Seriously... does life really have to be this hard?

[bonobaby]

I know I haven't used this in a long time, but I am glad that I never closed it because the more that I work with my family, the more that I find I am in need of somewhere to vent and to be honest, you can't do that on facebook, facebook is just a holding bay for mental freak outs that people chuck when you don't get your own way.

You also can't go in depth in how you are feeling and totally get out the stress that you are carrying inside, which is a lot at the moment.

Like, forcing someone in to apologising for something that was not entirely their fault.
Like a cable being misplaced.
Like that cables loss then turning into treating the daughter like she intentionally lost the cable.
Like blaming the adult daughter for not giving it back 12 months ago when she got back off of her honeymoon despite the fact she needed to get the films off.
Like said battle over a fucking cable then leading to the parents telling the daughter that she is a selfish, unappreciative, disrespectful bitch and if she didn't bow down and pretty much kiss ass, that she'd lose her job at the family business that has NOTHING to do with the lost cable.

Yes, I yelled at them.

• This was after they decided that BOTH of them getting pissed off at me about the missing cable was a good idea, because people REALLY LOVE to be cornered.

Yes, I got frustrated over the fact they were treating me like a criminal over a cable that had fallen somewhere I couldn't get to without the help of my husband.

• I love it when people try and accuse me of 'losing' things so I don't have to give them back.  Why would I want a cable that wouldn't fit ANYTHING of mine, or a cable without the camera?

Yes, I was pissed off they made it seem like I hadn't tried to give the camera back, despite trying to give it to them six months ago when they came to dinner.

• This is rather self explanatory, but for further clarification.  I TRIED TO GIVE YOU YOUR FUCKING CAMERA BACK SIX MONTHS AGO WHEN YOU CAME TO DINNER AT MY PLACE.

Yes, I was fucking frustrated that they acted like I hadn't tried to find the damn fucking shitting cunting cable when I had turned my fucking house upside down to find it.

• I have cables all over the floor from old, dead, lost and new things that don't currently need your cable.  Aunty Marion still has my Tom Tom USB cable, I didn't go spastic at her and accuse her of keeping it for the hell of it.  Logic told me that the cable was with the other cables, when it wasn't... I had to tear other things upside down to find it.

I am also MORE than pissed off about the fact that they think an argument between us about a private, family matter makes me a horrible bitch of an employee and that it stands to threaten to fire me over it all.

• What happens at home, about a HOME appliance, is a HOME matter and in no way dictates how I perform in the shop or as a staff member, just as how I perform as an employee should reflect what kind of daughter I am to you, though really... the fact that I don't take a full pay for the duties that I do shows I am a good daughter, trying to help my parents out.

Or that I deserve a text message from my father telling me that they will never lend me anything again and that I am walking on thin ice.

• Is that necessary?  Honestly father, all you did was cause further bad blood by threatening my job again over a matter that had nothing to do with the shop where YOU DON'T WORK.  You are a silent partner.  That means... stay silent.

Oh, or being told that I am a horrible, unappreciative daughter that doesn't give a shit about my family.

• If I didn't give a shit about my family, I wouldn't work for what I do.  You claim to pay me well mother, but that is without sick pay or holidays.  You pay me as a casual but give me the duties of an assistant manager, I do orders, I deal with customer complaints, I do stock take, I help hire and fire staff. My advice and input is offered and considered when it comes to the day to day workings of the store, I do clerical duties and the banking... yet, you have me marked as a casual employee.  If i was at any other store, with the duties I do, I would be earning $35 - 45K a year.  I don't.  I earn $30K a year.  I don't claim all the loading and overtime that I am entitled too... I NEVER get holidays except the 3 weeks I took off to get married and go on my honeymoon and I wasn't paid for that.  If I was a true casual employee, I could call you an hour before a shift and tell you I wasn't coming in.  But I do nothing for my family?

• Oh, I also try and help with sister as much as I can because I know that she gets to be rather difficult to deal with a lot of the time and like a good daughter I try and do the right thing.

• I also spend my hard earned pay to take my mother out when she is feeling down and have run around like a blue arsed fly doing things for this family and my sister, not to mention the shop... on my days off... which I don't ask to be paid for.  But I do nothing.

OR that I have no respect for my parents.

• If you can't talk to me with respect, why should I return the same?  Just because one planted the seed and the other pushed me out their vagina does not win you respect point.  Oh, yeah, I mean that's great, thanks for bringing me into the world, i appreciate it but if you are going to call me names each time we have a disagreement, like, cunt, bitch, unappreciative, fucking (insert derogatory noun here), slut or any other nasty ass shit you can think of, don't expect me to come back at you with boundless respect.  TBH, that is when I will tell you kiss my arse and fuck off and die.

Nor does telling me that my DEAD Grandfather would be disappointed in me win you ANY points in the parent of the year stakes.

• Trying to SHAME or guilt me into apologising for some argument that you pushed way the fuck out of hand by threatening to fire me if I didn't find your lost cable by a certain deadline would not disappoint my grandfather and I am sure that he would prefer that I stand up for myself than bend over and take it up the ass.

I WILL apologise for yelling at you... yes, but if an apology is given I sure as shit expect one in return for the bullshit you threw at me over this damn cable.  Likening me to a shit employee and a criminal because I am not God or some other omnipotent being that can see the whereabouts of each and every other missing thing the moment you want it, really does deserve an apology, as do the accusations that I don't love you and that I am a bad daughter.

It was a cable.
I told you if I didn't find it, I would REPLACE it, so I can't be that evil a person now can I.

Then continuing the negative shit for three days?  Seriously guys? Things like that is what I expect from my ten year old, not my fifty-odd year old parents. Time to grow up I think.

Oh, by the way, yes, I did find the cable. It had fallen behind something.

RANT END.