the house was ridiculously huge and ornate, like something out of the soaps). He blessed the height that let him scan the room for any sight of Jensen. When he saw him, talking to a middle-aged couple Jared didn’t know, he made a beeline for the other man. Jensen turned at the hand on his shoulder. “Jared. I didn’t know you were coming,” Jensen said, flatly. He looked tired, faint circles underneath his green eyes.
“Your mom invited my parents, I think,” Jared said. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah, OK,” Jensen said. He excused himself to the couple, and they walked to the side of the room.
“How can I help you?”
Jared thought of and dismissed a couple of ways to begin. He decided to be blunt. “I’m sorry about what I said at my birthday. Misha had told me… Well, it doesn’t matter, but anyway, I thought something about you that wasn’t true. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt.”
“Oh,” Jensen said, his attitude defrosting slightly. “Well, thank you for apologizing, but it really isn’t necessary. It’s all water under the bridge now.”
“Great,” Jared said, feeling less happy than his words should suggest. “I heard about what’s happened recently. Are you doing all right?”
“I’ll be fine,” Jensen said.
What kind of answer was that? Jared plunged forward. “Listen, would you like to go…”
They were interrupted by Danneel, who was kitted out in a gold top with a plunging neckline and a short black skirt. She came up to Jensen, tugging on his arm. “Your dad wants to make the announcement,” she said.
“Oh, OK,” Jensen said.
“*Now*, Jensen,” Danneel said, steel in her voice.
“Right,” Jensen said. “I’ll talk to you later, Jared?…” He trailed off as he was dragged off by Danneel.
Jensen and Danneel joined Jensen’s parents at the front of the room. His father began speaking. “We have an announcement to make, everyone. Our wonderful son, Jensen, who has done so well here in Dallas, has accepted a position in New York City, and he will be moving there to start his job in January, joined by his executive assistant Danneel.” The woman in question smiled triumphantly from Jensen’s side. His father continued. “We are so very proud of Jensen, although we will miss him greatly.” Oohs and murmurs traveled through the room in response to Mr. Ackles’ announcement.
“No!” Jared hadn’t meant to shout it, but judging from the reactions of the people standing near him, he had. Shit. In for a penny, in for a pound. “Uh, I mean, it’s just too bad,” he continued, projecting his voice. More of the guests turned toward him; most had confused looks on their faces. “Jensen’s a valuable member of the local business community, a real asset.” People began to nod. Jensen looked at Jared, his face expressionless.
“I mean, he’s helped me out, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. He’s a wonderful person. *The* wonderful person, really.” At this, Jared thought he caught a faint smile on Jensen’s face, but he might have imagined it.
“Let’s all raise our glasses to Jensen, then, a fabulous guy who we will all really miss, very much.” The crowd followed along, clinking glasses together and clapping. Jensen smiled and thanked everyone, but his eyes kept returning to Jared.
As soon as he could, Jared escaped to the back of the room with a cocktail, barricading himself in the maze of chairs and occasional tables. He just wanted to go home, but he knew a premature exit would cause more tongues to wag, and he’d already brought the Ackles family enough gossip for the day. Hopefully soon things would slow down, and he could grab his parents (slow-dancing over in the other corner, Jared noted with wry amusement) and get out of this place.
~
“Jared,” Jensen said softly, from somewhere behind him. Jared lifted his head from his arms to see Jensen, his holiday tie askew, seating himself in the next chair over.
“Hey.”
“Jared, I…”
“Don’t worry, I’m done making a fool of myself in front of all your family and friends,” Jared said.
“It’s not that. I, uh. I’m glad you came,” Jensen said.
“You are?”
“I am. But.”
Jared chuckled. “There’s always a but, isn’t there?”
“Guess so.” Jensen seemed to hesitate.
“Go ahead, say whatever it is you want to say,” Jared said. He was too tired to dissemble (it had been the word on his Word-A-Day calendar earlier in the week, and now it was eerily appropriate).
“I’m glad you came, Jared, I really am,” Jensen said. “But I still have to go. I have a job in New York. I’ve packed up my apartment, I’ve given notice. It’s kind of a done deal now, I can’t undo it.”
Jared repressed a very un-manly urge to sob. “Yeah, I get that. It’s OK.” It wasn’t, but what else was he supposed to say? No, stay here in Dallas. Forget your big new important job in New York City so you can maybe date some flaky quasi-journalist who can’t even do his laundry half the time, and who embarrasses you on a regular basis?
They were interrupted by Jensen’s mother, who called for Jensen. “Sweetie, the Wallaces are leaving, can you come say goodbye?”
Jensen stood. “I better…” He gestured vaguely toward his mother on the other side of the room.
“Yeah,” Jared said.
“I’ll see you later, then,” Jensen said, and walked away.
“Yeah,” Jared said to himself softly. He was never going to see Jensen Ackles again.
Jared drove toward the Ackles’ country estate as quickly as he could, but it was half raining, half sleeting, in that annoying way that the weather guys on TV liked to call ‘wintry mix’, and he really didn’t want to die in a car crash an hour before he got to see Jensen again. The drive seemed to take forever, but eventually they made safely it to the Ackles’, and handed over their coats to a uniformed coat check guy.
Jared headed into the ‘ballroom’ (really, there was no other word for it; the house was ridiculously huge and ornate, like something out of the soaps). He blessed the height that let him scan the room for any sight of Jensen. When he saw him, talking to a middle-aged couple Jared didn’t know, he made a beeline for the other man. Jensen turned at the hand on his shoulder. “Jared. I didn’t know you were coming,” Jensen said, flatly. He looked tired, faint circles underneath his green eyes.
“Your mom invited my parents, I think,” Jared said. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah, OK,” Jensen said. He excused himself to the couple, and they walked to the side of the room.
“How can I help you?”
Jared thought of and dismissed a couple of ways to begin. He decided to be blunt. “I’m sorry about what I said at my birthday. Misha had told me… Well, it doesn’t matter, but anyway, I thought something about you that wasn’t true. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt.”
“Oh,” Jensen said, his attitude defrosting slightly. “Well, thank you for apologizing, but it really isn’t necessary. It’s all water under the bridge now.”
“Great,” Jared said, feeling less happy than his words should suggest. “I heard about what’s happened recently. Are you doing all right?”
“I’ll be fine,” Jensen said.
What kind of answer was that? Jared plunged forward. “Listen, would you like to go…”
They were interrupted by Danneel, who was kitted out in a gold top with a plunging neckline and a short black skirt. She came up to Jensen, tugging on his arm. “Your dad wants to make the announcement,” she said.
“Oh, OK,” Jensen said.
“*Now*, Jensen,” Danneel said, steel in her voice.
“Right,” Jensen said. “I’ll talk to you later, Jared?…” He trailed off as he was dragged off by Danneel.
Jensen and Danneel joined Jensen’s parents at the front of the room. His father began speaking. “We have an announcement to make, everyone. Our wonderful son, Jensen, who has done so well here in Dallas, has accepted a position in New York City, and he will be moving there to start his job in January, joined by his executive assistant Danneel.” The woman in question smiled triumphantly from Jensen’s side. His father continued. “We are so very proud of Jensen, although we will miss him greatly.” Oohs and murmurs traveled through the room in response to Mr. Ackles’ announcement.
“No!” Jared hadn’t meant to shout it, but judging from the reactions of the people standing near him, he had. Shit. In for a penny, in for a pound. “Uh, I mean, it’s just too bad,” he continued, projecting his voice. More of the guests turned toward him; most had confused looks on their faces. “Jensen’s a valuable member of the local business community, a real asset.” People began to nod. Jensen looked at Jared, his face expressionless.
“I mean, he’s helped me out, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. He’s a wonderful person. *The* wonderful person, really.” At this, Jared thought he caught a faint smile on Jensen’s face, but he might have imagined it.
“Let’s all raise our glasses to Jensen, then, a fabulous guy who we will all really miss, very much.” The crowd followed along, clinking glasses together and clapping. Jensen smiled and thanked everyone, but his eyes kept returning to Jared.
As soon as he could, Jared escaped to the back of the room with a cocktail, barricading himself in the maze of chairs and occasional tables. He just wanted to go home, but he knew a premature exit would cause more tongues to wag, and he’d already brought the Ackles family enough gossip for the day. Hopefully soon things would slow down, and he could grab his parents (slow-dancing over in the other corner, Jared noted with wry amusement) and get out of this place.
~
“Jared,” Jensen said softly, from somewhere behind him. Jared lifted his head from his arms to see Jensen, his holiday tie askew, seating himself in the next chair over.
“Hey.”
“Jared, I…”
“Don’t worry, I’m done making a fool of myself in front of all your family and friends,” Jared said.
“It’s not that. I, uh. I’m glad you came,” Jensen said.
“You are?”
“I am. But.”
Jared chuckled. “There’s always a but, isn’t there?”
“Guess so.” Jensen seemed to hesitate.
“Go ahead, say whatever it is you want to say,” Jared said. He was too tired to dissemble (it had been the word on his Word-A-Day calendar earlier in the week, and now it was eerily appropriate).
“I’m glad you came, Jared, I really am,” Jensen said. “But I still have to go. I have a job in New York. I’ve packed up my apartment, I’ve given notice. It’s kind of a done deal now, I can’t undo it.”
Jared repressed a very un-manly urge to sob. “Yeah, I get that. It’s OK.” It wasn’t, but what else was he supposed to say? No, stay here in Dallas. Forget your big new important job in New York City so you can maybe date some flaky quasi-journalist who can’t even do his laundry half the time, and who embarrasses you on a regular basis?
They were interrupted by Jensen’s mother, who called for Jensen. “Sweetie, the Wallaces are leaving, can you come say goodbye?”
Jensen stood. “I better…” He gestured vaguely toward his mother on the other side of the room.
“Yeah,” Jared said.
“I’ll see you later, then,” Jensen said, and walked away.
“Yeah,” Jared said to himself softly. He was never going to see Jensen Ackles again.