75% bad timing
I had my first mini-breakdown at work on Wednesday, after we had a meeting about a huge account that we didn't get. It was a few weeks ago, so none of this was surprising or new, but I let too many of the things my boss was saying get under my skin, and I was starting to get a little upset. I was fine during the meeting, although I knew that if it lasted any longer I wouldn't be able to control myself, and collected myself in the bathroom briefly.
Right after, though, one of the other higher-ups pulled me aside to say that he didn't think anything was my fault and that he enjoyed working with me and I just completely fell apart.
It's ironic in these situations that I can keep my composure when being criticized or demeaned or yelled at, but the moment someone shows kindness, I'm gone. Anyway, I had to excuse myself for a bit (without shoes on!) to go out and pull myself back together.
This was really frustrating because I would have been okay if it were not this time of the month. I hate that people will see this and think I'm a silly, weak and emotional thing.
I'm hoping that that guy and the one other guy I ran into on my way back are the only ones who noticed, but...
I TRIED SO HARD.
A also noticed immediately and offered to talk it out with me, but I was mostly back by then. I have a mess of stuff to clean up work-wise for this, and it won't be pretty, but more than anything I wish I could control my tear ducts.