Love the Sinner; Hate the Sin
To the caller on Michelangelo Signorile’s show, who talked about how she does not hate gay people:
You don’t like the word “hate” used to describe what you do. That word makes you feel defensive. I understand.
So let’s not talk about hate. Let’s talk about love.
“Love the sinner; hate the sin.” It is a phrase that rolls easily off the tongue. But what does it mean to “love” someone? Is it enough to say “I love you”? Is it enough to say “God loves you”? You know that it’s not.
You can’t truly love someone you don’t understand. Do you know what it’s like to be gay? Where do you get your knowledge about gay people and what they struggle with? Do you ask white people what it’s like to be black? Do you ask a Jewish person what it’s like to be a Buddhist? Then why is your understanding of lgbt people based on what some straight person has told you? (If you say you have gay friends, I say you are no friend to them. If you say you have “ex-gay” friends, believe me - you do not!)
Why is it OK for you to point out someone else’s sins, based on a simplistic reading of a complex holy book? Remember those African Americans and Jews I mentioned earlier? That same book was used to justify all kinds of horrors against these people - in the name of LOVE. And these simplistic interpretations continue to give license to those who bully, torment, torture, and kill lgbt people. The sins you should be worrying about are your own, because you are complicit.
Why do you fundamentalist Christians shelter yourselves among your own kind, fearful of going out into the world and spending time with people who are different? With outcasts? Why do your lives emulate those of the Pharisees, whom Jesus condemned?
If you really want to love lgbt people, here is a suggestion: find your nearest PFLAG chapter www.pflag.org and attend a meeting. Be quiet. Listen. Learn. Find out what gay people are really like, and how you can really help them. And when you truly understand, you will know why the phrase “Love the sinner; hate the sin” grates on the ears of every lgbt person you’ve ever recited it to.
You don’t like the word “hate” used to describe what you do. That word makes you feel defensive. I understand.
So let’s not talk about hate. Let’s talk about love.
“Love the sinner; hate the sin.” It is a phrase that rolls easily off the tongue. But what does it mean to “love” someone? Is it enough to say “I love you”? Is it enough to say “God loves you”? You know that it’s not.
You can’t truly love someone you don’t understand. Do you know what it’s like to be gay? Where do you get your knowledge about gay people and what they struggle with? Do you ask white people what it’s like to be black? Do you ask a Jewish person what it’s like to be a Buddhist? Then why is your understanding of lgbt people based on what some straight person has told you? (If you say you have gay friends, I say you are no friend to them. If you say you have “ex-gay” friends, believe me - you do not!)
Why is it OK for you to point out someone else’s sins, based on a simplistic reading of a complex holy book? Remember those African Americans and Jews I mentioned earlier? That same book was used to justify all kinds of horrors against these people - in the name of LOVE. And these simplistic interpretations continue to give license to those who bully, torment, torture, and kill lgbt people. The sins you should be worrying about are your own, because you are complicit.
Why do you fundamentalist Christians shelter yourselves among your own kind, fearful of going out into the world and spending time with people who are different? With outcasts? Why do your lives emulate those of the Pharisees, whom Jesus condemned?
If you really want to love lgbt people, here is a suggestion: find your nearest PFLAG chapter www.pflag.org and attend a meeting. Be quiet. Listen. Learn. Find out what gay people are really like, and how you can really help them. And when you truly understand, you will know why the phrase “Love the sinner; hate the sin” grates on the ears of every lgbt person you’ve ever recited it to.