definitely in progress

[bonified]

it's been awhile
my heart hardened over
covered in rusted over ceramic
lava layers
blackened
and for the
first time
in a long time
instead of polishing it
in my routine
prying it
with my short nails
opening up the layers of
the thoughts i thought were cemented

taking off the layers
soft warm blanket layers
layered on
old couches
with no couch covers
just blankets covering one another
falling into them
between them
i lost myself in them one time
the blankets were so soft
soft like your hair was
so long ago
but i remember your hair was
a part of your soul
it hit your face like a dark light
something softer than a shadow
covered things u wanted it to
it hit your face
and it hid parts of you from sight
a beautiful cover though

a smirky smile
a warm soul
sarcasm and salty tequila
your flip side
alive and unpredictable
neverending giggle

and when it ended
you said you knew what i was feeling
you said you knew what i must be going through
as though you knew what i saw when i saw you
but you haven't seen what i have
you can't pretend you have my eyes
say what you know of mine
comparing me to a
shallower younger person you must have been
as a mirror of something shallower
than what it is
to me
if you knew you'd know that it's not
something you can let go of
grow older and forget

i love you and i always will

they weren't warm without you
i tested it
bought all the same blankets
and fell alone into them
blankets don't tell jokes
and when they do they're pretty bad
but i did i bought those blankets
even the electric ones
but without you they never feel as soft
metaphors i could go