My brain is full
There is so much going on inside my head at any given point in time that it gets a little scary. Even now, it is taking such an effort to sort through the various "to-do" lists (work v. home, subsets within those like bedroom, phone calls, letters, research, eat) just to find the thoughts that are hiding behind them in order to write anything in here.
Last night I realized, I don't like falling asleep. I don't know why. I get anxious and antsy when I'm lying there all alone in the dark. I don't know when or why that started, but it's a familiar sensation now. So, it must have started awhile ago.
There is a child crying in the background of my life right now. And by that I mean there is a real live child in another room crying. Nothing existential or profound. But it does get annoying, even if part of me feels bad and wants to go play with the baby.
Sometimes I think if I can just write down the randomness that is going through my head I will be able to see it all, reorganize it into pretty spreadsheets/files and then put it back in like a mental database. I wish it worked that way. It would be really nice to be able to just turn off some of the thoughts that are floating around like closing out of a computer window. For now, I think I'll just go back to trying to find little mental brain corners to stuff them in when I need to ignore them for a bit.
I could probably sit here and just type randomness (to me, maybe you find it interesting or insightful, which might also seem weird to me) all day, if I could. Unfortunately, I also have to spend time working to earn money to go do things with people. It's a pain.
Last night I realized, I don't like falling asleep. I don't know why. I get anxious and antsy when I'm lying there all alone in the dark. I don't know when or why that started, but it's a familiar sensation now. So, it must have started awhile ago.
There is a child crying in the background of my life right now. And by that I mean there is a real live child in another room crying. Nothing existential or profound. But it does get annoying, even if part of me feels bad and wants to go play with the baby.
Sometimes I think if I can just write down the randomness that is going through my head I will be able to see it all, reorganize it into pretty spreadsheets/files and then put it back in like a mental database. I wish it worked that way. It would be really nice to be able to just turn off some of the thoughts that are floating around like closing out of a computer window. For now, I think I'll just go back to trying to find little mental brain corners to stuff them in when I need to ignore them for a bit.
I could probably sit here and just type randomness (to me, maybe you find it interesting or insightful, which might also seem weird to me) all day, if I could. Unfortunately, I also have to spend time working to earn money to go do things with people. It's a pain.